May 2008 Weddings
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wwmay08do?

my h's cousin is getting married at the courthouse. the next day she invited family to a cookout. okay great, casual, right? fine. we had planned to bring a gift there.

then i was invited to her shower.

please don't flame but i'm wondering... would you spend the same amount you normally spend for shower and wedding? even though it's not a wedding? or just buy a shower gift? or just buy a wedding gift? or buy both but not spend as much? i'm usually not the kind to spend based on the size of the wedding AT ALL, but i guess i feel weird with this outlay of cash when she's really not having a wedding. i guess the bridal shower kinda threw me.

wwyd?

ps i may DD.

Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.

Re: wwmay08do?

  • I would probably spend the same and split it into two gifts. I kind of don't think it's fair to have a private wedding but expect your guests to still give you a big gift at a cookout. Two smaller gifts is my suggestion.

    What does your H think? Or is he "whatever"? 

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  • imageshmoozer:

    What does your H think? Or is he "whatever"? 

    oh yeah he doesn't care.

    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • imageshmoozer:

    I would probably spend the same and split it into two gifts. I kind of don't think it's fair to have a private wedding but expect your guests to still give you a big gift at a cookout. Two smaller gifts is my suggestion.

    What does your H think? Or is he "whatever"? 

    Agree. I don't like having the mindset of "oh well the bride/groom are spending this much, so I should spent this much". But it seems like a shower gift and a big wedding gift would be much for just a cookout.

  • How much do you like the cousin? That's usually how I base my gift giving. If you really like her and are close, gift her like you would if she was having the reception in a standard venue. Maybe they're having a small celebration because thay can't afford much else.. I wouldn't base the gift on the informality of it.
  • we're not close. she is having the backyard bbq because she doesn't like all the hoo-plah/stress surrounding the wedding process. that's why i don't get the shower.

    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • Is she saying she doesn't like the hoopla because she doesn't have the money to even have a small wedding? haha just asking.

    Personally I find it odd to have a shower when you're getting married at the courthouse just because (not like you need to in a hurry because you need to be able to go to a base where your H is about to go to) but if she really isn't into the hoopla then the shower is really odd to me.

    I would probably either find two items to spend split the amount or give a better gift at the shower and a smaller little gift for the cookout.

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  • I think two smaller gifts is totally fine.

    In fact - what if you made them a print based off a a design you already have and stick it in a frame (Marshalls/TJMaxx have a great selection of cheap frames). 

    Then get them a gift for the wedding - gift card or even a small basket - again TJMaxx/Marshalls is great for that kind of thing. You could even do some sort of cookout themed basket for cheap - like a grill brush, grill cookbook, bbq sauce, etc. 

    imageAlways Painted,Usually Chipped Disclaimer - This is not a nail polish blog.
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