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Losing Your Single Friends
This is really just a vent and I know we've all been there. In the past week BOTH of my go to single best friends have ended up in relationships (they'd been kinda dating off and on and our now official). I'll be honest this totally sucks and I hate it. I'm glad they've found someone, but now I don't have my favorite single people to hang out with. Gone are dinner and drinks, now it's lunch or brunch. No more after work happy hours past 6:30ish, because they need to get going to hang out with significant other. Much less communication and now I get the pity "Look I found someone!!! It's only a matter of time before you find one too, I'm SOOOO happy." I really hate it. I'm not a relationship person and I have zero desire to find "the one" I'd just like to date casually, but what I really enjoy is hanging out with my friends. I hate when your entire social life seems to change in an instant.
And yes, I realize I could find new friends, do meet-up blah, blah. But these are my friends going back 10 years, that's really hard to replace. Anyhow just a vent.
Re: Losing Your Single Friends
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I agree, I've had this happen to me....I had two girlfriends who were also divorced and childless and it was really fun getting together w/ them and then they met guys and I've seriously not hung out w/ them in OVER a year!! Weird.
But, I also see it from the other point of view: I was dating someone for about 2 months and I really had a hard time fitting him into my schedule because I've created this really full and busy life.....anyway, I found myself feeling super guilty if I was hanging out w/ him and not my other friends. I wasn't at the place to introduce him to my friends yet, so whenever I hung out with him, it was just he and I. Anyway, if we were still dating right now, he'd prob be meeting my friends soon and I'd see them a little more. But, one friend was annoyed 3 weeks ago when I had a date w/ him and not her, and I felt like saying "I've been single for 2.5 years and I met someone and I'd like to see him once this weekend since I haven't seen him since last Saturday....I've spent lots of time with you and I've earned the right to have a boyfriend now." but I didn't, I just blew it off. Now, I broke things off with him because I didn't see myself falling in love with him. But, I don't think my relationships w/ friends suffered too much because I continued to see them--but it was hard because I wanted to make time for him and them.
I don't think women should abandon all friends the way my other "friends" did to me, but I also feel like when you really fall in love with someone after being single for a long time, it's tempting to spend all your time with him, but you have to strike a balance. The guy I was dating, we didn't make enough time for each other and I feel like that contributed to me losing feelings for him. But, honestly, I don't know where else I could've found time for him...catch 22.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Hopefully they will settle into their relationships more and realize they need a life outside of their SO. It's not an easy realization, especially when it's so fresh. I completely understand where you are coming from. My BFF and I got divorced around the same time, no kids, no strings attached and we had a BLAST! Then she met her BF (now husband). I moved out of her house, he moved in....a couple of months later they were pregnant, a couple of months after their son was born they were engaged and married, now they are expecting number 2 in March! I missed her a lot in the beginning, now I'm just thrilled she's happy and has such a great relationship.
It took my BF and I a while to settle into a routine so that we had enough time for each other, as well as our friends. I'm glad we figured that out, because I do enjoy my time with my friends as well.
Ditto. It sucks that they change their hang out patterns because the have a SO.
I know exactly how you feel. As much as my coupled friends say that things won't or haven't changed, they have and will.
I am working on making new single friends, but it is HARD to form new friendships when you have had the same ones for years and years. You get used to those bonds and it is a lot of time, energy and work to build up new ones.
So basically, in a nutshell: I get you.
I find myself saying this ALL the time! lol