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Ugh...

My brother is STILL unemployed.  As you may recall, he has UC and went through a good bout of depression.  He thought it was a fantastic idea over a year ago to quit his awesome job (with benefits) to take time off and try to get well.  His employer knew and understood his medical condition, but yet, my brother still quit.

He lived off of his savings for nearly a year, but that has all come to an end.  I found out that my parents have been paying his rent and other bills for few months now.  The kid will be 29 this summer. 

He seems to have his medication and health (mental and physical) under control, so I don't know what the problem is.  I have been emailing him job listings for weeks, but he seems to be holding out for one that doesn't exist without a college degree.

So frustrated.

Re: Ugh...

  • imageMrs.AngelaA:

      I found out that my parents have been paying his rent and other bills for few months now.  The kid will be 29 this summer. 

    He seems to have his medication and health (mental and physical) under control, so I don't know what the problem is. 

    The problem is that your parents are taking care of him. Why would he be motivated for finding a job when he doesn't HAVE to work because because Mom and Dad are bailing him out?

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  • imageapples09:
    imageMrs.AngelaA:

      I found out that my parents have been paying his rent and other bills for few months now.  The kid will be 29 this summer. 

    He seems to have his medication and health (mental and physical) under control, so I don't know what the problem is. 

    The problem is that your parents are taking care of him. Why would he be motivated for finding a job when he doesn't HAVE to work because because Mom and Dad are bailing him out?

    Nailed it!  I think my parents still feel guilt over the divorce and his reaction to it.  They got divorced like 15 years ago.  I also think they feel bad for him because of his UC and this is their way of "helping".  My family is messed up.

  • Brothers are annoying.
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  • imageSLouWE:
    Brothers are annoying.

    He is also the baby of 3 kids, so that doesn't help.  Stick out tongue

  • imageMrs.AngelaA:
    imageapples09:
    imageMrs.AngelaA:

      I found out that my parents have been paying his rent and other bills for few months now.  The kid will be 29 this summer. 

    He seems to have his medication and health (mental and physical) under control, so I don't know what the problem is. 

    The problem is that your parents are taking care of him. Why would he be motivated for finding a job when he doesn't HAVE to work because because Mom and Dad are bailing him out?

    Nailed it!  I think my parents still feel guilt over the divorce and his reaction to it.  They got divorced like 15 years ago.  I also think they feel bad for him because of his UC and this is their way of "helping".  My family is messed up.

    For a second I thought I sounded harsh- but it's true. I actually can't say I blame him- why work when you get the milk delivered for free? (or something along those lines ;)

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  • imageMrs.AngelaA:

    imageSLouWE:
    Brothers are annoying.

    He is also the baby of 3 kids, so that doesn't help.  Stick out tongue

    I don't know.  Mine is five years older than me and still acts like the world, and the family, revolves around him.

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  • ugh, indeed.  

     

    I sure hope that he realized he isn't doing himself any favors by being coddled, especially as an adult being coddled by your parents.     I really hope he can get his stuff together and find a job that makes him happy, isn't stressful to affect his UC, and where he can cut those financial ties to your parents.    That stinks!

     

    image
    imageimage
  • Yup, he doesn't have to work if your parents are footing all his bills. If they choose to stop enabling him, he will have to get his act together. This type of stuation is  common, yet it still boggles my mind.
  • imageNear_miss:
    Yup, he doesn't have to work if your parents are footing all his bills. If they choose to stop enabling him, he will have to get his act together. This type of stuation is  common, yet it still boggles my mind.

    Yes, yes, and yes. Sad

    b34ad4a8
  • I'm 23, and it took a lot to ask my mom to let me stay with her temporarily... and I cannot WAIT to get back into my own place. I can't imagine my parents supporting me at 29, unless it was an extreme circumstance.

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  • It is a sad situation and I hope everyone figures out what is best for him is for him to stand on his own two feet.

    He asked me and Jer for money and I said no way.  I did offer to cook him dinner though.

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