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What would you do/think?
DH is considering a career move that would make some serious changes to a few aspects of our life. He's deployed right now so my only real means of communication is via email. I mean, he gets to call but, it's never long enough to have a conversation at length about something like this. Here are my biggest issues:
1. He has been so supportive of my professional goals and I feel I need to reciprocate that. I'm not sure how to voice my concerns without making it sound like I think it's a bad idea. I don't think it's a bad idea I just think that there are things that need to be considered.
2. He wants to submit his packages for 2 positions (1 of which I have concerns about) while he is deployed. This issue is not time sensitive so I'm wondering if it would be asinine for me to ask him to hold off until he comes home and we have a serious conversation about what these moves would mean for us as a couple. Does it need to be talked about in person or should I suck it up and shoot off and email.
3. He kind of goes back and forth on the job I have concerns about quite frequently so we had never got any further than "I could do this if I want". I want details of if you put in this package and you get through whatever process is required what does this mean for us logistically (where are your available duty stations, what are deployment schedules typically like, etc.) I guess it seems kind of sudden because of that like he's making a decision that could affect us both without talking to me first.
Re: What would you do/think?
He had never taken the option of the job I'm concerned about seriously before so I never really had a chance to get concerned. He had gone over some of the things it would entail if he did it but he brushed it off the next day saying it was something he didn't really think he'd like to do. I guess I was just trying to say that because he had given me the impression that he didn't seriously consider this as an option or even want to do this before I feel a bit blindsided.
It DOES affect both of you, so if you have reservations, it is important for him to know. If it is not time sensitive, I would ask him to hold off on the one you're iffy on until you can have a face to face conversation. That said, a detailed and well written email can be useful, as sometimes that is the only way to communicate at the time. In your situation, I would write him an email telling him that I am proud of him for considering career paths, but also tell him that I would like to talk to him in person first before he submits the applications, as it does affect both of your lives.
On the flip side of this, I have changed jobs while H was out of town, and was grateful for him letting me know what his concerns were. His concerns gave me further perspective, and adjusted the way I searched for my job- it ended up working out very well, and I was very happy to hear his perspective.