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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
hey mommies- did u use a doula?
I was considering a career change eventually as a midwife or doula. I figured I would start first as a doula before considering becoming a midwife to see if it were something that would interest me. Did you have a doula during your pregnancy or know someone who did? Is it common in your area? What were your impressions?
Re: hey mommies- did u use a doula?
I did, and she was amazing. I think it is really big amongst my friends, but we are into natural birth and midwifery so it goes hand in hand I think. I think being either would be awesome, but they are very different since doulas don't do anything medically
That is why I would want to start as a doula. In France, I would be looking at 6 years of studying, which I am not comfortable committing to if I have never even been in a delivery room previously. I figured that as a doula, I would work hand in hand with a midwife and could see more easily if her job would interest me later.
Another question though: Do you think I should wait to have my own child before attempting to become a doula? I noticed on the site, most doulas already have birthed children. Is that an integral part to it? Or would it matter if your doula had never been pregnant?
I didn't have a doula and don't know of anyone who did. I don't know if they're just not common in Germany or whether it's the case with my friends. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to it, although I already see an OB, a high-risk OB, and a midwife, so adding another person would feel like a little overkill to me.
For me, whether the doula had already had her own children wouldn't be the first criterion, but it would be a factor. On the one hand, it could actually be negative because if she had a med-free birth then she might believe it would be possible for any woman and would push her client to not get meds even if the client decides she wants it at some point (that wouldn't be an ideal doula, but I could imagine some might be like that). On the other hand, knowing that she has gone through it and knows what it's like would be immensely reassuring. So - for me it would be an issue, but a small one. If you were otherwise qualified, compassionate, experienced, and willing to support me whatever my decisions might be (within reason), then it wouldn't stop me from hiring you.
It would not matter to me if you hadn't had children. My ob who delivered quint was single and childless but i knew she had experience and education and never thought twice about it.
Also I did not use a doula last night but husband and I were talking about it and think it is a good idea if you have a lot of things you want to dictate in your delivery.
Bio
They don't always. Some do both, some are just labor doulas and some are post partum doulas.
I actually think I would prefer one who has had kids, but if I really clicked with someone who hasn't I wouldn't rule it out. And I would say anyone who isn't planning on going med free wouldn't get much out of a doula
They don't always. Some do both, some are just labor doulas and some are post partum doulas.
I actually think I would prefer one who has had kids, but if I really clicked with someone who hasn't I wouldn't rule it out. And I would say anyone who isn't planning on going med free wouldn't get much out of a doula
I think it depends. Here in Germany you find a midwife to come. State insurance pays for 16 visits, usually progressively spaced out from the time you come home from the hospital until about 4 months PP.
I talked to a few doulas and didn't think whether they'd been through childbirth or not was as big a deal as whether we "clicked" or not. I ended up going with a practice of 4 doulas, none of whom had ever given birth themselves. So, no, I don't think you should wait.
I dont' know anyone here who's had a doula. I considered it, but it was too expensive for us. Most people here use family - I think they're more traditional in that sense.
I don't think I would chose a doula who hadn't had a baby. For me, a doula would be about having someone additional to H support me - in place of my mum or sister. And having my mum or sister was all about having someone who'd beenthere and done that to guide and coach me.
I've often thought, bar the shift work, I'd love to be a midwife. I never thought about being a doula. Sadly, my lack of UK license would be a problem! It sounds fab though!
I also don't know anyone who's had a doula, but I can tell you that I have a ton of respect for midwives. I feel like I've gotten so much support from them, and in a different way - I don't know, more compassionate or holistic, maybe - than a pediatrician.
The midwife who assisted me in the delivery room was fantastic and had never had children. I wouldn't let that stop you.
My midwife with ds in London was a man, so he definitely hadn't had kids. And my midwife in Atlanta with dd has never had kids, and they were both awesome.. For me though a doulas role is different, and I can see how the experience of having gone through birth would be helpful.
A doula came and visited my birthing class and DH and I talked about it. He thought it would be good in case he couldn?t get there. But we ended up not doing it because it was going to be 500-600 Euros out of pocket. And in the end, it wouldn?t have been all that worth it since my labor was so short and I don?t know how soon she could have gotten there.
For me, I think I would prefer someone who has been in labor just to know where I?m coming from. but that?s just my preference.
Thanks ladies! Anna, I will take you up on that whenever you get some free time. I probably wouldn't make a change any time soon because I want to research the demand for doulas in paris as well.
I don't know what the rules are like in hospitals in France, but here in Spain absolutely no hospital allows more than one support person in the room for labor and birth. My hospital was an exception because I used a "natural" room that you have to pay extra for. Anyway, you should look into that. I do know that there are doulas working here in Spain, but they only attend home births OR are there to support women who have no other support which is another good option for you. Just something to think about.
To answer your question I did not pay a doula, but my mother is a doula and she acted as mine. It was wonderful and I think if I had not had my mom I would've appreciated having a doula even though my H was very hands-on and wonderful. I agree that I would probably prefer a doula who had her own children (just being honest) but like frlcb I wouldn't rule out a childless doula if I felt very comfortable with her.
Good luck! It's something I'm considering doing in the future too so I'd be interested in whatever you find out/decide to do! Keep us updated!
Haven't delivered baby yet. But we have hired a doula.. DH likes the fact that he'll have that extra person there for support. So far we've really liked what we've heard about doula's etc. and are super happy with ours.
I don't think it's super common but there is a few around. I do think it is getting more and more popular.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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