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bridal shower gift question--

a friend of mine is having her bridal shower this weekend-- i have no intentions on going! should i.....

send her a gift, as if i was going (usually would spend about $30-$40)

combine what i *would've* spent on shower gift with their wedding gift (in april) which we will be attending (usually spend about $100 + shower gift)

buy her a regular wedding gift, no need to add missing shower gift ($100 only).

♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

image
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.

Re: bridal shower gift question--

  • It would depend on how close I was to her. If we were best friends, or family, I would send shower gift or money even if I couldn't go. If it was just a friend, I would choose one of the bottom two. Most likely just the last one. I don't think you should have to make up for not going to her shower. Unless you want to.
  • imageBrandyL10:
    It would depend on how close I was to her. If we were best friends, or family, I would send shower gift or money even if I couldn't go. If it was just a friend, I would choose one of the bottom two. Most likely just the last one. I don't think you should have to make up for not going to her shower. Unless you want to.

    This, exactly. :)

    greenbaby
    BFP 1/22/12 | Ectopic pregnancy found 2/14/12 | Methotrexate to complete m/c 2/15/12 imageimageimage Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
  • I would do whatever is the easiest for you to do, you have sooo much going on already.  If I was in your shoes, I think I would pass on the shower gift to another friend who is going so the bride can open the gift at the shower, and buy the regular wedding gift in April.
    OMH est. May 7, 2011
    image
    Photo courtesy of jennygg.com
    My never updated Planning/Married Bio: http://mgoss228.weebly.com/
    Seattle Knotties: Please page me if you send me a PM!
  • imagepicksthemusic:

    imageBrandyL10:
    It would depend on how close I was to her. If we were best friends, or family, I would send shower gift or money even if I couldn't go. If it was just a friend, I would choose one of the bottom two. Most likely just the last one. I don't think you should have to make up for not going to her shower. Unless you want to.

    This, exactly. :)

    Ditto.

    FWIW, if it were my shower and someone couldn't come b/c they were about to have a baby, I wouldn't expect a gift regardless of how close we were.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imagemgoss228:
    I would do whatever is the easiest for you to do, you have sooo much going on already.  If I was in your shoes, I think I would pass on the shower gift to another friend who is going so the bride can open the gift at the shower, and buy the regular wedding gift in April.

    i like this option a lot..but i will take into consideration what other pp's have said about omitting the gift altogether. we're not super-close..but i'm in the close-knit "circle"..just her and i directly are not super-close. 

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennlin:

    imagemgoss228:
    I would do whatever is the easiest for you to do, you have sooo much going on already.  If I was in your shoes, I think I would pass on the shower gift to another friend who is going so the bride can open the gift at the shower, and buy the regular wedding gift in April.

    i like this option a lot..but i will take into consideration what other pp's have said about omitting the gift altogether. we're not super-close..but i'm in the close-knit "circle"..just her and i directly are not super-close. 

    In that case, I think it would all depend on the friendship circle's "politics."  In my circle, a lot of the brides (from the last year or so) would be hurt if they didn't receive a present or a card from someone who couldn't attend the shower.  Me and my friends are probably the more Bridezilla types, and I think a lot of us are very Receiving Gift Love Language types too.

    If your bride is more chill, I don't think she can fault you for no gift.  But it all depends on the circle's politics.

    OMH est. May 7, 2011
    image
    Photo courtesy of jennygg.com
    My never updated Planning/Married Bio: http://mgoss228.weebly.com/
    Seattle Knotties: Please page me if you send me a PM!
  • imagemgoss228:
    imagejennlin:

    imagemgoss228:
    I would do whatever is the easiest for you to do, you have sooo much going on already.  If I was in your shoes, I think I would pass on the shower gift to another friend who is going so the bride can open the gift at the shower, and buy the regular wedding gift in April.

    i like this option a lot..but i will take into consideration what other pp's have said about omitting the gift altogether. we're not super-close..but i'm in the close-knit "circle"..just her and i directly are not super-close. 

    In that case, I think it would all depend on the friendship circle's "politics."  In my circle, a lot of the brides (from the last year or so) would be hurt if they didn't receive a present or a card from someone who couldn't attend the shower.  Me and my friends are probably the more Bridezilla types, and I think a lot of us are very Receiving Gift Love Language types too.

    If your bride is more chill, I don't think she can fault you for no gift.  But it all depends on the circle's politics.

    yikes. good point. i just realized that the person i would've given the gift to bring to the bride--i didn't get her a shower gift last year when i couldn't attend. and i'm closer with her than i am with the current bride. 

    i just feel like i should get her a shower gift since bride just came to my baby shower......

    guess i will just opt out of a gift or send her something....still deciding on that one!

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennlin:
    imagemgoss228:
    imagejennlin:

    imagemgoss228:
    I would do whatever is the easiest for you to do, you have sooo much going on already.  If I was in your shoes, I think I would pass on the shower gift to another friend who is going so the bride can open the gift at the shower, and buy the regular wedding gift in April.

    i like this option a lot..but i will take into consideration what other pp's have said about omitting the gift altogether. we're not super-close..but i'm in the close-knit "circle"..just her and i directly are not super-close. 

    In that case, I think it would all depend on the friendship circle's "politics."  In my circle, a lot of the brides (from the last year or so) would be hurt if they didn't receive a present or a card from someone who couldn't attend the shower.  Me and my friends are probably the more Bridezilla types, and I think a lot of us are very Receiving Gift Love Language types too.

    If your bride is more chill, I don't think she can fault you for no gift.  But it all depends on the circle's politics.

    yikes. good point. i just realized that the person i would've given the gift to bring to the bride--i didn't get her a shower gift last year when i couldn't attend. and i'm closer with her than i am with the current bride. 

    i just feel like i should get her a shower gift since bride just came to my baby shower......

    guess i will just opt out of a gift or send her something....still deciding on that one!

    So I absolutely cannot claim this idea, as I saw it at another bridal shower, but I loved it - if you're looking for an inexpensive but somewhat thoughtful (and unique) gift, I went to a bridal shower where one guest gave the bride a bottle of wine that would age well (say, 5-10 years) and a personalized card for the bride-to-be and her husband, with instructions to crack that wine on a landmark anniversary (based on how well the wine would age you could do 5-10 years).  

    Anyway, because you can get a nice bottle of wine for like, $20, it seemed like a cute gift idea because it's so different from everything else, but you don't have to spend a lot.  If the bride-to-be isn't a wine drinker than it's not much help, but I loved the idea personally (I actually stole it from a shower where every guest was asked to bring a bottle of wine for a different anniversary, and I thought that was crazy cool).... just a thought since it would be easy to just pick up a bottle of wine and write a card! 

  • Sounds like you have good advice from pp, so just wondering:

    Why didn't you make this a clicky?Surprise

    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • imageKST_:

    Why didn't you make this a clicky?Surprise

    because i wanted to hear explanations too. if it's just clicky, people just click and run. i wanted to hear the reasoning behind it.

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • imagejennuinne:
    imagepicksthemusic:

    imageBrandyL10:
    It would depend on how close I was to her. If we were best friends, or family, I would send shower gift or money even if I couldn't go. If it was just a friend, I would choose one of the bottom two. Most likely just the last one. I don't think you should have to make up for not going to her shower. Unless you want to.

    This, exactly. :)

    Ditto.

    FWIW, if it were my shower and someone couldn't come b/c they were about to have a baby, I wouldn't expect a gift regardless of how close we were.

    all of this.

    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
  • Wow. I totally fail. I didn't realize the bridal shower gift is separate from the wedding gift since the bridal shower requested buying gifts off their registry.
    imageLilypie Maternity tickers
  • imagesarack:
    imagejennuinne:
    imagepicksthemusic:

    imageBrandyL10:
    It would depend on how close I was to her. If we were best friends, or family, I would send shower gift or money even if I couldn't go. If it was just a friend, I would choose one of the bottom two. Most likely just the last one. I don't think you should have to make up for not going to her shower. Unless you want to.

    This, exactly. :)

    Ditto.

    FWIW, if it were my shower and someone couldn't come b/c they were about to have a baby, I wouldn't expect a gift regardless of how close we were.

    all of this.

    Yep. 

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