This must be second chance week...Would you give these guys another chance?
- Dude #1: you cancel your planned date because something he texted rubbed you the wrong way. He asks for a second chance to prove "he's not a ***". He says he's "really a nice guy"
- Dude #2: You go on a first date, it goes really well. You really like him (a lot) and want to see him again. He cancels date #2 at last minute because his friend's house gets broken into and he needs to go there b/c the friend's wife and kids are freaked out and his friend is out of town. Okay, understandable... he's a good friend. We were supposed to get together tonight and now he has food poisoning. He wants another chance. He even offered to still get together even though he is sick if it means I won't give him another chance.
And bonus question, is it a red flag if a guy puts in his profile: "I have been told in my past that I move to fast. Maybe that is a problem but I think if someone has feelings for someone you should go after it."
Re: WWSOD? Second chances? Third chances?
#1- totally depends on what he said.
#2- ugh, I don't know. I'd be tempted to make him show up tonight, lol.
YES, that's a red flag.
#1-This is why I think texting and phone talking before hand can be a bad thing sometimes. If I had nothing better to do, I might go out with him but wouldn't go out of my way to make plans. If he says something stupid in text or phone again, no bueno.
#2-Gets another chance--can't control a break in and viral issues. If he cancels again, no bueno.
Bonus-it goes 50/50 about being honest and self aware to being a red flag waving freak. I'm thinking he's a self aware Stage 5 Clinger who doesn't give a rats asss about it. If he said this on a date, it might be a bit more salvagable, but in a profile, it's no bueno for me.
Apparently I speak Spanish now. What's "yay" in Spanish?
Hmm... honestly , there is not enough information for me to give any full answers.
1. Depend what he says... follow your gut on this one. Though, keep in mind that often email and text does not give out tone so it is easy to take the message the wrong way. But really, it depends on what he texted that rubbed you the wrong way.
2. LIfe happens! A friend house broken I (especially when it involves a mom and her children, I get freaked out when I hear sounds I don't understand and get really scared) and food poisoning are very valid reasons unless you think he is not telling the truth. Personally, I would wonder why the woman had to call her husband?s friend; does she not have family in the area to help?
3. Well at least he gave fair warning? Meh, he comes off as desperate to me and I would take it that he is not taking his time to find the right relationship but rather find the first girl that will get serious with him. Or he is trying to say that he wants you in bed right away.
Eh, if he doesn't have kids, he might just not understand the whole deal about getting a sitter. Although it's kind of a dickmove that he expects you to go to him, whether you have kids or not. So yeah, that would probably turn me off.
dude 1: Maybe I would go out with him IF he drove all the way to your part of town. But that's a huge maybe. He didn't want to meet in the middle on the first date? Not good at all. Actually, I don't know if I would give him a second chance. That's just rude!
dude 2: Yeah, I would give him another chance.
re: Dude who moves "to" fast. Bad grammar/spelling is a big pet peeve of mine, so I would honestly probably pass on him just based on that alone.
1. Is this for a first date? If so, it does not sound like a guy who would try hard to woo you. That sounds selfish on his part and I would say "next"
If just meeting for coffee for first initial meet-up with no date expectations...I kind of go back and forth on this.
# 1 I agree...he sounds selfish...that would rub me the wrong way and you shouldn't have to prove that you're "not as a$$" BEFORE the first date already??!!
#2...meh...I'd give it a chance? Can't hurt. Just make sure he doesn't expect you to cater to him like date #1.
And date #3...if he has to say that in a profile, then there's more to the story. Giving the SO track record with stalker dates, I'd steer clear.
Yea, now that I think back that wasn't his only asshole_move either. Fuckhim
Dude #1 - No, and especially no after your update. He sounds like an inconsiderate douchenozzle.
Dude #2 - Yes, though I agree w/ PP that if he cancels a third time I'd cut him loose.
Bonus - When I started dating again I tried to be really conscious of NOT going fast, so that would be a red flag for me.
Dude #1 - No! How selfish! And cool people can find fun whereever they go. A first date should be something like coffee, dessert, a casual dinner - - it shouldn't matter WHERE you are or how "hip" the place is.
Dude #2 - I had my house broken into while DH was away. I went to my parents home b/c I did not want to be in the house (which had a busted door, broken glass window, etc.). Our neighbors babysat my kids while I walked through the house with the police....people were really nice and supportive. I actually think this was really great of dude#2 (although I don't think I would have had a friend of DH at my house, but who knows if I didn't have family).
Not sure of what to make about the "fast" comment, but considering that women on this board agonize over whether or not guys have kissed them by a certain date, maybe that is something that needs to be addressed in dating nowadays.
I completely agree with this! These guys are crazy lately!