Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Please tell me it gets easier!
Mostly a lurker here, I posted an intro about a month ago, but this is my first post since then. I told my H in early January that I wanted a divorce. We've still been living together as we sort everything out. I'm moving out this coming weekend, and it's just making everything very real now.I know that this is for the best, but it's still really hard, and it just hurts. It doesn't help at all that I've had to watch him just going out with his friends constantly, and seemingly not being affected by this at all. I know it will be better for me when I'm not so aware of what he's doing. We are still on good terms, and hope to remain friendly. I have a step-son that I've helped raise for the last 7 years, and I adore him, and want to stay a part of his life. I'm just really scared right now of how things are going to be once I move out. I'm scared of losing my step-son, and losing a friend in my H. They are the only family I have in this country, I do have some great friends, but no family. Any words of encouragement that things will get better would greatly appreciated!
11/20/2011 1/2 Marathon 2:20:25
12/4/2011 1/2 Marathon 2:16:19
12/11/2011 1/2 Marathon 2:15:53
Re: Please tell me it gets easier!
It gets better. I'm sure it will get a lot better once you've moved out. Definitely see a therapist if you're not already. Mine has helped SO much.
Good luck!
It will get better. Also, you have to remember that people process things differently. Since you're friendly and still living together, your H might not truly believe this is happening. The first month H and I separated, I was going out with my friends constantly. I'm sure he thinks I've been very flippant and glib about the whole thing, but really, it was party of my grieving process. Since then, I've spent a lot of time alone, being sad, working on myself etc.
I agree with the PP who suggested therapy. My therapist has helped me overcome SO much. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to your friends. Good luck and stay strong.
I does get better. Be patient. You'll do 2 steps forward and 1 step backward but in the end, you'll go forward.
We are in a similar situation. I have no family here since mine is in Europe (don't want to be too specific, you never know who is lurking!) It makes me quite anxious but I know that I'll always have the option to go back if I want to. I think right now you have a great opportunity to build your life here. Making your own friends, joining new groups... I know I relied too much on XH's social network because it was the easier solution at the time.