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Is this real life? I married an abusive psycho.
I moved away from my husband almost two months ago, and I felt happy and safe. Tonight I was out, and my H had been waiting for me for god knows how long since I had been at the place for five hours or so. He saw a male friend walk me out to my car and kiss me. He then followed me home and started banging on my car window before I even had my car in park. I tried to talk to him rationally, but he was angry and irrational and he choked me.
I am still in shock. I can't believe this happened. It f*cking came out of nowhere and I never saw it coming. It happened more than three hours ago and I'm still shaking.
Shortly after he left my house I called the police. I went down to the station with the officer and filed a police report, and signed the warrant for his arrest. Because he choked me it's a felony charge.
Ironically this is the same thing that happened to my friend only a week ago, and the main thing that helped me be strong was the words I told her.
H just totally f_cked up his life. He is in the military and was set to deploy in just a few short months. I guess we'll see how that goes.
I can't believe this is my life right now.
Re: Is this real life? I married an abusive psycho.
Wow! I am so sorry!
I am glad you went to the police. Please be sure you stay safe. Stay with someone else if you need to, and don't ever be with him alone again. If he follows you, drive to a police station. Consider staying with a friend or relative.
Also, see if there is a domestic violence assistant in the prosecutors office. They can give you advice or support. Or call a local dv hotline, explain what happened, and see if they can provide you with legal support or therapy.
Thank you for your responses. MCC, I'm sure he's in custody already. The officers had located the house where he was staying with his friend before I even made it down to the station. They knew he's not living in the area so they wanted to pick him up before he left. He has to stay in jail for 12 hours, and they will call me when he posts bail.
Wahoo, the thing that sucks is that I'm rarely ever alone. Both of my roommates just happened to be gone for the night, and my male friend just happened to stop by the place where I was hanging out which caused this to escalate in this first place.
I wonder if he hadn't even seen me with that guy if he would have just left and I never would have known that he was watching me.
I will definitely call about therapy. I need help coping. I'm definitely sure of my decision to divorce now, but I never wanted to believe that my husband may try to physically harm me. Obvs I've got some issues.
the best thing you can do is stay alert and continue therapy. Can you keep some mace in your purse or something that might help you feel safer?
My ex stalked me too....on my phone's GPS too. I changed my number as soon as I could and avoided all contact with him..easy enough since there were no kids involved. But it was scary...he even left me a creepy VM when I was vacationing in FL telling me what street I had just been on.
Take care of yourself and call the police if you suspect anything out of the ordinary. I assume you will get a protective order from this?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Thank you, everyone. I carry pepper spray on my keychain, and I'm also a carry permit holder so I actually have a firearm in my purse at all times. Lot of good either of those things did me last night, though.
Also, I've already got an order of protection. When he is released and he goes home, the police will go to his house and seize all of his firearms as well.
Part of me is glad this happened. I am sure that I made the right decision, and I will be glad to put all of this behind me.
Holy smokes. I'm glad you're safe.
You might consider changing phone providers, if you and he are still on one plan; he can track you through your phone. Also, see if there is a GPS in your car; he can track you through that as well. See if there are any listening devices in your home, and have your computer checked out to see if there are any key logging or other snooping programs installed. Your h sounds like he's completely flipped.
He has definitely flipped. We are on separate cell plans, but can he still track me through my phone? I just bought my computer only a few weeks before I moved out, and it's been in my possession most of the time, so I doubt that's it either. One of my friends though mentioned a GPS on my car, and I'm wondering if that's possible. I'm due for an oil change, so I will probably mention it and get those guys to give my car a good once-over.
Also, my house has an alarm and I know that he doesn't know the code, so I don't feel like that's an issue. I really think that he may have followed me from home to my hangout, and waited there for... five hours?! Any way you think about it is psychotic.
I'm at a friend's house right now. I've already talked to all my good friends about it and we are so skeeved out. I'm very happy to have such great friends.
If he knows your password/pin no, or is an authorized person on your account (or ever was, for that matter) he can (or could have when he was authorized)had GPS put on your phone. I'd just call the phone co. and ask if it's on your phone through them.
I would still have your computer checked out. It's one way the ex of a client of mine was able to track her for over two years; he had some sort of keylogging program installed, and another one that, whatever email she got or sent, he got a copy of sent to him at his email. It's findable on your computer, if it's there.
((hugs)) ((more hugs))
I'm so sorry this happened to you. But I'm SO glad you got away, and I'm SO glad you signed the arrest warrant. Please don't go back to him!
It sounds like you still live nearby, is it possible for you to move farther away from him? How about a restraining order / order of protection?
I don't live nearby. His house is 200 miles from mine. He said he was in town visiting a friend on his long weekend; last week he was asking if he could see me and I told him I didn't think it was a good idea. I didn't even think about him coming anyway, and I certainly didn't think about him stalking and assaulting me.
I've got an order of protection already. He'll be in jail until this evening, and then he's not supposed to contact me. He's already going to be in trouble at work (military), so I'm hoping he will go straight home when he gets out. The officer said they would call me and let me know when he is released so I can have a heads up.
I'm definitely not going back to him. If anything, it has only 1000% confirmed my decision to leave him. I don't deserve his _shit.
good. It sounds like you have your head on straight, remarkably so for someone in your situation. I'm glad. All that's left is T's and P's! And you've got em!
Thank you!
) I never thought I would be in this situation ever. Ironically, it helped me to remember how I felt about my friend last week and the words of advice I gave her. I even told the officer that I was just doing what I would tell any one of my friends to do. He was really reassuring and encouraging that I was doing the right thing.
Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. It makes me sad to think about telling my parents this, but I have to in case he tries to call them or go by their house. At this point, I'm not willing to put anything past my H. I'm just not looking forward to the conversation.