Tell the truth?

MintChocoChip · February 2012

I had a 3rd date last night and the guy is super nice and funny but we just dont have any chemistry. Sometimes its easier when they're jerks because I know he thinks we have a good thing going and after we messed around a bit I am sure we don't.

So do I tell him the truth about chemistry or blame the divorce and say I'm not ready to date. The divorce excuse is just too convenient. Tell me to suck it up. Some not so harsh examples of things to say would help too.

+Black Kitty+ · February 2012

Personally I would tell the truth, just say "I don't think we really have the chemistry that I am looking for" and hopefully if he is a big boy that will be enough.

HoolyGo · February 2012

I wouldn't tell him the truth exactly, but I wouldn't blame it on the divorce either. I'd just say something like, "you're a really nice guy, and I've enjoyed hanging out with you, but I've decided that I am not interested in pursuing a relationship with you." If he asks why, I might say something like, "I am not feeling the type of connection that I'd hoped to feel."

MintChocoChip · February 2012

Ok thanks. I know he will think its because he did something wrong when we were messing around. Truth be told, I just couldn't get into it because I'm not into him. I'll talk to him tonight. Ugh.

LandOBiscuit · February 2012

I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

PremierMot · February 2012

LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?

MintChocoChip · February 2012

PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?

No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.

arborgold · February 2012

MintChocoChip:
PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?
No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.

Just jumping in to say good luck taking the bar, MCC. Is this your first? And are you doing NY & NJ, or just NJ?

MintChocoChip · February 2012

arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?
No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.
Just jumping in to say good luck taking the bar, MCC. Is this your first? And are you doing NY & NJ, or just NJ?

Thanks I need all the luck I can get. I did not have the time or energy to put in the effort I needed to. It's my 3rd. I am licensed in Massachusetts and NY. I don't want to practice so this is essentially a masochistic exercise in futility. Harrumph!

arborgold · February 2012

MintChocoChip:
arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?
No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.
Just jumping in to say good luck taking the bar, MCC. Is this your first? And are you doing NY & NJ, or just NJ?
Thanks I need all the luck I can get. I did not have the time or energy to put in the effort I needed to. It's my 3rd. I am licensed in Massachusetts and NY. I don't want to practice so this is essentially a masochistic exercise in futility. Harrumph!

You = insane!

I'm licensed in NY (hell on earth that bar, hell on earth - someday I'll tell you the harrowing story of my exam) only, and part of the reason I refuse to move anywhere except for DC is because I refuse to take another one!

arborgold · February 2012

MintChocoChip:
arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?
No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.
Just jumping in to say good luck taking the bar, MCC. Is this your first? And are you doing NY & NJ, or just NJ?
Thanks I need all the luck I can get. I did not have the time or energy to put in the effort I needed to. It's my 3rd. I am licensed in Massachusetts and NY. I don't want to practice so this is essentially a masochistic exercise in futility. Harrumph!

You = insane!

I'm licensed in NY (hell on earth that bar, hell on earth - someday I'll tell you the harrowing story of my exam) only, and part of the reason I refuse to move anywhere except for DC is because I refuse to take another one!

MintChocoChip · February 2012

arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?
No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.
Just jumping in to say good luck taking the bar, MCC. Is this your first? And are you doing NY & NJ, or just NJ?
Thanks I need all the luck I can get. I did not have the time or energy to put in the effort I needed to. It's my 3rd. I am licensed in Massachusetts and NY. I don't want to practice so this is essentially a masochistic exercise in futility. Harrumph!
You = insane!
I'm licensed in NY (hell on earth that bar, hell on earth - someday I'll tell you the harrowing story of my exam) only, and part of the reason I refuse to move anywhere except for DC is because I refuse to take another one!

If I pass I'm plating my bar cards in gold and hanging them on a matching chain. Gangsta at law.

arborgold · February 2012

MintChocoChip:
arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
arborgold:
MintChocoChip:
PremierMot:
LandOBiscuit:
I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you don't feel the chemistry.

Agreed. Maybe he feels the same way.

Mint- is it true that in NJ you are REQUIRED to do pro bono work every reporting period. If it is true, is it true that it is assigned to you (even if the work assigned) may be outside of your practice area? How does that work for lawyers there that dont carry malpractice coverage?
No I think you're just required to register for it, like jury duty, and only required if called. I don't know for sure though bc I'm not licensed here yet. I take the bar this week. I think you'd have to have malpractice ins to do it though. I know someone who wanted to do pro bono for my NPO that I volunteer w non legally and she said shed have to get ins to do it. Good thing to look into. NJ has such crazy requirements.
Just jumping in to say good luck taking the bar, MCC. Is this your first? And are you doing NY & NJ, or just NJ?
Thanks I need all the luck I can get. I did not have the time or energy to put in the effort I needed to. It's my 3rd. I am licensed in Massachusetts and NY. I don't want to practice so this is essentially a masochistic exercise in futility. Harrumph!
You = insane!
I'm licensed in NY (hell on earth that bar, hell on earth - someday I'll tell you the harrowing story of my exam) only, and part of the reason I refuse to move anywhere except for DC is because I refuse to take another one!
If I pass I'm plating my bar cards in gold and hanging them on a matching chain. Gangsta at law.

I actually lol-ed. Brava, lady. Brava.

achase123 · February 2012

Sorry E. Sometimes I just have to really lay it out there bluntly. Like "I really have enjoyed our dates but I have to be honest, I'm just not feeling it". it is hard to be that honest but it always seems like if you don't they think it was something they did or could fix. I'd just say it in a kind but truthful way. He'll understand. It happens a lot.

Tell the truth?

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