Maine Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH Vent (re: Valentine's Day)
So DH apparently is having
flowers sent to me for Valentines Day (he is out of town for work). I
found out when I went to our checking account. $70 he spent on them! I
handle our finances and I didn't budget $70 for stupid flowers. If he
had said at the beginning of the month he wanted money for gifts or
something then fine. However, he just goes and spends a pretty large
amount of money (for our budget anyways $70 is a lot!) on flowers. I
would rather have had a back rub or help cleaning the house instead. I
know he was just trying to be nice, but seriously dude. We're in debt
and keep talking about how we need to be better, etc and you go and
waste $70 on something like flowers. Come on! He did the same thing for
my birthday last week. I told him I didn't want anything except to have a
clean house (I can't do much since I have a baby attached to me 24/7)
and instead he gets me an itunes card and goes away for work for 2 weeks
leaving behind a trashed house that I had to find time to clean before
my family came to visit.
Re: DH Vent (re: Valentine's Day)
Aw man, I hate that. DH has bought flowers that I didn't think I needed or could have spent the money elsewhere, but I know he does it with good intentions. Plus, I really like getting flowers so I can't get mad. I would be just as happy with a $6 bouquet from the grocery store though.
Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed with the house cleaning. I know I didn't want to use the, "I just had a baby so my house is a mess" excuse, so I get how you feel.
Awww...but your baby is sooo cute!!
It kills me that flowers have become this crazy, overpriced "necessity" pitched to men for Valentine's Day. I mean, I love flowers, but they are just so expensive, especially this time of year. We are also on a budget, so I feel your pain in that regard - DH is definitely the one to be more free with spending on "fun" things and I always feel like a stingy jerk saying anything. Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do at this point, but we've gone through quite a few years worth of no gifts in order to curb extraneous spending - or only buying something we need and considering that our gift to each other. Perhaps wait a few weeks and then suggest this going forward for the next year or so? Also, I just registered for an account on Mint.com, which helped us see where our money is really going - that might be an eye-opening reality, when he sees how much is going toward the "gifts" category - though it sounds like you are on top of your budget already. Sorry, I wish I had better advice...
Seriously, though, your baby is so cute
yeah I'm a total *** and already yelled at him. I told him I'd rather have the gift of not struggling financially all our lives instead of flowers. I feel bad, but I'm using the excuse that I'm totally stressed/sleep deprived from the baby to justify it.
Thanks
well, it sounds like you've discussed all of this before, so I would hardly call you a *** for blatantly speaking your mind - dancing around the issue may be polite, but doesn't necessarily get the job done
This is great advice!
My DH spent about $70 on a dozen long-stem roses for my birthday the first year we were married. I had a similar freak-out. I did love the flowers and the sentiment, just not the price tag. Ever since, he buys me nothing but $20 grocery store flowers, which makes my heart and the budget happy! (I generally only get flowers twice a year - Valentine's Day and Mother's Day - so I don't mind the little splurge.)
This is really interesting. One of Josh's big hangups when I kept telling him (and still tell him) over and over that I didn't really want gifts, was that he can't imagine not wanting gifts or a surprise, so maybe it's just what you're describing.
This book/theory is very good and in my experience it makes a lot of sense. Definitely check it out!!
That's really interesting!