Relationships
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
the dad who shot is daughter's laptop...
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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Re: the dad who shot is daughter's laptop...
Here's the thing... kids complain about their parents. I'm sure you did when you were young, I know I did. I agree that what she did was disrespectful, and that it needed to be address, but I think this was pretty over the top. I know that the world today is different, and now kids are complaining on facebook... so not just to their friends, but also your relatives, and anyone else they "know." That's why I hope to teach Gwen that everything you put out there on the internet is permanent, and that she would know better then to do something like this... but if she did, I don't know that this would be my reaction. Computer use just for school and no facebook for a (long) while, yup; but in my mind what he's doing is a case of pot meet kettle. If he really wanted to get rid of the computer, why didn't he lock it away, donate it to a school/organization in need, even sell it?
Here's my other thought, I wonder if she gets an allowance? I think a better way to teach her to respect her property and appreciate the value of a dollar, then by destroying her laptop and all of her files on it, is for her to earn her keep and buy her own things. I know he talked about wanting her to get a job, but he also then went on to talk about all the stuff they buy for her. If she always got what she wanted, why would she want to get a job to earn her own money. Do they ever do chores together? Show her that its about everyone pitching in to do their part for the house? Because he seemed more the type to delegate the duties and then do some yelling if his orders weren't followed.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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This is her second time doing this, so I can understand taking away the computer indefinitely. But shooting it only teaches her that reacting in spite is okay, and does nothing to teach her that she should watch what she says in public, including the internet. It doesn't teach her to discern what's appropriate, only to not get caught--which she was already trying to do by blocking her parents.
So, I get his frustration, but I don't think he handled well only because she now has not way of learning from her behavior.
By the way, I think an allowance is a great way to teach kids about how to earn, save, and pick what they want to spend on, but I don't think not having one is an atrocity, either. And if he explained her chores accurately, it sounds like there's a whole lot more that the rest of the family must be taking care of.
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While I totally get his frustration, I agree with CS that taking the computer away indefinitely would be a more appropriate response. Girl should be punished - she sounds like many teenagers - entitled and bratty. But to destroy the laptop was totally over the top.
I do think an allowance is a good idea, and I like the idea of a kid having a part-time job. Totally teaches the value of a dollar and how to be responsible with money.
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
you know that annoying commercial for cable tv, where it's all 'when you get frustrated, your daughter imitates, when your daughter imitates, she gets thrown out of school...when your daughter marries undesirables, you have a grandson with a dog collar. don't have a grandson wearing a dog collar"?
it kind of reminds me of that. but with shooting a computer. with a gun.
::sits with Essbe::
Most of my FB friends are posting this with comments about how awesome he is. I'd be a little scared to know my dad's response to being frustrated with a situation was to pull out his .45 and shoot something up (also, that mom told him to make one of the bullets from her).
I agree that the daughter seemed bratty and entitled, but there were much better ways to deal with the situation. He keeps saying he's an IT guy, so I hope he backed up all of her data before he destroyed the computer. Or is he also going to punish her for not being able to complete her schoolwork that was saved on the laptop?
Parents do need to earn a portion of respect. Some of it is "respect your parents, no matter what," sure, but some of it needs to come from acting like a friggin adult.
This dude doesn't deserve that respect.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
am i the only one that was bothered by his smoking?
i mean...i'm a smoker, but i don't like to do it in front of my kids or their friends.
i just thought it was weird.
agreed. Shooting her computer is effed up.
That is one of my favorite episodes.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I bet he thought smoking would make him seem tougher.
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
This. But I'm also not a fan of guns, especially if they're going to be used for THAT.
If we are only discussing the gun thing, then his actions freaked me out. Just the fact that he pulled it out and, well, shot something, was not cool at all. The destruction in general is crazy. Teaching somebody the value of a dollar does not come from ruining something.
However, everything up until then, I was fine with. If what he was saying was accurate, the girl's attitude was pretty craptastic, and their usual punishments weren't doing any good. Her letter made it sound like she was expected to do so much around the house. The dad said that all she is expected to do is light upkeep mostly after herself, things that I do everyday and it takes me 5 minutes.
If and when the day comes where my kid feels so entitled that he does something like this in a very public way, I would probably flip as well. That girl's rant belonged in a diary, not the internet. She needed to learn that what she does online will bite her in the ass, especially since it appears that her dad's message has gone viral.
Although I still think it was a completely ridiculous and inappropriate way to handle the situation, his response to the public reaction seems to be pretty reasonable so far - so I'll give him some credit for that.
http://twentytwowords.com/2012/02/10/follow-up-from-the-dad-who-shot-his-daughters-computer/
See if this kid was really giving them hell and they'd tried everything else, including teaching respect and manners by example, I could see doing something like this. But it doesn't sound like either of those things are the case, particularly not being taught to act politely and rationally by her parents.
This is not an absolute by any means but generally d!ck kids come from d!ck parents.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Yes. I'm a fan of gun free parenting.
There's this board's reaction, and then there's these people who almost make me side with the dad: http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/mind-blowingly-entitled-responses-to-dads-vlo
Some gems:
"what a f---ot he is! I bet she's not even his real daughter. Virgin father."
"Who the hell buys software? She deserves this if only for not torrenting it."
"if this is real you're a viscous sick bastard" (mmm, slimy!)
"she should go to police say he touches her"
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Yep - like I said, I think his FB response was pretty sane:
Attention Media Outlets:
While we appreciate the interest you?re all putting forth to get in touch with us regarding the video, we?re not going to go on your talk show, not going to call in to your radio show, and not going to be in your TV miniseries.
Some of you think I made an acceptable parenting decision, and others think I didn?t. However, I can?t think of any way myself or my daughter can respond to a media outlet that won?t be twisted out of context. The Dallas news TV news already showed that in their brief five-minute interview with the psychologist.
Additionally, there?s absolutely NO way I?m going to send my child the message that it?s OK to gain from something like this. It would send her a message that it?s OK to profit at the expense of someone else?s embarrassment or misfortune, and that?s now how I was raised, nor how she has been raised.
So I say thank you from all of us. If we have anything to say, we?ll say it here on Facebook, and we?ll say it publicly, but we won?t say it to a microphone or a camera. There are too many other REAL issues out there that could use this attention you?re giving us. My daughter isn?t hurt, emotionally scarred, or otherwise damaged, but that kind of publicity has never seemed to be to have a positive effect on any child or family.
If you?re a news outlet that wants to ask us a question, feel free to so via email. I?m sure by now my email address is easy enough to find. It might take me a while to get to a response because I?d have to sort through the ?Die you bastard? emails to find it, but we will respond if it?s something that we feel merits it. Otherwise, sorry ? no interviews, no talk shows, no call-ins.
If we respond to anything, it will be on here, and it will be in a way that our words can?t be misconstrued or edited for appeal to specific audience or shock value.
Now, I?m going to try to get to work for the day.
Best of luck to all of you out there .. and PLEASE give my phone a break.
"I'll bet he goes through her dairy." Of course, that's just good farming.
I agree that the statement is pretty sane and while I agree with other posters about the ridiculousness of the whole shooting thing, I don't think it's crazy either.
I do find it weird that he's blaming people for misconstruing his parenting technique that he posted on FB since the parenting had to do with your kids rant about things on FB.
"If you wanna win then you shoulda put a hat on it. Don't be mad when you see a knit cap won it. If you wanna win then you shoulda put a hat on it."- Fenton
The cigarette was the first thing I noticed, and not in a good way.
I think addressing disrespectful actions/comments needs to be addressed, but the shooting thing is definitely over the top.
Plus, guns make me seriously nervous. I think getting shot is my #1 fear.
I'm sure that if all of our parenting moments were filmed and made available for judgment then each of us would have people on a message board saying 'poor parenting' ... yadda yadda.
He put it out there for us to judge - of course but people calling the police and CPS? Those people need jobs and more to do - I imagine several from thenest/bump made calls LOL
He didn't threaten his daughter in the video with the gun. It isn't my way of life but that is how HE chose to handle it. I simply shrug my shoulders. He vented in a similar manner that she did. He is an adult, she is not. Maybe this is where she learned the behavior but the consequences are much different because he is the adult and she is the child.
Sad. Just a broken relationship. And it's probably been broken way, WAY longer than the dad realizes.
"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood."
Who else kept thinking of this for the entire duration of the video? Anyone?
I think his daughter sounds like a brat. I think he should have taken her computer, backed up the data, and taken his daughter to a women's shelter so she could give the laptop to the administrator as a donation.
I think the smoking and the gun and the shooting were needlessly "I'm-trying-to-be-a-badass" and showed a clear intent to be both incendiary and publicity-seeking.
And I think he should have shut down her Facebook account and given her this lecture face-to-face rather than post it on her wall.
Updated September 2012.