May 2008 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
wwmay08do?
my h's cousin is getting married at the courthouse. the next day she invited family to a cookout. okay great, casual, right? fine. we had planned to bring a gift there.
then i was invited to her shower.
please don't flame but i'm wondering... would you spend the same amount you normally spend for shower and wedding? even though it's not a wedding? or just buy a shower gift? or just buy a wedding gift? or buy both but not spend as much? i'm usually not the kind to spend based on the size of the wedding AT ALL, but i guess i feel weird with this outlay of cash when she's really not having a wedding. i guess the bridal shower kinda threw me.
wwyd?
ps i may DD.
Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
Re: wwmay08do?
I would probably spend the same and split it into two gifts. I kind of don't think it's fair to have a private wedding but expect your guests to still give you a big gift at a cookout. Two smaller gifts is my suggestion.
What does your H think? Or is he "whatever"?
oh yeah he doesn't care.
Agree. I don't like having the mindset of "oh well the bride/groom are spending this much, so I should spent this much". But it seems like a shower gift and a big wedding gift would be much for just a cookout.
we're not close. she is having the backyard bbq because she doesn't like all the hoo-plah/stress surrounding the wedding process. that's why i don't get the shower.
Is she saying she doesn't like the hoopla because she doesn't have the money to even have a small wedding? haha just asking.
Personally I find it odd to have a shower when you're getting married at the courthouse just because (not like you need to in a hurry because you need to be able to go to a base where your H is about to go to) but if she really isn't into the hoopla then the shower is really odd to me.
I would probably either find two items to spend split the amount or give a better gift at the shower and a smaller little gift for the cookout.
I think two smaller gifts is totally fine.
In fact - what if you made them a print based off a a design you already have and stick it in a frame (Marshalls/TJMaxx have a great selection of cheap frames).
Then get them a gift for the wedding - gift card or even a small basket - again TJMaxx/Marshalls is great for that kind of thing. You could even do some sort of cookout themed basket for cheap - like a grill brush, grill cookbook, bbq sauce, etc.