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what is wrong with me?
i have been with my now husband for a little over 8 years...we got married on the 11th of feb 2012 and i am very much in love with him.....we got together when we were 16 years old and got married at 23
During our 8 year relationship we have had a few bumps in the road.... we broke up for a few months and then got back together.....then started living together...we moved in with his mom for a couple of years after our breakup b/c it was just time...i guess... before we broke up and got back together it seemed like every chance we got we were making out or having sex.....then we moved in with his mom and it decreased dramaticly....i thought it was just that we were living with his mom and he didnt want her to catch us...but now we are married and in our own place it still is not very often....everytime i try to start it i get brushed off...but then when he wants it im there....it just seems like he only wants it like 1 time a week.....isnt it supposed to be more than that? Im worried and i dont know how to turn him on anymore... he always says he is sick or tired and thats why he never wants to do it when i do but im starting to think that theres another problem...is it me? what am i doing wrong?? im sorry ladies i know this is long but i really need some sound advice from people who care!
Re: what is wrong with me?
I think it's normally for love-making to decrease the longer you're together & the more stable your relationship is...but honestly, if you have a problem with the frequency, do something about it.
& if you don't want to do it yourself, talk to your DH & have HIM start things up with you more often. GL!
~ *BFP 10.21.11
So did you just move back in with him (without the mom) once you got married in feb?
Did you talk to him about the fact that you wanted more sex? What did he say?
Besides the obvious: Talking to him about it (without blaming)
I'd try date nights. It's just a way to take your mind off other things and focus on each other and can make it easier to feel sexier (both of you).
I'd also give yourself a little bit of time, you just got married less than a month ago, he might just need some time to adjust to it all and get used to his routine. And if he's always tired, finding a different time of the day to do it might help too.
First off you're going to get a tremendous amount of flak for marrying your only boyfriend and marrying him too too early.
If anything, you should have waited at least 4 years --- get some money saved, build a nest egg, live in a single girl's apartment first on your own or with roommates --- and then get married when you're in your late 20s.
What you are seeing is the real him. Sure it was sex and hot sex way back then --- you were a couple of horny teens and it was forbidden fruit.
While you are dating, you see the person's representative. Chances are his sex drive is what it is right now and always has been that way.
What you need to do:
COMMUNICATE with him. That is the key to every relationship.
He is not a mind reader.
Sit down with him outside of the bedroom and have a real long chat, and a frank one, with your H. YOu need to confront this sexual disconnect and he owes it to you to work on this with you. He should meet you at least halfway. Twice a week would be fine.
Shutting down is not acceptable: he needs to discuss this with you like an adult.
And if this disconnect with sex happened before you got married, you should have addressed it then. A gold ring won't fix this magically, as you can see. You can't figure "things will get better" -- as you can see, they have not. In fact, I'll bet the problem worsened after you got married.
And I hate to be the forebearer of possible bad news, but another possibility exists: it also could be that this relationship is over. Sorry.:(
And if this is over, he owes it to you to tell you exactly that. You didn't get married to have a roommate.
haha! possibly lol!