August 2009 Weddings
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So... my Monday dramarama and a slightly related pg question

...aforementioned sister is currently refusing to talk to either my friend or myself. I tried to give her an out of the situation by taking the responsibility (I basically said that if I wasn't in so much pain, I'd be up for entertaining, but I am, so it is what it is. I don't mind feeling like crap in front of people I've known for ages, but I DO mind feeling awful in front of strangers). She's mortified, so she's being defensive and immature about it. She said she didn't realize it was an "event" to go over to my place for dinner.

Honestly, I don't feel guilty about saying no to the random dude and being a bad host. I wish I was feeling more up to it, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. It's crazy how people hear the word 'no' and take it so personally.

I will follow this up with - what the heck do you do to relieve the relaxin induced joint pain? It feels exactly like how my knees feel when the bones grind together, and the only thing that works for that is advil, which is a) a no-no and b) temporary pain relief anyway. After going to the mall yesterday, I couldn't walk around the apartment without hobbling. It seems obvious that I need to strengthen my hip muscles, but I don't know how to do that without making things worse!

Re: So... my Monday dramarama and a slightly related pg question

  • I don't have any advice about the pain, but I wanted to give you a virtual high five for standing your ground. First of all, inviting someone to another person's house WITHOUT permission is rude as hell. Secondly, her behavior (note: I first typed 'behaviour' - damn Canadians getting to me!) since you told her 'no' further proves that the ritual should remain just between you & your friend. What an asshat. 
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  • She was definitely in the wrong to invite a guest to your house without asking you first. Like you said, she is probably really embarrassed and that is translating into resentment towards you and/or your friend. Anyway, I'm glad you realize that you have nothing over which to feel bad.

    As for your pain, I have no suggestions (except maybe pre-natal yoga? Yoga makes everything better for me! Or a heat pad?) but I hope you feel better soon! 

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  • I agree with the others. It was wrong for her to invite a guest without asking you first.  She'll get over it, and if she doesn't, no loss for you.  Seriously, she sounds like she needs to grow up.

     As far as the pain, I wish I could give you advice. I was in pain most of my pregnancy and the only thing that honestly temporarily helped me was laying on the couch with my feet up, even that got uncomfortable after a while.  I ended up keeping my walking around on cement floors very limited (that tended to increase the pain - aka a day of shopping).  I realized quickly all my shopping trips were no longer allowing time for browsing, and that I needed to go in with a list, stick to it, and get out.  It made for a long pregancy, but it was worth it in the end.

    Good luck, I hope you find relief soon.

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  • I'm usually in the camp of "the more the merrier", but not everyone is. Your friend should've known better.

    As for the pain, try doing butterfly stretches, but be careful not to stretch too far.  Also heating pad and warm baths. My doctor pretty much said tough sh*t when I asked about it. Pregnancy is such crap, but so worth it. ( I say this as Jackson swipes everything off my desk. haha) It'll be over before you know it...i promise.

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  • I'm in the same boat as you, and I hurt all the time now. Heating pads and hot baths are all that relieve me, at least for a little while.
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  • I'm feeling a bit badly, because they're (apparently) having a huge fight over this. I mean, I don't feel badly about the decision; I'm just sorry it made so much trouble for my friend.

  • How immature! You shouldn't feel guilty. You don't feel up for entertaining and this guy wasn't invited. It's your place and therefore your rules, end of story.

    No advice on the pain. Good luck!  

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