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please interpret boy-speak

I don't post here a whole lot but check in to review posts briefly each day.

I can essentially relate to ChasingEmmi's story, from when me and NG (new guy) started dating (a month-ish ago), to sleeping together on the 3rd date, to trying to take everything slow at the same time (yeah I know, really trying!), being totally into each other, etc.  Trying to summarize the back story here. :)

So NG says to me, as we're making out, "I kind of want to claim you for myself.  Make you more than just a girl that I'm dating."  In keeping with trying to take it slow, I'm letting him bring this stuff up / not necessarily talking about the future/labels/etc (it's only been a month!).  I just smiled and kept kissing him.

A few nights later, we're hanging out again.  I ask him what he meant the other night when he said (the above).  He said, "You're the only girl that I'm dating, which I've told you before.  I don't want to rush labels though, as I've done that in the past too soon and it's backfired on me."

So what does all this mean?  I've just decided that I'm going to keep going with it and enjoying our time together.  I'm not necessarily in a rush to pull out the labels either, but the above 2 comments seem somewhat contradictory.  

Thoughts?

Re: please interpret boy-speak

  • Well, part of the contradiction is probably happening because you've said you wanted to take it slowly but you've been sleeping together.  That's where a lot of confusion can come from.

    I interpret it as part of him wants to call you his GF but he's not ready yet.  If you are ready for the GF/BF/exclusive talk then why didn't you say something when he brought it up the other night (instead of just smiling and continuing to make out with him)?  Communication is key in a relationship or whatever it is you two are.  It sounds to me like you're playing games, or trying to be coy.  Just say what is on your mind and what you want!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • It means he likes you and he wants you all to himself, but he doesn't want to scare you off because you want to take things slow.
  • I interpret this as him saying he does not want to see other girls along with you.  I am not sure if he is hoping you reciprocate the same for him but it seems like it since he brought it up.

  • It means that he needs to work on his communication skills.
    image
  • imageachase123:

    Well, part of the contradiction is probably happening because you've said you wanted to take it slowly but you've been sleeping together.  That's where a lot of confusion can come from.

    I interpret it as part of him wants to call you his GF but he's not ready yet.  If you are ready for the GF/BF/exclusive talk then why didn't you say something when he brought it up the other night (instead of just smiling and continuing to make out with him)?  Communication is key in a relationship or whatever it is you two are.  It sounds to me like you're playing games, or trying to be coy.  Just say what is on your mind and what you want!

    Ditto this.

    You're a grown woman who I'm assuming, as a poster on this board, has been in relationships before. If you want to have "the talk," have the talk. Don't play games with him and then ask for advice on how to play them.

    ETA: I think that came out more harsh than I meant. I just mean that if you feel like you're ready for a slightly more serious relationship, and you feel like he is, then go ahead and start the conversation. No need to keep dancing around it. 

    image
    "You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
  • imagearborgold:
    imageachase123:

    Well, part of the contradiction is probably happening because you've said you wanted to take it slowly but you've been sleeping together.  That's where a lot of confusion can come from.

    I interpret it as part of him wants to call you his GF but he's not ready yet.  If you are ready for the GF/BF/exclusive talk then why didn't you say something when he brought it up the other night (instead of just smiling and continuing to make out with him)?  Communication is key in a relationship or whatever it is you two are.  It sounds to me like you're playing games, or trying to be coy.  Just say what is on your mind and what you want!


    Ditto this.

    You're a grown woman who I'm assuming, as a poster on this board, has been in relationships before. If you want to have "the talk," have the talk. Don't play games with him and then ask for advice on how to play them.

    ETA: I think that came out more harsh than I meant. I just mean that if you feel like you're ready for a slightly more serious relationship, and you feel like he is, then go ahead and start the conversation. No need to keep dancing around it. 

    Thanks for you input!  I DO want a relationship and feel as though we are progressing to that point, I just don't want to push it too quickly and scare him away.  Not trying to be coy, just trying not to be too hasty either.  It's all about timing, right?  We're hanging out again tomorrow evening, so we'll see how it goes. 

  • Ironically, I can answer this because I'm kinda him right now.

    I think he's wanting to be more serious with you, but he's "feeling you out" to see if you take the bait or if you back off. I've said something very similar to this recently, sort of nonchalantly throwing out that I'd like to be more "steady", but then also told him that I've always jumped too fast and gotten hurt. What I was hoping to hear was that he wanted it, too, and that he wouldn't hurt me. 

    And that's what he said. 

    So, yeah, I think he's feeling you out so he doesn't get shot down, sort of testing how you feel. 

  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    It means that he needs to work on his communication skills.

    I agree.

  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    It means that he needs to work on his communication skills.

    I have so missed your responses here lately Big Smile always short and to the point. 

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