Starting Over
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Poll: What helped you through...

your separation/divorce.[Poll]
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Re: Poll: What helped you through...

  • I voted all of the above, but I will say try to drink wine in moderation.  There were many nights that I drank way too much when I was going through my divorce.
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  • Sounds so cliche but time alone, really.  Especially because I was never ok with being by myself.  Books and therapy helped a ton too. 
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  • I voted all of the above but it was really sex, wine, my therapist, exercise and work.  In that order.
  • I selected friends but truth is "new" friends.  I enjoy the new energy and it was nice to enjoy time with people that are not bringing up my heartache.

    Therapy is huge for me as well.

  • I think what helped me most was my therapist, a PhD Psychologist. He told me that I would only find the right person for me when I  was happy being on my own. He said when you are happy with yourself, on your own you will find the kind of person you want and not the kind of person a needy, lonely person will accept. I was with my first husband for 25 years and married for 17 of them. He passed away. I remarried someone who promised me everything and wanted to adopt my children. We dated for 9 months, lived together for 6 months and after 8 months of marriage he decided he changed his mind about wanting to be a step-parent. I was devastated. It has made me very cautious about dating. I finally feel strong enough to try to date again. I have spent 3 1/2 years recovering from this divorce. I am a whole person on my own who would now like to find someone to share my life with in a way that adds something to my life.
  • I voted family but could have voted all of the above. I drowned myself in books and wine. Cheap romance books then self help books. I waited until after my divorce was final for therapy becuse I needed to work things out alone first. I exercised a lot as well which helped w the anger. Good friends stood by me but I didn't talk much about things. Just knowing there were there if I wanted to talk was enough.  

    My family went above and beyond for me though. They took me in, supported me emotionally, gave me space when i needed it and drank with me when i wanted company. The first thing I did after filing was go for massages with my mom. She is amazing.  

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  • I said exercise, and I think it was exercise and my dogs. I spent a lot of time alone, but since I had them, I was forced to to go out and, at the very least, walk. I went to the park, went hiking, went to the beach, talked to my neighbors. Training for a half marathon gave me something to work towards. 

    Therapy helped, especially at first (even the guy I sit next to at work knew it helped) but then sort of became venting sessions, and that's when I knew I was ready to move on.  

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  • My counselor has been really, really helpful.  My family, too.  And the nest.  I've journaled a bit and that was helpful as well.
    The day I left was just my beginning.
  • I chose none of the above, which isn't entirely true.  It was a combination of all of the above, but the biggest thing that got me through was my counselor.  The lady was seriously awesome and a life saver!!!!  I've thought about sending her a thank you note just to let her know how much she helped me.

    ETA:  Oh, and time.  Time is a big healer.

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  • I chose Friends, but my son has honestly helped me the most. Days where I wanted to just cry, I had to put that aside and get out of bed and take care of him. Having him forced me to keep going.
  • sex, therapy, books, music, anxiety meds, friends, knowing I need to move forward for the sake of my son.

    "How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
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