Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
If you are the one who left.
I am still struggling with how you can be so in love with someone and then BAM decide it's not for you anymore. How/why did you fall out of love? Especially if you have kids.
"How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
Re: If you are the one who left.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. My Blog
Why not focus on your trip with your new man? Oh, because you didn't heal from your last relationship before jumping into a new one like everyone on here told you? Okay, continue with your trainwreck of a life asking a message board to explain your pain rather than go to counseling and spending sometime alone focusing on yourself. Obviously the new relationship band-aid is working.
THHIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
This is my relationship to a "T"....we were eventually living as roommates. I wanted more than that.
You're sooooo mean!!!! Haha.
Mine wasn't gradual either. When someone treats you like utter crap for years and years, one can only handle it for so long before finally giving up. I felt nothing for XH when I left him because he had been so abusive, for so long. I was really relieved to finally not have to pretend anymore.
THAT being said, I still took a long time to reflect on the relationship, what went wrong, what my role was, what I will do differently next time, etc. That was my way of dealing with things, but, then again, there's always plan B: jump headlong into a relationship with the first warm body that comes along.
My stbx is the one that left. It was a BAM thing for me but for him, he knew all along secretly that he just could not do it long term.
But the point really is, what ever the other person does, it is all him/her and not you. You can only worry about you. If you try to figure out the mind of another person, you are going to go crazy. Resisting to let go will only hinder you from moving on. You can't force someone else to change but you can take the time to change yourself.
I know! This post makes me miss Liubot, who actually chose to listen and better her lifer rather than stick her fingers in her ears and say "I can't hear you!"
This exactly for me too! I've actually been talking about my H more as my roommate lately than my H. We just grew apart, apparently there wasn't enough there to begin with to keep us together and intersted in each other.
Hooray!
I think I'm in love with you.