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A little mortified...
Let me preface this by saying that today would have been my 6 year anniversary, if that can somehow make up for the temporary lack of judgement.
Okay, so last Friday night I went on a date with a 29 year old, I am 35. My boss and one of his co-workers set it up. We work for the same institution, but totally different departments. So, we met at the restaurant 15 minutes away for each of us, conversation flowed, and we decided to go to a pub afterward for 2 drinks. We met at 7 and stayed until 1:30. Before I got home, he text me thanking me for having dinner with him and that he had a really good time, and I text back when I got home that I had a great time too. He said that we should plan to do something together again. He text me that Saturday afternoon, nothing on Sunday, then text me Monday night. Tuesday he went out of town for a conference until Thursday night. I didn't hear from him, but text him Tuesday morning just saying, "Happy fat Tuesday. Have a safe drive to (conference)." He text back, and that was all we texted that day. Wednesday was his birthday (now 30), so I just sent a "happy birthday" text, and he sent back a "thank you." I didn't hear from him on Thursday at all, then Friday morning he text me at 8 a.m. I didn't text back until about 6:30 last night because I was super-busy at work, but then I was feeling insecure that I had sent two texts in a row, and really didn't hear much from him the whole conference. We text for awhile last night, until I was meeting up with friends at 9 p.m.
Onto the drama...this morning, I woke up and had a crazy idea that maybe I should see if he wants to have dinner tonight. I text him around noon just to see how his night was and to see what he had planned for today/tonight. He text back what he had done all morning, what he was doing this afternoon, and said he hadn't thought about tonight yet, and asked how my night was. So I text back that I had a fun night with my friends, and that I was just at lunch with another friend and we were going to do some shopping. Then I said, "would you like to come to (my town) and grab dinner at (name of restaurant) and maybe a drink afterward?" He text back that tonight probably won't work, but that if I wanted to meet up another night this week, before I leave for my trip (I leave Friday) he would be down for that. So then I texted back, "Guess this is probably a sign that I should work on my 30 page paper, then" (I am in grad school). He texted back, "No procrastinating now!" And that was that.
I am completely embarrassed that I totally stepped outside of my comfort zone, with the prodding of my very good friend because I do everything by the book (with very good reason), and got rejected! I can't believe that I asked a guy out. That seems so unfeminine (a word?), and I did it. I am so humiliated that he turned me down, when a text before he had no plans as of yet! So completely mortified!
As an aside, I was feeling very insecure about the age thing. I don't think that I want children, and considering my age, I am about 90% sure of this. I feel that I need to date someone older, so this isn't really an issue. Also, I all of a sudden became completely aware of my crows feet, and aging in general, and this was completely magnified when this guy came into the picture. I am very attracted to him, but almost felt relief when he turned me down, because now I can be completely done with it, and wait for my (older) prince charming to come along...
Sorry this was so long!
Re: A little mortified...
I'm still waiting to hear why you were mortified (I was waiting for the vibrator fell out of purse, or shirt buttons were accidentally open all night kinds of ending)
Honestly, it's no big deal
See if he txs you about that dinner : go! if he doesn't ... then oh well(good for you for trying... and good luck with the next one)
Yeah, me too. What exactly was the mortifying part??
i don't get why you are mortified. he can't meet up tonight, but did say that one night this week would work. soooo, you weren't rejected. he just wants to pick an alternate day. and you ignored this and started talking about your paper...
I'm also totally confused what's mortifying about this. From the above conversation you actually asked him out, he technically said yes (just proposed a different day) and then you changed the subject. When he said how about next week before your trip why didn't you reply back with "Great! How about (insert date that works for)." I'm sure he's just thoroughly confused now.
I agree with everyone else- I don't understand why you're mortified!
I guess I don't do it by the book because I made first contact with BF and even asked him out for our first date... I am SO glad that I did because 1.5 years later we are happy, living together and planning a future together. I might have missed out on someone super awesome if I had waited for him to contact me! I think it's great that you asked him to dinner and even though he can't tonight he did not totally blow you off or ignore you! Hopefully you'll be able to plan something during the week before you go out of town!
Relax. RELAX!
Let go of the age thing. Let go of the fact that last minute Saturday night plans didn't pan out. Let go of the fact that you did the asking. None of this matters -- unless you obsess over it and let it ruin what sounds like a potentially promising and fun thing.
Seriously. This is fine.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.