Does your SO work long hours?

dulcemariamar1 · February 2012

Would you take a pay cut if it meant that he would be home earlier? What % of his pay would you consider?

oneslybookworm · February 2012

Back home in the US, DH worked from 7am-5pm (normally). Obviously, there were occasions where days would go longer (maybe 6pm), but they were rare. Here...most days he goes in my 8am and gets home 6:30pm at the earliest, and quite often he's not home until 8-9pm, depending on the say.

Right now, I'm ok with it...but I think once we have kids, it would get old. I'd definitely be willing to take a pay-cut for him to be home more...I'd consider 20-30% paycut, if that meant he was still happy with his job.

kelly321 · February 2012

Yes, he does. And a pay cut? Haaaahahahaha. He already makes less than 50% of what the average person in his position does in Germany because he's at a church-affiliated organization. When we come back from his paternity leave, we're seriously considering him switching jobs to one that either has roughly the same hours with at least 50% higher pay (it would be difficult for him to work more since he's already working a minimum of 55, an average of 65, and a high of 75 hours / week), or a job with at least the same amount of pay but fewer hours.

I would be fine with what he's making if he were to work a standard 8-9 hour day, but this 14 hour day figures out to a ridiculously low hourly wage. Like, only about a euro an hour more than the nursing home assistants he hires, and he has a law degree.

This is a topic that really gets to me right now.

Edit: For clarification, he leaves for work around 5:45 am and gets home at 6:30 pm on really good days, 7:30 on average days, and 11pm-1am on really bad days.

The Irish Gal · February 2012

I work longer hours than he does... from around 7am to 5pm most days...

Would I take a pay cut to work fewer hours? It would be hard to do right now as I'm the main breadwinner and there aren't many other jobs out there at the moment and my current job wouldn't lend itself to being shorter hours on an ongoing basis...

Ideal world, yes, I'd take a pay cut to work fewer hours though that ideal world would also have dh earning more consistently and more (he's self employed)

dorothyinAus · February 2012

DH works 12-hour days on Mondays and Tuesdays, and 10 hour days Wednesdays and Thursdays. He is off on Fridays. I love that he is off on Fridays -- it means we have time to do things, take long weekends without using vacation days, and he has plenty of time to rest and relax before his long days come around again.

I would not want to take a pay cut for him to work shorter hours, because inevitable that would mean giving up three-day weekends. But I do know that he is worn out on Tuesday nights and exhausted by Thursday; maybe he would like different hours.

dulcemariamar1 · February 2012

Thanks! Right now my DH comes home at a decent time. However, he could get a better paying job if he was willing to work more hours. I just wanted to see what you laddies thought about the subject.

PittPurple · February 2012

Neither DH or I work long hours - we both work roughly 9-5. We have both chosen jobs that pay a bit less than we could make because having time together and with our friends is really important to us. We have talked about the future and if/when we have kids - it's important to us that one of us is home when they're babies so someone will have to get a job that pays more. We do absolutely fine now, but it's going to be more of a stretch with more people! As he has more education and makes a lot more than me now, logically I would stay home for a couple years and he would get a job in private industry somewhere (we both work at a university now).

Publius · February 2012

In Geneva he was working 10 hour days minimum. A lot of the time it was longer and it wasn't uncommon for him to go to work at 7 in the morning and not come home until 8 or 9 at night. Here he's at work by 7 in the morning but he leaves work by 4:30 at the latest. We know we're going to have to go back to Geneva and those hours eventually, but we're trying to stay here as long as possible.

little red buttons · February 2012

He works 7:30-4 { a bit later in the summer months } and we both love it. He's home by 4:30-5 every night and it just works out really well for our family. If he had a job where he had a long commute or had to work long hours, I would urge him to find something else.

amwallace · February 2012

DH works less hours than he did in the US which is really nice. He works 8-6 ish. He mostly works from home, so sometimes he takes a long lunch break or goes on a walk with us in the afternoons or sleeps in in the mornings. We see him throughout the day and he can help me if I really need it. The one thing I don't enjoy is that he goes on a lot of business trips. Between now and May, he is going on 5 or 6 trips, averaging a week long. As Georgia gets older, this is pretty difficult for me

I really don't know how single parents do what they do!

hamilton.ja · February 2012

Yes, he does. He leaves by 7am and is typically not home before 7pm, earlier than that is a miracle, later I s pretty standard. Plus he has school one night where he gets home around 11. At the moment no, we could not take a p ay cut for better hours. In his industry he's just string to make enough where soon he will be able to make someone else stay late while he comes home at a semi decent hour (meaning he leaves between 530-6 and is home at 630 or so). Weve survived the last few years and are just waiting for the day when we reap the rewards. It'll be a few more years yet, but it's getting easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel now.

GibbyLod · February 2012

He does, but by choice really since he is self-employed. He loves what he does. Hopefully, once we have kids he'll learn to delegate better and be home a bit more. But for now, it works for us.

anna7602 · February 2012

In the US, yes. This is part of the reason we jumped at the chance to come to Paris for a year. His hours here are significantly better. He is home most nights by 8pm and the occasional late night means 11 or 12. No weekends yet. At home, he was regularly working until 11 or 12 and a late night could be an all-nighter. Weekends were assumed and if he happened to have one off, he was so tired, we couldn't do very much as a family anyway. Planning vacation time was always stressful because it was always understood he might have to cancel at the last minute.

For us, it seems like if he wants to stay in the same profession, it's a matter of moving, not taking a pay cut. Moving to Paris made sense because we have the same lifestyle as NYC, more or less, in terms of not needing a car, having lots of food & cultural options, being able to travel easily to other places, people wanting to visit us often, meeting people from a variety of places, etc. But, coming here was a really unusual opportunity. I am sure if DH had to look for a job here from scratch, he wouldn't get anything close to the job he was offered for one year.

As much as DH's hours suck, I am not sure I am willing to trade in big city living for better hours long-term (and reduced work opportunities for myself as well as less exposure to the things I want DD to be raised around/with). I also think DH would not feel as challenged long-term.

Le big sigh. This is an ongoing debate chez nous.

MouseInLux · February 2012

DH works 8-5 in theory but normally is at the office until 6ish, he's coming home earlier now that DD's here. He finds it hard scaling back his work hours as he's on of the owners of the company. I would be happy for him to work less hours for less pay providing we could still support ourselves on his salary as I feel family time is important and he's also be less stressed (I'm presuming).

Sadly this won't happen any time soon

azure_azure · February 2012

He works a lot and pretty much 7 days a week because it's his own business. He travels quite a bit for work (I love those times!) "Luckily" he is working from home, so we eat all our meals together and he gets to spend time with M. Some days I wish he had a showroom so he would be out of the house more though! LOL.

Wouldn't take a pay cut for less hours.

VABeach08 · February 2012

H's works pretty normal hours.

As luck would have it, I work alot of (non-compensated) OT. I've tried to be more reasonable (fewer 7day weeks, etc), but I still put in way more time at work than I should. It's a thrill. Unfortunately, I earn slightly less than H and I still have some student loans (he doesn't), so no cuts for me.

NLfoodie · February 2012

H works slightly more hours a day than I'd like, the biggest issue is that he has a late start though. His hours are between Dutch and New York hours, and he's rarely home before 9pm. I hate it and we've had discussions/fights about it. His company has 2 owners and one of them (the one in his office) would be fine if he'd work normal hours. The other one is in NY and if he comes home at a normal time, she'll just keep skyping/calling/mailing/texting him all night. She truly is insane (she's called to wake him up at 3am once to fix something, while they do have people who could fix it in New York.

If we ever have kids he'll definitely start working less/more regular hours, but right now I'll just have to deal.

welshgirl · February 2012

He generally works 7:30-4, so is gone 7-4:30. It's not long hours, but not a lot of money. Occaisonally - say every 2 months, he's gone for a week. If the question were would you have him work longer hours if it meant more money, I would say perhaps, esp in a few years when the kids are older. Now it's great though.

Coffee&Cream · February 2012

Yes, my H works long hours. He typically leaves the house at 7:30 a.m. and gets back home anywhere from 8:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. His hours are actually better than they use to be as he has climbed up the chain of command and with better hours he has actually gotten better pay.

It is not about hours at work for us, but how much we enjoy our jobs. DH loves his job and deprives a great deal of enjoyment from his job, he doesn't mind the hours and when he wants to he can work at home. It works out well for us.

Anasara · February 2012

DH is a college prof so he doesn't work your typical 8-4/9-5ish hours. The pay isn't the best but the benefits are great & he loves what he does. My schedule is also kind of weird but that's kind of my own creation since my job is very flexbile which is helpful when dealing with infertility related appts.

ooolalalolo · February 2012

On a typical workday, DH leaves at 7:45 and is home around 6:45-7. However, he does fairly frequently have to stay later than that if problems come up, and his job involves lots of travel where he is working from 7:30-11 or even later, sometimes through weekends with no compensation as well. Those are tough times, especially as I bear the brunt of it. Mostly these hours are okay, especially during 'normal' weeks.

By comparison, I typically leave at 8 or 8:30 and get home around 6:30 or 7, but I also work from home for an hour or two each evening. When I work from home, my day is more 8-7. Travel can mean very long days or weekend work for me too.

We are scraping by and starting to finally be able to think about saving a relatively small amount each month, so it's really frustrating. We can't cut back, but I have considered whether I could make more at a different company.

ukyankee · February 2012

My DH refuses to work longer hours for more pay...he's a big fan of work-life balance and it makes me a very happy person to be able to have dinner with him or do other things.

stever · February 2012

DH works long hours but he works from home. So his day goes like - work 9-1,hang out with DS and I for a few minutes, sometimes take DS for a walk; work 1:30 to 7ish then have dinner with us and hang out for a few hours; finish up work as I put DS to bed and usually be done around 10.

allibally · February 2012

Technically, DH works less hours now then he did in Zurich. But with about a 90 minute round trip commute to work on the L it's taking him out of the home just as much.

He makes less money here too but that has a lot to do with the higher salaries you receive in Switzerland to offset the cost of living.

The trade off is his hours are more set and we have a month's notice of his schedule. In Switzerland he worked at a hotel and worked three different shifts. We only knew about 9 days in advance what schedule he was working. Plus his days off were irregular. He could work for 8 days and then have 1 day off, then work 4 days, then have 3 days off.

We would be better off financially if we went back to Switzerland and both had jobs. It's a Catch-22 for us. I know I would be happier if I was working consistently there but DH would want to move somewhere besides Zurich. Which pulls me away from potential jobs and social life.