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MIL using Washer and Dryer
So... my new mother-in-law is using the washer and dryer that my husband owns. She's been living on her own in her own apartment for almost 2.5 months now, but comes over to the house to do her laundry when she is available/has time. She's divorced for three years almost and has a new job as of this past January. After the divorce up until the time she moved out she was living with my then fiance paying him rent (sometimes) with the alimony until she got on her feet. She paid it when she had the money - which is a totally different story.
Before we got married, at my apartment it didn't come with a washer and dryer so my fiance insisted I do it at the house to save myself money (when I was looking at renting a washer/dryer) - so I did. It was partially to do that, but also to spend time with him while we were dating and engaged planning a wedding.
My question is: am I being a snob in wanting her to get her own washer/dryer so that he and I can have the house and not have to worry about when she's going to come over (if we are/aren't there) or should I raise a 'stink' about this and ask that she either give us our key back, change the locks, have her come at a designated time when we're there, or let it carry on as it is?
I kind of feel that I'm in a way being a hypocrite here with doing the same thing before we were married, but then again half of the bills for the whole house are my responsibility. He doesn't want to put his mother out, make her feel unwanted (mental issues with her), etc. Plus - WE'RE NEWLYWEDS.
I need some advice - please!
Re: MIL using Washer and Dryer
I would not have an issue with my MIL doing washing or drying at my house, but I would have an issue with unannounced visits. Well, maybe I even lie about the first part. I like my MIL but I am glad we don't live in the same city.
But I digress.
I think there need to be boundaries in your household about when you have visits from your MIL. You and your husband need to sit down and have a discussion about it but ultimately he has to be the one to discuss it with her. So, your issue is with your husband.
Establishing boundaries = good.
Changing the locks without telling your MIL =/= good.
Yes, this. Whichever route you go, please don't just change the locks. That will come across as passive aggressive and simply immature. You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about the situation. He should be the one to speak with his mother. If I were in your situation, I would at least want her to come over at a scheduled time when I was home- I would feel uncomfortable with someone entering my home unannounced, especially if I was not there.
Yes, this. Whichever route you go, please don't just change the locks. That will come across as passive aggressive and simply immature. You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about the situation. He should be the one to speak with his mother. If I were in your situation, I would at least want her to come over at a scheduled time when I was home- I would feel uncomfortable with someone entering my home unannounced, especially if I was not there.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10