Trouble in Paradise
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Strangers and their comments...

I find that since I've had my daughter, it seems to give strangers the "green light" to approach me to start a conversation. I'm not against light chit chat on line in the supermarket, but the things strangers have said to me..lol

AND, I find in my experience, the older the person..the ruder the comment is. Amazing.

So, a little background - I'm Puerto Rican, my husband is Irish. *You can see us in my profile.

Anyway, I was in the mall with the baby one day - and this woman (senior citizen) comes up to me to check the baby out. Looks at the baby, and then looks at me. Here's the conversation:

Her: Oh she is beautiful.

Me: Thank you very much.

Her: But she has blue eyes.

Me: Yes she does.

Her: May I ask her background, she has quite a look. 

Me: A "look" huh? Well, I'm Puerto Rican, my husband is Irish

Her: Puerto Rican and Irish?! NO! You, you're like Eric Estrada but this little cookie is Caucasian! Right my little cookie? you're White!!

Okay, so I shouldn't have even played into the background question, but WTF?!

1. The most racist comment ever.

2. Eric Estrada is MEXICAN, huge difference between Mexican and Puerto Rican

3. The rage I felt at that moment. R.A.G.E. 

Anyway, has a stranger ever made an obnoxious comment to you?

 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker ...here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)

Re: Strangers and their comments...

  • When I was pregnant with DD, I had a woman come up to me while in line at the grocery store and lecture me on the horrors of teen pregnancy, asking how I was going to provide for my unborn baby or if I was planning on having my parents do it for me, how was I going to finish school...

    When she finally shut up about it, I shoved my wedding ring in her face, told her I was 30 years old, married, and owned my own home and that I'd graduated from high school over a decade ago.

    Needless to say, she walked away with a pretty red face. The people around us were laughing.

    Oh, FFS.
  • Not a stranger but when I was pregnant with DD, one of my SILs said "If the baby comes out black, I will cut (8days)."

    She was just joking of course, LOL! She's hilarious that one. She was also on texting my H and MIL while I was in the hospital having DD that now that he was having a baby, SIL wouldn't be his favorite girl anymore.

    You can guess how I feel about her.

    DD Lea, born 04/21/10
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  • imagemalibu5880:

    When I was pregnant with DD, I had a woman come up to me while in line at the grocery store and lecture me on the horrors of teen pregnancy, asking how I was going to provide for my unborn baby or if I was planning on having my parents do it for me, how was I going to finish school...

    When she finally shut up about it, I shoved my wedding ring in her face, told her I was 30 years old, married, and owned my own home and that I'd graduated from high school over a decade ago.

    Needless to say, she walked away with a pretty red face. The people around us were laughing.

    I had an experience like Malibu. My fingers were too swollen to wear my wedding ring. 

    Also, since H is Taiwanese DD looks a lot like him (of course). You can see me in her sometimes, but honestly his genes dominated lol. So I get comments of, "did you adopt her from over seas?". I'm like, "No, we did it the old fashion way. She is a biracial baby. LOL"

    image
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  • I?m very sorry you had to go through that.  It is a shame that people are so stuck in their ways and feel it?s their right to pass judgment or make ridiculous comments.  Some things older people say are endearing...others are downright mean and hurtful, especially the racist comments.

  • A couple of weeks after I had DS I got a lecture from an oldish woman (probably 50's/60's) about raising my DS without being married (I was shopping at Kohl's).  She assumed because I didn't have a ring on that I must not be married.  I wasn't married, but it wasn't for her to assume. She implied that he will be scarred because he has an unmarried mother.  Glad I didn't tell her that I wasn't even with the father.  The horror!  Actually, I didn't say one thing after she started in on that and walked away.  She baited me by telling me how adorable he was.  Actually, I was really intimidated by her because I was already feeling horrible about my situation and she just added to it.

    I wish I could find her now and show her how well adjusted, smart and handsome DS is, but she's probably dead by now.  That what happens when you're a crochety old bitty.

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  • I'm sorry for laughing, but all I could think about was in the movie Clueless, when Cher asks the maid to speak Mexican with the gardener and the maid gets bad because she's not mexican.   Cher doesn't understand and Paul Rudd tells her "Lucy is from El Salvadaor" and Cher says, "So?" and he says, "you get mad when people think you live below Sunset."

    And that's my contribution. 

     

  • imagemalibu5880:

    When I was pregnant with DD, I had a woman come up to me while in line at the grocery store and lecture me on the horrors of teen pregnancy, asking how I was going to provide for my unborn baby or if I was planning on having my parents do it for me, how was I going to finish school...

    When she finally shut up about it, I shoved my wedding ring in her face, told her I was 30 years old, married, and owned my own home and that I'd graduated from high school over a decade ago.

    Needless to say, she walked away with a pretty red face. The people around us were laughing.

    AWESOME!

    I also get a lot of "What is your baby?"  I need to come up with a better answer. Like referencing sex with an alien. 

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  • imagekirac:
    imagemalibu5880:

    When I was pregnant with DD, I had a woman come up to me while in line at the grocery store and lecture me on the horrors of teen pregnancy, asking how I was going to provide for my unborn baby or if I was planning on having my parents do it for me, how was I going to finish school...

    When she finally shut up about it, I shoved my wedding ring in her face, told her I was 30 years old, married, and owned my own home and that I'd graduated from high school over a decade ago.

    Needless to say, she walked away with a pretty red face. The people around us were laughing.

    AWESOME!

    I also get a lot of "What is your baby?"  I need to come up with a better answer. Like referencing sex with an alien. 

    Oh nice. Who asks someone WHAT their baby is? The only "thing" your baby is is freaking adorable. 

    Oh, FFS.
  • I was at the store once with DS and some lady wanted all the details of my birth story, which I tiptoed around as much as possible and she ended the 20 questions session with "So where's the baby daddy?"

    Later, walking through a parking lot with DS in his stroller, these old women glared at me, smiled at baby, glared at me again and when I went past them one said to the other "there goes Juno."  umm, thanks? I didn't think I looked 16, but I guess I appreciate the aging well comment. 

    People are rude. 

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  • My oldest daughter had cotton white hair when she was a baby and toddler. My natural color (when I was younger), was almost black. One day we were at her K-3 end of the year party and someone commented on her hair and how beautiful it was. I don't remember how it went from there, but basically almost every mom in the class had thought the whole year that she was adopted. I could not even speak. People can be so stupid.
    Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
    "Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown
  • One time I was out with my teenage brother and his girlfriend.  I had to go to the restroom, so they watched DD.  They overheard some lady asking I wonder how old she was when she had that baby and giving them nasty looks.  Another time I had them babysit and they took DD to this festival thing in town.  Rumors kept going around their school that they had a secret child.  The weirdest part is that they are both white and DD is biracial.

    One day I was leaving a store with DD and some guy nodded and said "That's a black baby."  What do you say to that? I looked at him and said "Um...what?" And he said it again.  I told him yes my husband is half black and he nodded and said I could tell.  It was awkward.

    My mom has blond hair and blue eyes, but I look Asian.  She would constantly get comments about adopting overseas from people who hadn't seen my dad.

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  • A friend of my boss asked me a few weeks ago (I'm 38wks pregnant right now) "is the baby's daddy still around?" Um, I am married you nosy jackarse! I just pointed to my rings and left the room.
  • Wow, it's amazing how rude strangers can be..lol I think now, I can laugh at it...actually, I find it really funny..but in the moment, I definitely didn't. I think people make ass-ish comments to strangers even when it's not related to kid/pregnancy issues..it's amazing how sometimes people just don't have filters...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker ...here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)
  • I think my favorite comment was from my Great Aunt.  When my DS1 was about 6 months old we were all at a party.  I went in a back room to nurse him at one point.  I came out and she asked where I had gone.  I told her to nurse DS1.  She then looked at my chest and then back up to my face and said, "oh you must have supply issues."  I was like, "why do you say that??"  She said, "because you are so flat chested."  You can imagine my expressionIndifferent  I just told her she was right, I made way too much milk and had to donate about a third of what I produced.  I then proceeded to explain that there was no correlation between the amount of boob fat a person has and milk production.  It was hilarious!  I still love to tell people about it because it gives me a giggle.  People are ignorant.
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