Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Getting divorced with a 2.5 y/o - expected custody/visitation?
Would you mind sharing with me what your custody/visitation schedule looks like? I am just starting this whole nightmare process of divorce and i know that this will be our biggest conflict point. I am trying to determine what is "reasonable" for a child that is now under 3. I know that it is highly dependent on the individual and the circumstances but I would still love to know anyone elses experience. Thanks
Re: Getting divorced with a 2.5 y/o - expected custody/visitation?
My child is now 17 months and was 10 months at the time of separation so I know that makes a difference since he was so young and stability was very important.
I have my child 70% while stbxh has him for 30% of the time.
STBXH has visitation him on Tuesdays and Thursdays from daycare pickup to 7:30pm and every other weekend from Friday(pickup at daycare to Sunday drop off at 7:30pm.
While I wish I didn't have to share my child, I am happy for my son that he has a dad who is very involved and loves him very much.
You might want to try again on the Bump, either Blended Families or Single Parent board.
FWIW, I divorced my exH when DS was just one yr. old and he was given (by a judge) 3, 2 hr. visits and an overnight. He screwed that up by being super inconsistent so when our divorce was final (DS was then 3) he was given 6 hours e/o Saturday. No overnights. But he is super ::special:: and that's why his time is super limited.
Every situation is different and so much goes into each parenting plan.
My DS is just over 2 y/o and XH has EOWE parenting time (Pick-up from daycare on Friday and return at 5:00PM on Sunday), and Wednesday evenings from 4PM-7PM. He does not use his Wednesday visitation and hasn't in well over a year.
XH also has 2 non-consecutive weeks of vacation in the summer months.
Are you interested in holiday schedules as well?
ExH and I have basically a 50/50 split. Maybe 60/40, I dunno.
Sunday after 11 am - Thursday (I drop them off at school that morning) they are with me.
Thursday afternoon until Sunday at 11 am, they are with him.
I like that I get the majority of the week, since they are in school. I miss them a lot on the weekends. I sometimes ask to keep them if I want to do something with them or if we have family plans. He's always been willing to do that.
Well our situation is a little different because of XH's history of drugs. He also didn't see DS for a full year (June '10 to June '11). Now he has two visits a week, unsupervised for three hours on Tuesday nights, and four hours on Sunday afternoons. If all goes well from now until June he'll have an all day visit on Sunday but no overnights yet.
I think it's pretty customary for an EOW and one mid-week visitation schedule when they're still that young but you'll want to check with your attorney.
I realize that my situation is not usual, but my ex and I get along well, and he is free to come and go at anytime in our home (our son is 13) so usually my son sees his father 5 to 6 days a week. He is also free to take him overnight at any time (but works insane hours at two jobs so this doesn't happen often)
Officially, I have primary custody and he gets every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. We have never followed the orders though and feel like our son knowing his parents can get along is important. We did have 13 years to work this out though (broke up when our son was 6 months old due to his dads drinking, which he has stopped) and it certainly wasn't smooth at the beginning.
My son is 21 months, going on 22 months in a week. I have DS Monday night through Saturday night... while STBXH has him Saturday night through Monday morning (he drop DS at daycare in the morning/I pick up DS from daycare after work.)
This is what works for us and our schedules... and it was important for both of us to spend time with DS every week, especially at his age. DS has been pretty resilient in that he now understands he has time with mommy and time with daddy. We also plan for a dinner together (the three of us) once every 2 weeks to catch up on things/discuss misc stuff pertaining to our divorce, etc.
I have sole physical custody, but our schedule & distance allows for weekly visitation with stbxh.
We also have joint legal custody so that decision making (re: schooling, religion, and medical care) is shared by both of us.
My son was a year and a half old when we split (7 mths ago). My attorney got him to sign a temporary order giving him Wednesdays and EOW. My attorney told me that is standard. My ex complains from time to time (nothing formal) that he wants more days but I think he is just bullshitting because I live almost two hours away from him and there really isn't any other way for him to get in more time. Plus my attorney told me what he is getting is very standard and a judge most likely will not change the schedule.
My situation is unique in that my ex has every other friday off from work so it worked out really well to give him every other Friday beginning at 9am to Sunday at 9am. Which is nice for me because I get every Sunday with my DS. I do fear that if/when we go to court the judge might give him the full day on Sunday but I guess I could deal with that...