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Rant (non-V-Day related)
Backstory: My mom lives in southern Indiana and has no family there; it was a move associated with my dad's job a few years ago. My brother lives in Wisconsin, but not our home town of Madison. The rest of our family lives in Michigan. I'm in Kansas City.
So, I was talking to my mom last night. She had just gotten back from my brother's place for my niece's birthday. Since dad passed a few months ago, she had been thinking about moving to the town my where my brother lives so she can be closer to the kiddo and because my bro and SIL said they would love her to be closer. So, while she's visiting, she tells them she's thinking about it, and maybe they should tour some of the areas of town while she's there.
My bro and SIL say that they'd love her to be closer, but they were thinking more like an hour or so away...to a part of the state she's never lived in and doesn't know anyone...oh, and wouldn't it be nice because then she's closer to where SIL's parents live and it would just be so convenient. Because they really, really want Alex to grow up knowing her grandma, and wouldn't it be great if she could visit for weekends, but still be close enough to pick up in case she needed to come home.
Who the hell does that? "Hey, Mom, we want you here, but not so close that you'll interfere with our lives in any way, just close enough so we can shove the grandkid off on you for a weekend and go drink. You're ok with uprooting your life and living where we tell you to, right?" How f-ing rude and selfish! I honestly cannot believe that we were raised by the same people sometimes. I told mom to screw him and move to KC, as close as she wants. Then he'd have to visit here, which he's done all of once (for my wedding) in the 8 years I've lived here. Selfish jerk.
/endrant
Re: Rant (non-V-Day related)
Thinking that is one thing, but there was no reason for them to actually SAY it to her! It's not like she was going to find a place to live around there that same day.
Your poor mom - hopefully she was not too hurt. Good thing she has a wonderful daughter like you!
Wow - that is seriously rude! I can't believe that's where this post went.
Who would do that!? He should know her well enough that she's not going to be around all the time, no?
What are they afraid of anyway, an Everybody Love's Raymond kind of situation?
You would think my bro would have more respect and trust for our mother, and know her well enough to know she's not a helicopter grandma. IMO, they're both just major control freaks and they can't have anyone messing with their perfectly constructed, planned out little world.
If she moved to KC, yeah, I'd be nervous, because it means a new family dinamic. But give it a few months and set some ground rules and everything will balance out! Have some flippin' trust!
Well, it's not like he couldn't tell her that they have schedules or whatever that shouldn't/can't be interfered with.
surely she wouldn't go out of her way to ruin their world
Space is great, and I love mine, let me tell ya. However, trying to tell her to move, then telling her where to move is above and beyond. If they didn't want her in the same town, they probably shouldn't have suggested she move back to WI in the first place. It's the "we want you here...oh, you thought we meant the same town?" thing that's really bothering me. Also, my mom just lost her husband of 36 years. My bro should have some compassion for that.
ETA: Sorry HD, I realized that the above sounded a little b!tchy and I wanted to add that I understand not wanting your parents up in your business, and I don't think you're wrong. Every family dinamic is different.