Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
flameful confession
One of the things about dating/haing intimacy again that freaks me out is WTF do I do if it is small? I feel bad for even thinking about this.
f.k.a.= Derniermot
Re: flameful confession
I'll chime in on your confession: The guy I dated after XH was small - really really small, and couldn't keep it hard. The sex was awful, and he didn't try to compensate in other areas. Truth be told though, we broke up for other reasons - we didn't date for a long time, but if we had, it would have become an issue.
That said, smallish isn't a problem for me necessarily (XH wasn't large, for sure) - I think there are plenty of ways to make sparks fly in the bedroom. Cross that bridge when you get there.
In re: size, um...i hate to say it, but, yeah, size DOES matter. At least somewhat. I've been with both larger and smaller guys, and as long as you know what you're doing, it works out fine. But a small guy who doesn't compensate in other ways? No thank you - one awful experience was enough for me.
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
How do you convey that sex is important to you without attracting dickpics/nasty guys? I dont want to start seeing someone to find out he is okay having sex 1x per month.
(stuff like this is why I feel like I am not ready to get out there yet)
If you find out, please let me know -- I have no idea. Sex is really important to me too, but I think I come off as seeming the opposite.
I shamefully share the same confession.
I do think it's a legitimate concern though. I dated this guy years before I married my STBXH and just couldn't deal with his small member.
<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad259/laurens1122-bfp/?action=view
And you're still going out with him? lol
I dated this "old" 27 year-old guy when I was 19 or 20 and while we were having sex, he was telling me how loud his ex-gf was in bed and that neighbors complained. Well, I broke things up with him after that. WTF would he say that? Ah, I like to pat myself on the back for being a smart 19 year-old lol.
Yeah taken out of context it sounds bad but it wasn't like that at all.
It's a rational fear. XH was small. I just told him he was average...
ETA: This reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy joke: "They say that it's not the size of the ship. But we all know it takes a LOOOOOOOOONG time to get to England in a rowboat."
STBXH's was just a head sometimes. I made a comment to him once about it and he got all butt hurt. LOL. I'm so amorous to a strong, healthy peen. Just remember that big boys eat their veggies LMAO. I'm in such a strange mood today
I had that fear too...I always felt bad because it's completely beyond the guy's control, but I just CAN'T. Current BF has the best I've ever seen and I think I'd be ruined sexually if we broke up. I might be DEMANDING dickpics before agreeing to go out with someone, lol!
I believe there is such a thing as too small and there is such a thing as too big and everything in between is just fine.
I have only had one experience with each (and I was no prude in college)
Too small was so small that I felt nothing. It was probably average length, but the girth was that of a pinky finger. Poor guy.
Too big was also average length, but was about the size of a soda can around. I said no thanks. The thought of it made me want to cry. I am sure he was perfect for some other girl, but not me.
I don't think there are many of the unfortunate "too small" men out there. That, or I have low standards.
One of the things that freaks me out is that xh is the only guy I've ever been with, and I'm worried I'm going it all wrong, lol.
I saw your post on ML- do you want my email address, so you can get in touch with someone if you need to?
I haven't had sex in over two years, so I'd take pinky finger, coke can, or anything in between.
However, I'd like to go on a date where I didn't feel like puking out of sheer terror. Clearly, I'm not ready. But I feel like I will never be if I don't push myself out of my comfort zone a little.
Oooh, I never get to take part in the sexy stuff threads because there's no sexy stuff going on at my house. But one of my first bfs after college was so small that even when he was, ahem, at attention, I didn't realize it. Like, pinky finger small. Yikes. I did not break up with him because of that; but it's interesting that the most memorable thing in my mind about our relationship was that. So I imagine I broke up with him out of boredom.
I do not recall his size affecting his performance. And I do recall him being an enthusiastic participant.
So, I hadn't had sex in 15 months, yes, 15 months and I dated this guy last May and it was the smallest penis I've ever seen........I gave it a chance, but when he stopped calling me, I wasn't that sad about it. The most recent guy I dated wasn't that big either, but it had potential. Anyway, the sex wasn't amazing and I have a feeling that didn't make it too painful for me to let him go either.
Not a flameful confession, just a reality, unfortunately!
Here's the thing about diicks -- your chances of seeing a true micropeen is about as good as seeing someone hung like a horse. Sure, it's possible, but those are extremes. It'll be fine! And if you embark upon something with a guy who just doesn't do it for you, end it the moment you realize that and not a second longer, Sex isn't everything, but it IS a huge part of any relationship.
This conversation, while valid, does make me wonder how upset we'd all be if some guy told one of us that he couldn't continue a relationship because our breasts were too small or our vagina wasn't tight enough. Tricky business!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Hahaha, I've asked the same thing! I catch myself trying to gauge by foot size or something.
I've brought a guy home and when it turns out to be the size of a MarksALot mini, what do you do? what do you do!? There's no turning back, his pants are already off, but at that point I am more interested in microwaving some popcorn and watching the bachelor while he puts on his clothes and leaves.
I can personally attest to the fact that the hand/foot size thing is not accurate in trying to guess penis size. I met a guy that is about 6' tall, but his hands are as big as mine, and I've got relatively small hands for a girl. His feet are only slightly larger than mine.
His penis is huge.
Crazy.
Yeah! Ugh, there seems to be no common thread here. And I'm not saying I'm looking for a giant anaconda here, but the guys with, haha, micropeen - they had no giveaway when you looked at them fully clothed!! This is completely unfair, because a guy can pretty much tell when he looks at you how big your a$$ is.
I'll admit it, I try to guage peen size based on a bulge in the pants! Seriously, if there's no bulge there I do wonder why. That's the only way I've figured on how to estimate.