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It's over...
Hi all,
I have been a lurker for a few weeks, but this is my first post.
I have been separated since the beginning of January.
It's been a crazy roller coaster of emotions and events. I kept going back and forth- in my head- and thinking just MAYBE it could still work. We have been thru SO much in our 11yrs together, 6 married, and I couldn't come to grips with it.
Today I learned that hes been hacking into my FB and e-mail checking up on me and what I've been doing, who I am talking to, etc. I found out because HE posted a comment on one of MY status updates- under MY name.
I was livid. I decided today that no matter what, the issue of me trusting him has always been and will always be there. He took the rest of "his" stuff today and is living with his mom.
Part of me feels SO much better, but another part feels sad- for myself that I couldnt make my family work, and sad for our 2.5yr old daughter that she has to come from a broken home. I also feel, odd as it is, sad for him because now he is 33 and lives with his mother again... I know I shouldn't, but I just DO.
Anyone else feel this way??
Re: It's over...
This is the Starting Over board.
I have not yet told my H I am planning to leave, and part of the reason is I don't want to hurt him, although he had an affair, so it doesn't make sense to me that I am worried about hurting him. So you being sad he has to live with his mom at age 33 makes perfect sense to me!
Stick around...this is a great group, and posting here has helped me a lot!
Being from a divorced home is not the same as coming from a broken home. I've seen plenty of kids (I teach) who come from broken homes where the parents are still married.
Trust is something you must have in any relationship. Your H has violated that.
Of course this is going to hurt. You're mourning a death in many ways. However, you're doing what's best for you and your daughter, and I guarantee you it's better for her to grow up in a single-parent home than one full of bitterness and mistrust. I promise.
I sent you a PM
)
Now I feel stupid. I forgot what board I was reading. Sorry about that!