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So Frustrated!!
This board has always been a safe place to vent, and that is just what I need! Amelia was latching great in the hospital. Right after birth she BFed, and seemed to know exactly what she was doing. Now, her actual latch position hasn't been the best, and I'm actually concerned that our sizes may not match (she has her daddy's small mouth). But she would still latch on and feed. We had difficulty getting her to feed every 2-3 hours, but she was eating relatively consistently every 4 hours for 30+ minutes. Fast forward to coming home. Amelia just wouldn't latch anymore. Overnight Saturday and all day yesterday was an extreme battle. She would either be totally asleep or screaming her head off. No baby can breast feed while screaming! The few times I could get her to latch, she would suck maybe 4 times, then stop and scream again or just nuzzle/fall asleep. This was about the same time my milk came in. Her pedi had already expressed concern about her billirubin levels, so once she was getting obviously yellow we made the choice to pump/bottle feed. Saw the pedi this morning, who is still concerned, but very supportive of our desire for Amelia to nurse. Had a call in with the LC at the hospital. When she finally calls me back, I felt like she already had given up on me/us; "Well, we really wouldn't have wanted her to have a bottle... If you really want to do this you need to pump every 2-3 hours to maintain your supply." We are going to see her at 12:30, but I'm already feeling like there is no point. She was telling me crap I already knew, and felt bad enough about; and yes, I'm aware that she shouldn't have a pacifier. How do you soothe a baby that likes to suck but won't latch?! Argh! Hopefully she does prove to be helpful and not already biased against us....
Thanks for 'listening' ladies! Other than breastfeeding, things with Amelia have gone well. She is sleeping a lot and hard to wake up - we're trying to determine if that is her or effects of the billirubin. Our first night home was hell, but we've heard that is often the case. Oh well. AND Amelia is already a big cousin! My SIL who was due March 22nd, was induced on Friday for cholestasis, and Miranda Claire was born on Saturday morning!
Re: So Frustrated!!
Ugh the beginning BF days are HARD. But go you for sticking with it. Here is a great place to vent and we will support you with whatever decision you make.
And that LC...wow, I don't want to get started, you need all the support you are supposed to get and her attitude is not helping things! If her attitude is there during the appointment, i would strongly suggest looking at LLL or another LC.
Evie has many issues latching, and I know not everyone suggests it, but a nipple shield held us so much. Evie had no idea how to latch, and I think for the same reasons of a small mouth or just being impatient.
Maybe she is starving and gives up easily. Have you tried giving her a little (bottle, cup feeding, syringe feeding) then relatching? How about a sns feeding system?
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Vent away, girlfriend! Vent.Away.
Hopefully the LC will provide some support, instead of making you feel bad. It could be a case of her not pulling enough of your breast into her mouth to get the milk really flowing. And so when she sucks her first couple times and doesn't get much, she gets frustrated and pulls off.
Are you squeezing/expressing a bit of milk before you try to get her to latch? That may help.
The other thing to try would be skin to skin breastfeeding. Strip her down and you as well. We had some success with this when Austin wasn't wanting to latch since he had already been on a bottle for a few weeks.
Since it started around the time that your milk came in, could it be that you have a forceful letdown? I know C would pull off at first for that reason. If so, you can pump/hand express a little to start the flow and then put her on the breast when it slows down a little.
I remember being desparate in the hospital when C wouldn't stop crying. DH was feeding him a bottle right when the lactation consultant walked in (and I was in the shower). In the words of my pedi, "Sometimes you just have to do what you need to to maintain your sanity. One bottle isn't going to destroy your chances of breastfeeding."
The beginning of breastfeeding is definitely hard and can be difficult and frustrating! You're doing good! I really hope the LC you are going to see is helpful and doesn't judge you or make you feel worse. If you aren't comfortable with her, then I would also suggest finding a new one. You need to be comfortable with her.
We also had quite a few latching issues. The LC in the hospital got us a nipple shield which REALLY helped! We used it for every feeding, and weaned her from it at about 1-1.5 month old. It was worth it to us to use it.
Thanks girls! We did try the little bit in a bottle - relatch routine yesterday. Which worked maybe once. My milk DID come in rather forcefully and I had used a manual pump to relieve pressure. My first pumping session (while engorged) produced nearly 6 ounces total, last session was 3 ounces (and was my 4th pump session). So hopefully the flow has slowed a bit. I am considering trying nipple shields and hope to talk with the LC about this. My nips are huge, compared to her mouth, and compared to even a bottle nipple - so that may be an issue.
Morrigan - I plan to talk with the LC about an SNS, but I'm not sure that would help our issue (need to do more research).
Katie - thanks for the tip on the skin to skin. I'll try that when we get home!
Thanks ladies!!
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Aspen Marley ~ 12.22.11
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Neena Mae. 1/7/10
"A baby nursing at a mother's breast is an undeniable affirmation of our rootedness in nature." - David Suzuki
We had the same problem--Nora seemed to nurse great in the hospital, but when we went home, it was suddenly hell. She wanted nothing to do with me, she flat out refused to latch at all. She went 10+ hours without eating anything, and even then would refuse to eat from me.
Here is my blog post about it, if you happen to want to read a similar experience (scroll down to after the pics of her in her crib), but I'll try to give you the gist of it.
For the overnight that first night home, the pedi told us to cup feed her a teeny amount of formula (in your case, you could do expressed breastmilk) to "take the edge off" of the hunger, then try to latch. I know you've said you've done that--and I did it too, with limited success. But for now, I would keep trying that.
Hopefully you'll end up with some good advice from the LC. And if you don't, FIND ANOTHER ONE. Seriously. We ended up in the pediatrician's office, and the nurse practitioner there serves as an LC and she was WONDERFUL. After giving Nora a little formula first, she showed me a new method to get Nora to latch on the breast (which NONE of the LCs at the hospital had taught me, in fact it was contrary to things they had said). My BFing boobs were gigantic, too, so maybe it'll work for you. She said to squeeze the breast a bit to make it smaller, so she can fit more into her mouth. If I'm remembering correctly, you basically squeeze with a thumb and a finger, right around the edges of your areola. Squeeze gently, then when she opens her mouth, shove it in and once she latches, let go of your squeeze. I don't know if I'm doing a good job describing it--but Nora latched right on and using this method, we never had another problem. I know it's not always that easy, but it's worth a try?
Good luck. Like others said, those early breastfeeding days are tough. My friends all told me to give it my all for three weeks--because after that, it'll just get easier. For me, it got easier a lot more quickly than that, but it's just a goal for you to have in mind. And definitely, find a good support system in an LC, a pediatrician, or something!
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