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Living in Brooklyn, Means No One Wants To Visit

Our soon to be married friends live in Upper Upper Manhattan, near Inwood. They always ask us to come over, and we do! I work in the Financial District, and always go to their place after work, because it's a quicker trip than going from my home in Brooklyn. After more than a few visits, I told them that they have to come to our place, cause one-they've never seen it. And two-I wanted to be nice and host dinner. They both agreed, and everything was fine.

I got a hold of one of them and told them to pick a date, and we'll do dinner here (in Brooklyn). The subject was changed and no date was given. A week after that, I asked again, and again no date was given. The other day, I get a txt on my way home asking if we could go over their place that night. I already had plans, but I was a little pissed that once again we would have to make the trip to their place again.

I mention, again about us hosting a get together, and their excuse was our place wasn't pet friendly. Our landlord, not us doesn't allow it. But they never asked us to bring their dogs over to begin with. So I was thinking, that if we lived in a house in the suburbs they would just bring over their dogs for the hell of it? Plus, they both work all day, and don't have a dog walker, so they are capable of being home alone. I had dogs once and they never hindered my decision to go somewhere.

Yes, it's a long trip from our place to theirs, but I just don't think it's fair that we have to keep taking that trip, and they don't. What should I say or do? 

Re: Living in Brooklyn, Means No One Wants To Visit

  • I've never heard the excuse that someone can't come because they can't bring a pet! My friends with pets don't bring them over.

    I do hear ya about the annoyance. We live in Forest Hills. I work in Brooklyn. I often meet up with friends places that are far from where I live. Bronx, Manhattan, Brooklyn. Even Staten Island, Hoboken, and Westchester. Yeah, it's a pain but I'd like to see my friends. I have had friends tell me flat out "I don't do Queens." Um, what? Your loss.

    H has a close friend that rarely travels outside of a 10-block radius of his apartment. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but seriously I can can count on one hand the times that he's been out to hang with us in our neighborhood.

    I think that's great of you to host a dinner for your friends. I'd like to think that the trade-off when I do that is that the friends have to travel but I have cooked for them.

    I think the best thing is to find some middle ground, literally. I like to find places to socialize that are somewhat centrally located for all parties and can be easily accessed by public transportation. That way everyone has to travel a bit but it's equally as long to get there.

    Your friend might be like my H's who is always self-centered in that respect. I am not sure if there is anything that you can say other than "No thank you" when you don't feel like going.

  • I'm glad I'm not the only one! I've tried to find places that were equally in the middle for us. I did the math, it would be 30 minutes for the both of us, and I got the response, "That's too far!" I just wanted to be nice, and not come off as someone who expects them to do all the cooking. But, I guess I'll just keep saying no when I truly don't feel like it....
  • image315bride:

    I've never heard the excuse that someone can't come because they can't bring a pet! My friends with pets don't bring them over.

    I do hear ya about the annoyance. We live in Forest Hills. I work in Brooklyn. I often meet up with friends places that are far from where I live. Bronx, Manhattan, Brooklyn. Even Staten Island, Hoboken, and Westchester. Yeah, it's a pain but I'd like to see my friends. I have had friends tell me flat out "I don't do Queens." Um, what? Your loss.

    H has a close friend that rarely travels outside of a 10-block radius of his apartment. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but seriously I can can count on one hand the times that he's been out to hang with us in our neighborhood.

    I think that's great of you to host a dinner for your friends. I'd like to think that the trade-off when I do that is that the friends have to travel but I have cooked for them.

    I think the best thing is to find some middle ground, literally. I like to find places to socialize that are somewhat centrally located for all parties and can be easily accessed by public transportation. That way everyone has to travel a bit but it's equally as long to get there.

    Your friend might be like my H's who is always self-centered in that respect. I am not sure if there is anything that you can say other than "No thank you" when you don't feel like going.

    Can you imagine me bringing my 4 cats to my friends houses?!? LMFAO

    Just thought I'd throw that in there. hehe

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  • Yes, living in Queens, I have experienced that many many times.  Only from my "just moved to NYC  five minutes ago" friends, though.  Real NYers aren't scared of the boroughs! (probably because they already live there, lol)
    imageimage
     

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  • imageMrsDe2008:
    image315bride:

    I've never heard the excuse that someone can't come because they can't bring a pet! My friends with pets don't bring them over.

    I do hear ya about the annoyance. We live in Forest Hills. I work in Brooklyn. I often meet up with friends places that are far from where I live. Bronx, Manhattan, Brooklyn. Even Staten Island, Hoboken, and Westchester. Yeah, it's a pain but I'd like to see my friends. I have had friends tell me flat out "I don't do Queens." Um, what? Your loss.

    H has a close friend that rarely travels outside of a 10-block radius of his apartment. I'm exaggerating a little bit, but seriously I can can count on one hand the times that he's been out to hang with us in our neighborhood.

    I think that's great of you to host a dinner for your friends. I'd like to think that the trade-off when I do that is that the friends have to travel but I have cooked for them.

    I think the best thing is to find some middle ground, literally. I like to find places to socialize that are somewhat centrally located for all parties and can be easily accessed by public transportation. That way everyone has to travel a bit but it's equally as long to get there.

    Your friend might be like my H's who is always self-centered in that respect. I am not sure if there is anything that you can say other than "No thank you" when you don't feel like going.

    Can you imagine me bringing my 4 cats to my friends houses?!? LMFAO

    Just thought I'd throw that in there. hehe

     Haha! I know!

  • seriously, who says they won't come over because they can't bring their dogs??
    imageimage
     

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  • imageMrs.Kocal:
    seriously, who says they won't come over because they can't bring their dogs??

     

    I know! Plus, they didn't even ask, even if I could have dogs at my place!

  • I think we pretty much all agree that your friends are being ridiculous.
  • I'm all late to this party, but that's funny to me that they want to bring their pets. I have a dog and I visit my friends, I do not bring her. Is there another reason they might be acting like this? And if you think the reason people aren't visiting you is because you live in Brooklyn, try living in Staten Island. Lol. People act like it's on the end of the earth. Lmao!!
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  • I can see Staten Island from my place (no, not being Sarah Palin funny). So maybe they too think it's at the end of the world. Just yesterday, I got asked again by them to come over after work. I'm a 50's house wife (well in my mind I think I am), and therefore would LOVE to host a get together, but I can't get them to budge!
  • You can? I just moved back to SI from Bay Ridge myself. I think your friends are just selfish and lazy, and don't want to be bothered making any effort and that's why they keep throwing it back in your lap. I'd be offended, friendships should be all parties giving/taking equally, imo
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker ...here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)
  • image315bride:
    I think we pretty much all agree that your friends are being ridiculous.

     

    This. 


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