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I need a hug (longer than I expected, sorry) :(
I know no one's around on the weekend, but I have to work tomorrow anyway and I am feeling really, really down. The full story's in my blog if you want to read that, but the jist of it is that my body absolutely hates me.
I've been battling with weird spotting before my period for a while (like 7-9 days before my period) and have been working with my OB on a plan. Usually (TMI warning) it's brown and clotted-looking, but now it's bright red. Like on Friday we ran errands and I bled through my jeans. This morning I saturated a pantiliner in 20 minutes. It can't be my period because it's not due for over a week. I have no idea what's going on, but it's basically ruined my hope of being pregnant before my last due date on the 4th. Now we're going on vacation in May and talking about taking a break from TTC until then, to put me on BCP to try and "reset" my body, which breaks my heart to think about, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
May will mark two years since we started TTC and all we have to show for it is two surgeries, lots of medical bills, two angel babies and broken hearts. I feel like I've failed as a mother, as a wife, as a woman.
I'm calling my OB tomorrow for an appointment to figure out why I'm bleeding so much and hopefully come up with a plan. In the meantime, I feel really lost and sad. 
Anyway, I just had to get that out there. Any T&Ps for a good plan from my OB next week would be appreciated. I am really struggling with all of this.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Re: I need a hug (longer than I expected, sorry) :(
:big giant hugs:
You are far from a failure in anything! You are amazing and so very strong and I can't imagine facing the things you've been confronted with with half of the strength or grace you've handled them with.
Go to the doctor and see what he/she suggests and continue to move forward. We're all here for you.
*hug*
Stand up for something you believe in.
*giant hugs*
Sweetie, you are far from a failure. You have an amazing amount of strength and courage. I'm sorry that this time is so hard for you and it breaks my heart. Just know that you have an amazing husband by your side that loves you. We are always here for you - even on the weekends.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I agree with all others. You are NOT a failure, far from it. You are a fighter, and a stronger woman than most. I just wish you didn't have to face so many battles. I know you were just feeling really optimistic, so it sucks to be back to frustration so quickly. While a break is probably the last thing you want, maybe you could try looking at it as a break that will actually get you closer to the end result you want sooner. I hope the doctor can give you some answers. In the meantime, don't be so hard on yourself. Even the strongest people deserve some down days, but also focus on taking care of yourself in whatever ways you can. <<hugs>>
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
I had seen a RE in November as part of my repeat loss work-up. I had a SHG and some labs, and they basically said I'm normal and to use OPKs and they would be surprised if I weren't pregnant in 6-8 months. When I started spotting a lot in December I called their office and the nurse asked if I was pregnant. When I said no, she told me to call my OBGYN. Which, in talking to some of the girls on the 3T board, sounds kind of wrong. So I don't know what to do at this point. :-/
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Ya, that definitely doesn't sound right to me either. Once I started with a RE, I didn't see my OB for anything (the RE even did my paps).
Dx: Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism After 2 years TTC & failed IUs,we have our IVF baby born 9/24/11
LO#2 aka 'Miracle Baby' Orig. EDD= 9/28 EDD moved to 10/3/13
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
*Big Hugs*
You are absolutely not a failure! You are a strong, wonderful woman. Do not ever think anything different!
:Blog:
updated 10.03.12