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It's been awhile...
It's been awhile since I've posted here. And with new events that have gone down in my life, I figured it was a good time to update. My dh and I have been separated since August after a act of violence towards me. I have an order of protection. The beginning of the fall there was an incident where he tried running me off the road, I pressed charges. During the past months he was going to counseling, started meds and quit drugs.we seemed to communicate better. But, in the past couple of weeks he hasn't seemed right. Little did I know, he quit counseling, stopped his meds and started drugs again. Since we have a young child, I dragged my feet on divorce. I guess I was hoping the counseling and meds would put him on the right track. Wishful thinking I know and stupid on my part. May seem silly but I've been praying very hard for a sign of knowing it was the right time to go ahead and file divorce. Yes, I know the act of violence and trying to run me off the road should have been that great sign, but I was blind and hopeful I guess. But, before bed last night I prayed and told god I know he has given me the signs and I kind if dismissed them, but I was truly ready now to accept if he was willing to give me one last sign. And I got it....first thing this morning I got call after call, text after text from dh. The news was he is going to jail for the incident of trying to run me off the road.
I contacted my lawyer and I am ready for the papers to be filed. I feel a sense of relief in a way. Like I am totally ready to finally start moving forward. I can't explain why it took this long or for this piece of news to make me make a move,but it is what it is. I guess I always kept hope he would change and I would have my family. I finally feel like I am on the road to finally starting over. Woohoo!!!!
Re: It's been awhile...
Everyone needs their own time to do things and take charge. It seems like this was the push you needed. Don't be so hard on yourself. You did what you felt like you had to do and now you're on the right path to starting over with him out of your life.
My XH was an addict and there were times that I would feel bad about the choices he made. These are their choices and not your problem anymore. Keeping telling yourself, "This is not my problem anymore. He is not my problem anymore."
You still have a family--likely a better one without him in it! Are you in counseling? Stick around here, we will support you.
Thank you. I also keep reminding myself over and over, " this isn't my fault" since dh tends to blame me every time something goes wrong. And he is blaming me for having to go to jail.
Yes, I am in counseling. It has been so helpful in helping me realize what I needed to do and just help keep me sane through this all. I will be sticking around. I now have an iPad so it's easier for me to have Internet access.
Another one here who had an XH as an addict.
I am glad you got the signs you asked for and needed. You may need to in order to heal ( it was something I went through and your own process) but the "should I have gotten out sooner" thing will/is a moot point. The point is you got out, you are safe, you are loved. Here for you if you need anything.
And I am proud of you and those who truly love and support you will be too! You need to know and hear this.