Starting Over
Anyone ever dealt with Alzheimer's before? What did you do you "help"?
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
NSOR: Who has dealt with Alzheimer's before?
My grandma was diagnosed with early Alzheimer's about two years ago. However, it has progressively gotten worse. She still knows who all of us are, but she's beginning to forget more and more. My grandpa sent an email to my mom (which she forwarded to me), saying that my Grandma is experiencing depression and "feels forgotten". Said she feels like she never sees the kids, however her daughter (my aunt) and her kids just visited last week. My grandma had no recollection of the visit.
What should we (the grandkids) do to help? Send cards/letters/pictures/video? Have Skype sessions? They live about 40 minutes from me, so I can visit with DS and my parents. My other cousins are adults as well, but live in Colorado. (We're in MI). I'd love to put together some kind of photo book of our family trips that my grandma could look through whenever she wanted. I just don't know if this will make her more depressed because she cant' remember the trips/we're not physically visiting her, etc.
Anyone ever dealt with Alzheimer's before? What did you do you "help"?
Re: NSOR: Who has dealt with Alzheimer's before?
I work with this and am dealing with this on a personal level also. I think photo books are awesome. People with Alzheimer's do well with things in writing, so write the stories for her. It's hard because they don't remember a lot of stuff and it's frustrating when you do stuff and they complain that you didn't, kwim?
The Alzheimer's Association as a great website with lots of information on it. I'd also see about local support groups which might have some information for you.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My dad had severe dementia, and like PP said, while that isn't the same, I can identify with a lot of what you're going through. (Example: on one of our last visits before he passed, my dad asked if my mom had seen my new car. My mom died in 2003. Yet, he recognized that we were in a different car.)
The biggest thing I learned is that it's important not to contradict the person who's suffereing from memory loss, because it only confuses them more and upsets them. So, for example, when my dad asked if my mom had seen the car, instead of saying, "Dad, mom passed away, remember?" I had to say, "No, she hasn't seen it yet." Writing things down and pictures help for sure. It's a constant, concrete reminder of what's real. The evidence is there. But if they start to deny that evidence, you do have to take it down.
And patience is HUGE. Don't expect to rush anywhere. Aggression and paranoia are common and it's really difficult.
Good luck. It's a difficult road, but there are definitely wonderful moments left.