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May08 Cat Ladies--come in.
Ok, so it?s been almost four months since losing Winky, and I?m still grieving. It was seriously the hardest thing I?ve been through (which I know might sound crazy, but I?ve been lucky and have never lost anyone close to me). I don?t know if I?m ready for another cat, but I always browse petfinder.com anyway (I did this even when Winky wasn?t sick). And I found Winky?s twin, Deliliah is almost identical to Winky and she is very small, which was one of the things I loved so much about Winky.
So I?ve been trying to decide what to do all weekend. Crying, and feeling guilty about ?replacing? Winky. But hopeful that a new cat could help me grieve, and also would get a beautiful kitten out of the shelter.
Today I said, okay God, tell me what to do. I can?t make this decision alone. And this morning one of my professors came in to see me. She asked if I could ?foster? one of her cats for a month. Her cat, Cali, has been pooping under her husband?s desk. It?s the only place she goes outside of the litter box and her husband is about ready to give the cat up. She said she wants shampoo the house, install a cat door so the cat can go outside in the spring and just give her husband a break. She said she?d pay for everything while she stays with us (and if the cat starts pooping in my house, she?d take her back).
I feel like maybe I should do this bc it?s a way to ?test-drive? having another cat in the house without making the commitment. But then part of me is worried that I?ll love having a cat and after a month, Deliliah won?t be available. I don?t know what to do!!!! Any suggestions? Should I just go meet Deliliah this week and see if that helps? Could I make an agreement with the shelter that they hold her for one month for me? (She?s too small to be spayed yet, so maybe they would be willing to hold her for a month and spay her if she gains enough weight). But will it be too hard to have a cat that looks exactly like Winky?
Sorry, I wrote a book. I'm just really struggling trying to figure this out.
Re: May08 Cat Ladies--come in.
I personally wouldn't get a cat that looked just like one that I lost. I don't know what I'd do if Pepper looked anything like Murphy. I feel like I would be comparing one to the other every day, and using the wrong name all the time.
As for fostering, it's not easy to do. I've fostered a few cats, and I've always gotten very attatched to them. It was hard for me to let them go. I'd also be wary of taking in a cat that needs to be essentially boarded for a month because of pooping problems. Granted, it's likely directed at the husband.. just something to really consider IMO
i would make plans to take a look at delilah and see how it goes from there. it's possible for example that by the time you get there she will be adopted so it may become a moot point. or you may get there and see another cat who you love more.
i don't see anything wrong with getting a cat that looks like winky. because even a cat with the same coloring after awhile you will get to know her and start thinking she looks nothing like her. just make sure to focus on the new cat's personality and the qualities she has and does not have. and make sure you don't put pressure on her to "be" winky in terms of personality, because she will most surely fall short.
regarding the other situation, my concern is you will get attached to the cat and you will experience another "loss" when you have to give her back. or, the person will discover that her husband won't let the cat back in the house and the woman will guilt you into keeping her because she'll say well if you don't want her i have to take her to the shelter.
I'm all for getting a new cat, even one that looks like your old pet. If there's one calling out to you, I would definitely go look at it.
As for the fostering, I think I'd pass on that. You just had a loss of a pet and I'd worry that you'd get attached and then have to give this cat back (because I know I would). I'm also not sure if I'm not reading this correctly, but why is the lady wanting you to foster - just so she can get the carpets cleaned?? She can do that with the cat there. Sounds like she's trying to dump the cat on you, but again i could be totally not reading someting right there.
I agree with the girls about the fostering bit. Doesn't sound like a good idea and I would be afraid it would turn into a dump with a problem cat.
I say make an appointment to see the cat and see where it goes from there.
I agree with the others about fostering and I would probably make an appt to see the cat. Hard decisions! Good luck with whatever you decide.
Thanks all! I went and met the cats last night...they are beautiful. Deliliah is tiny but very timid. Samson is a bit larger and very affectionate and playful. They have another brother, Teddy, who was soooo scared of me, and he looks different from the other two, who are practically identical. I felt really awful because the lady is a smoker so the house reeks and I doubt it's very good for the cats to be breathing in, and she fosters like 12 cats! They were in decent size cages, and I think she lets them out often, but it was still sad to see.
Jason says we should adopt all 3...I don't know if I can handle 3! The only thing holding us back is that J's childhood cat is dealing with health issues. We want to take her, but we don't want it to be just as "hospice" care, bc neither of us could really handle that right now.
I'm going to Mississippi this week, so J's going to meet the cats next week and we'll go from there. Thanks for all the advice! I'll keep you updated!
(Oh, and I don't think we're going to foster that other cat...just seems like there are too many questions and 'what ifs')