June 2008 Weddings
trickeytricky
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Marital Woes
Well, DH and I had our biggest blow out ever this last Sunday.
We've never fought like that, and it started over the dumbest of thing (birthday cake) but of course escalated into everything that is wrong in our world.
It was so bad, honestly for most of the afternoon I wasn't sure we would stay married.
I know this board is like a tribute to happy marriages, but good lord sometimes they are freaking work. I think after hashing it all out, to the point that even DH was crying, we're in a better place again.
We've never fought like that, and it started over the dumbest of thing (birthday cake) but of course escalated into everything that is wrong in our world.
It was so bad, honestly for most of the afternoon I wasn't sure we would stay married.
I know this board is like a tribute to happy marriages, but good lord sometimes they are freaking work. I think after hashing it all out, to the point that even DH was crying, we're in a better place again.
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Re: Marital Woes
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This. I would be surprised to hear of any marriage that doesn't go through this multiple times.
You are of course always welcome to vent to us!!
Absolutely all of this. I think sometimes you need to hash it out to get everything out there that's been building up & clear the slate & start again (if that makes any sense?) Marriage is so hard sometimes....
So glad to hear that you guys are in a better place though now
DH and I had a pretty big fight on Friday morning, and the residual effects from it didn't go away completely until well into Saturday. It's just the nature of being married, and for being together as long as you have.
I just hate when we argue in front of Nora. We try not to do it, but it's unavoidable sometimes. We don't yell at each other, but I'm sure she can sense the tension. It makes me sad for her.
I don't think anyone should ever hesitate to come here to talk about rocky points in their marriages. I don't think there's a relationship out there that doesn't go through tough times.
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I feel like we've all been there to one degree or another, despite how 'happily married' we all are at other times.
Just remember that the point is that you did hash it all out. It'll still be raw and hard for a while, of course, but hopefully you're in the healing phase now.
DH and I once got in a fight so awful that he stopped the car, in the middle of the road, in a downtown area and told me to get out. Like slammed on the breaks stopped the car. Thankfully there wasn't any traffic around us since it was a side street etc. and he$$ no I didn't get out - but that was probably our worst fight ever. I can't even tell you now what it was about, but clearly all our other issues had spilled into it too.
We still go at it sometimes, and I am nervous about how we'll fight with LO around since we aren't the best at fighting fair (or not in public). But we've all been there and had those knock down drag out fights. Please always feel free to vent away!!
Yes, this. DH and I got in a blow out fight on Saturday and I don't even remember how it started, to the point where we were fighting in public in the hardware store with onlookers. I tried to walk away from him to cool off and get what we needed and he was all like, "what are you looking for down THIS aisle?" and I go, "A BETTER HUSBAND!" and then I felt really bad. I guess I'm saying we all go through it, and I think the honesty is refreshing... as much as we talk about struggles with our kids, bosses, jobs, ILs, etc., we don't very often talk about our marriages.
Been there too. Sometimes I thinks its the blowouts that really make happy marriages. Its a point where you get it all out. We've had our doozies as well but I think we are a better couple because of them.
((hugs))
DH and I have a huge blow out every so often, but its always about the same thing.... him being a slob and not helping out enough and my not having sex with him as often as he'd like. Plus I was going through some anxiety, stressed over every little thing, freaking out issues so that really wasn't helping! Dh and I were arguing a lot and I found myself so annoyed and angry all the time that I knew I needed help... so I went to my PCP and got put on some drugs to help with everything, and OMG it has so helped. I am finally able to calm.the.** down and not freak out about everything now. It has made me feel happier and not as overwhelmed with everything. But anyway, my point was just to let you know that others definitely have issues, so you are not alone!!
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All of this for me too. We had one on Sunday evening because I thought I told DH what time to be ready and he wasn't ready (and of course it escalated big time into other things). It happens. Sometimes it helps bring things to the surface and while it sucks at the time, it helps afterward. We've had one fight since getting married I wasn't sure we'd make it through either, but we did and were better for it. I'm glad we can talk about it here too. Marriage is definitely work.
I don't know if it was meant to be funny, but your answer made me LOL and that's totally something I would say.
I agree with Heather about fighting in front of the kids, that always makes me feel horrible and sad for Jax, but sometimes you just get carried away.
Fighting can be healthy as long as you come out of it better off and with some things hashed out. We definitely had a few early on where divorce was mentioned, which doesn't really happen anymore but we definitely still go through ups and downs regularly.
Seriously! We've been there before, a couple of times. Led me to thinking it might not work out, but it does, and will continue to as long as we work on it tog.
It's ok, I was totally chuckling at myself while typing it out because it sounds so sitcom... it made me LOL too!
I chuckled too. Only because I could totally see myself yelling something like that at DH and I'd probably start laughing midway through my yelling. We are terrible at fighting. I usually end up laughing because I get so angry I jumble my words. Then I get mad at him even more because I start to laugh.
Marriage is work and it isn't always puppies and rainbows. Highs and lows, just hopefully the lows are too low and don't last too long.
Same here. I can absolutely see myself busting that out somewhere.
Been there. DH ad I had one not too long ago where I might have told him his mamaw is a b*tch. I hope you had some rockin make up lovins.
BTW, I almost sent you a FBM about helping with your cake. I guess there is a reason I didn't.
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I laughed too
I agree with the others. Highs. Lows. We've all been there.
Sometimes I don't even know we're in a funk until we get in a fight and then things coming pouring out that I didn't even realize I thought.
Yup had one tonight! Booo! No marriage is perfect, it is just easier to leave out the bad stuff on a message board. No one wants to bash their loved one, well regularly
. Its the knock down, drag out fights that make marriages stronger.
((Hugs)) I am feelin' ya tonight