Our soon to be married friends live in Upper Upper Manhattan, near Inwood. They always ask us to come over, and we do! I work in the Financial District, and always go to their place after work, because it's a quicker trip than going from my home in Brooklyn. After more than a few visits, I told them that they have to come to our place, cause one-they've never seen it. And two-I wanted to be nice and host dinner. They both agreed, and everything was fine.
I got a hold of one of them and told them to pick a date, and we'll do dinner here (in Brooklyn). The subject was changed and no date was given. A week after that, I asked again, and again no date was given. The other day, I get a txt on my way home asking if we could go over their place that night. I already had plans, but I was a little pissed that once again we would have to make the trip to their place again.
I mention, again about us hosting a get together, and their excuse was our place wasn't pet friendly. Our landlord, not us doesn't allow it. But they never asked us to bring their dogs over to begin with. So I was thinking, that if we lived in a house in the suburbs they would just bring over their dogs for the hell of it? Plus, they both work all day, and don't have a dog walker, so they are capable of being home alone. I had dogs once and they never hindered my decision to go somewhere.
Yes, it's a long trip from our place to theirs, but I just don't think it's fair that we have to keep taking that trip, and they don't. What should I say or do?
Re: Living in Brooklyn, Means No One Wants To Visit
I've never heard the excuse that someone can't come because they can't bring a pet! My friends with pets don't bring them over.
I do hear ya about the annoyance. We live in Forest Hills. I work in Brooklyn. I often meet up with friends places that are far from where I live. Bronx, Manhattan, Brooklyn. Even Staten Island, Hoboken, and Westchester. Yeah, it's a pain but I'd like to see my friends. I have had friends tell me flat out "I don't do Queens." Um, what? Your loss.
H has a close friend that rarely travels outside of a 10-block radius of his apartment. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but seriously I can can count on one hand the times that he's been out to hang with us in our neighborhood.
I think that's great of you to host a dinner for your friends. I'd like to think that the trade-off when I do that is that the friends have to travel but I have cooked for them.
I think the best thing is to find some middle ground, literally. I like to find places to socialize that are somewhat centrally located for all parties and can be easily accessed by public transportation. That way everyone has to travel a bit but it's equally as long to get there.
Your friend might be like my H's who is always self-centered in that respect. I am not sure if there is anything that you can say other than "No thank you" when you don't feel like going.
Can you imagine me bringing my 4 cats to my friends houses?!? LMFAO
Just thought I'd throw that in there. hehe
Haha! I know!
I know! Plus, they didn't even ask, even if I could have dogs at my place!
This.