Sex & Romance
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
poll: is being bitter a choice?
a lot came up in that post earlier about not calling people out for being bitter. maybe i'm arguing semantics, here, but i think that bitterness is a choice; a choice as to the way you process and handle the sh*t life chucks at you.
i'm intensely curious, and wonder if i'm in the minority about that. again...it bears repeating...i am NOT trying to create ANY drama, but am genuinely curious.
XP'ed from GP. trying to feel out the tones of the two (apparently, very different) communities.
[Poll]2012 Races:
Emerald Nuts Midnight Run (4m) 1/1/12
Coogan's Salsa, Blues, and Shamrocks Run (5k) 3/4/12
Colon Cancer Challenge (15k) 4/1/12
Purple Stride NYC (5k) 4/21/12
Run to Combat Autism (5k) 4/29/12
RnR Philadelphia (Half Marathon) 9/16/12
Emerald Nuts Midnight Run (4m) 1/1/12
Coogan's Salsa, Blues, and Shamrocks Run (5k) 3/4/12
Colon Cancer Challenge (15k) 4/1/12
Purple Stride NYC (5k) 4/21/12
Run to Combat Autism (5k) 4/29/12
RnR Philadelphia (Half Marathon) 9/16/12
Re: poll: is being bitter a choice?
I personally think that while people can't control their emotions, they can control how they express them. For example, I get irritated really easily in some situations and I lash out at my fiance. We would get in horrible fights. Then I took a look at myself and realized, "Hey, this guy isn't perfect, but he loves me and that should be enough." I still overreact at him sometimes, but I've learned to take a step back and see if it's really worth it. I've also learned to apologize, even though I hate being wrong.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is maybe the person can't help being bitter about something. But they are making the choice to take it out on others.
I didn't vote because i think it is a combo of many things.
I think some people have gone through an extra helping of bad things happening to them, and i think people can get worn down and eventually bitter.
I think some people have better coping skills that keep them positive longer.
I think that people's environment adds to the situation of how they perceive things.
Ive met people who have had miserable miserable things happen to them and they are so positive, and ive met people who have had 1 thing turn them into miserable people.
I can honestly say that I am not sure how to answer the poll. There are people who can be bitter and not even know it. There are also people that it was inherited from situations and places.
I am sorry I did not answer either.
This.
I think working in counseling makes me feel that emotions are extremely complex. I specialize in sa, cooccurring, and trauma. Many of the people I work with are very bitter. Some are by choice, honestly. A decision that they have been cheated in life. Others are by life circumstances whether it's mental health issues or situations in their lives.
For me, the most important thing is knowing you can change from being bitter if you make the effort. The entomology doesn't enpact the ability to choose a different life script.
these are the exact two things that make firmer my own decision that it IS a choice. you can choose to have better reactions to your situations. (is it easy to do so? hell no. but that's what therapy is for!)
Emerald Nuts Midnight Run (4m) 1/1/12
Coogan's Salsa, Blues, and Shamrocks Run (5k) 3/4/12
Colon Cancer Challenge (15k) 4/1/12
Purple Stride NYC (5k) 4/21/12
Run to Combat Autism (5k) 4/29/12
RnR Philadelphia (Half Marathon) 9/16/12
SS.
I think that in general, yes, we can change our attitudes to at least some degree. Sh*t happens, and we have to deal.
That said, if you turn yourself into a doormat and don't feel angry or bitter about truly awful things, you rob yourself of opportunities to make change. I for one take lingering negative feelings as a sign that I need to be doing something different so I don't feel this way again.