Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What do you do for you?
I have been having a difficult time finding things to do for me. I have never really lived for myself before because I have had caregiver characteristics and I push my problems to the side always.
I am trying to find things to do for me. I have a gym membership but I cannot go regularly because I have a lot of back problems so it is when I'm not in pain. I've been going for coffee with girlfriends on and off or calling girlfriends. But what about just for me?
Any suggestions?
Any way the wind blows...
Re: What do you do for you?
Unless I am really off the mark, you seem very co-dependant. So while it is great that you are getting together with friends, it is still feeding into the co-dependancy.
Try to do things on your own. Just you. Read a book, take a walk, learn a new hobby. Spend time on your own.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I agree with Dmarie.
I think the "hobby" idea is awesome. What about taking up photography, painting, sketching, learning an instrument, maybe even taking some classes at a local university, volunteering somewhere, dog walking, etc...
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Thank you. I am codependent and I'm trying to break it. I need to learn how to function on my own.
Great ideas, everyone. Thanks! Keep em coming 
I'd sign up for Groupon or Living Social. They have a lot of great deals and specials on new activities that you might never have thought of before. Just today there was a BYOB painting class on Living Social for $25. It's both a hobby and a social activity. I find it easier to break into something new when I've paid for it or it's organized and I don't need to figure out how to do it.
- Read books and rent movies of my choosing
-Decorate my place in the way I want to without compromising another's taste
-Bake goodies and distribute
-Volunteer service since this makes me feel really good inside
-Gardening
-I recently took up dancing lessons with a friend - Bollywood and pole
-I might join the women's karate
Lots of things! I bake frequently, and I'm getting more into cooking. I read and write (though not as much as I should). I model, and I do hair and makeup for other photo shoots. I act -- I was just cast in a show that goes up this summer! I spend time cultivating friendships with the people who are most important to me. I'm learning to play the bass. I get a pedicure. I nap frequently. I take yoga. I enjoy beer.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Things I do for just me? Cooking! I absolutely love to cook, and try to find challenging recipes I've never made before. I will even do this when its just me at home and BF is gone.
Other things I do, taking our dogs for a long walk, watching the Netflix shows no one else wants to watch except for me, or even cleaning (I actually like cleaning, dishes, laundry- all of that, it relaxes me...hahahaha)
It's good to find things that are just for YOU. You will feel better once you do!
Like PP, I get a mani-pedi every 2-3 weeks. I get massages (even if it's just a chair massage at the local farmer's market). I go salsa dancing and/or take a dance class whether I have people to go with me or not. I go to the movies (I actually prefer to go alone.)
You know, when I first became single, I made a commitment to myself to take myself on a date at least once a week. I went to the movies a lot. I'd go to art openings, galleries and museums. I'd take myself to brunch, lunch or dinner. I'd check out the local newspaper for free or low cost events and find classes, book readings, or festivals. I found out that I could get half-off tickets to a local repertory theater, so I started going to shows. Maybe you can just commit to doing one thing by yourself every week. You may not love everything you try, but you might find something you really like.
The things I do just for me are yoga, baking, hiking, watching girly TV shows, reading, writing (trying to get into that more), and volunteering (with a couple different organizations). My time spent doing all this tends to ebb and flow between activities - right now most of my "me" time is spent volunteering with the Jr League in my area, whereas in the summer I tend to hike or take a book outside to get some sun.
The volunteering isn't usually "alone" time per se, but I'm around people who aren't close friends, and I'm always meeting new people and doing different things.
I like MCC's suggestion of looking at Groupon and Living Social (and whatever other promotionals there are along those lines) to see what interests you. They have a lot of fun things available - and bonus that they're discounted!
One thing I do that may be good for you during this time is journaling. I love to just write about what is going on, what is in my head, how I am feeling, really anything. Then I can reflect back when I am having a bad day, etc. I hand write at home just for myself to read.
I also love to grab a book and go to a coffee shop.
Take walks with my pups.
I do a piyo class twice a week for core strength.
Watch girly movies/TV shows my H doesn't like with a glass of wine.
Massages/mani/pedis for some pampering.
Eat lunch at this crappy Restaurant that no one but me likes (They are the only place in my town with Persian food and I am addicted to Kubideh kabobs). I always bring a book, though, in case a stranger gets the idea to talk to me. LOL.
I run a lot. A lot. And I ended up joining a running group and have met friends that way.
I also started knitting and made hats and scarves for my nephews and other loved ones. I need to finish this last scarf and start a blanket already
I really enjoy reading and could spend hours with a good book.
I've started making it a point to go to every street fair/ food and wine festival/ community event in my city. I've learned about a lot of cool small restaurants and shops that way, and have gone to free days at galleries, etc.
I go to the beach with my dogs.
I actually do WAY less baking than I did at the end of my marriage, when I think I was just trying to busy myself. I enjoy it, but have a small kitchen and I'm no longer as motivated. But I do like trying out new recipes.