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This makes me sad. (Kinda long)
Back story: My grandma lives in an assisted living apartment. She moved in last May, and loves it. She has a small apartment (bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen) and LOVES the social aspect and having some independence. She turned 90 right before Christmas.
The house she lived in prior to assisted living was the house my dad grew up in. My grandpa was a carpenter and built the house 65 years ago. When she moved into assisted living, she kept the house, since she obviously couldn't take everything with her and she owns the house outright. The house has a lot of emotional and sentimental value. We spend EVERY Christmas there (even since before I was born - I'm one of the younger grandkids).
A few weekends ago, dad mentioned to me that his mom started mentioning having the kids and grandkids splitting up the stuff in the house, since it is all just sitting there. Fine, makes sense. There is some furniture and the like that didn't fit in the apartment, isn't being used etc. There is only one or two small things I would like (mostly sentimental) but I'm worried I won't get them. There are 4 kids and 14 grandkids. There are only 3 grandkids younger then me, so I'm worried they will go down the line by age and I won't get anything that means anything to me. I told dad I wanted the quilt rack my grandpa made (because DH's mom is making us a quilt out of the table runners from our wedding, and I want a way to display it. Plus, since grandpa made it, it has a lot of emotional value.)
This is what makes me the most sad. I just talked to my mom. Apparently my dad and his sisters are meeting this weekend to determine a gameplan putting the house on the market. My grandma has a guy who has been her financial guy since before grandpa died (in 2000). She is financially well off and has the $ for the assisted living, but apparently it is mostly in annuities and isn't available as a liquid asset. Which means she needs to sell the house.
It makes me sad, because I love that house. If I lived closer and DH and I could find jobs there, I would take the house. It just makes me realize that grandma is 90 years old, and isn't getting any younger.
I'm just bummed about it all.
Re: This makes me sad. (Kinda long)
That's such a hard situation. We are going through the same thing with my grandparents' house. My grandmother died on Halloween 2009, and my grandfather died in Nov 2010. After she died, my dad had to move in to take care of my grandfather full time (except when he went to work) and I spent a lot of time there helping my dad and just basically supporting him. I also spent at least one night there so my dad could sleep at home.
So while I was always close to my grandparents it moved to a whole new level with my grandfather. It was so hard to have to place him in a nursing home after a while, and going through their things is never easy. The plans with the house are still up in the air now, but I can't imagine not being able to go to the house I basically grew up in when I was little. I can still feel the breeze and hear the leaves rustling from when I sat on their porch reading, writing, painting, whatever. I miss it
As far as having the things that mean the most to you, I would speak up and let people know how much it would mean to you to have those things. Even if someone wanted it because they like it, if they realize you have a real wish to have it and a purpose for it, they might take that into consideration. Hang in there.
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Oh I'm sorry honey
That's such a tough situation, and I can totally relate. The same thing happened when my Great-Grandmother went into Assisted Living. I had to go with my Grandparents to look through the things that were left and I bawled for a week.
It was awful to have to go through, and I often said if I were able to I would've bought that house.
I'm sending you my love and thoughts to get through this hard time. Hang in there.<3
BFP # 1 - 4/1/2012
Jonah Alexander is here! ? Born @ 39w3d on 12/7/12