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New here
Hi everyone. I am recently seperated and have been lurking a bit here and there. This looks like a nice board with a lot of support.
STBX and I have been married 8.5 years and unfortunately this has been a long time coming. Its been an emotional rollar coaster for awhile, so I am really only feeling relief at this point, and some guilt of course because we have two young kids. But overall, I am actually happy to be finally starting the process so I can begin to move on with my life.
We are still living together for financial reasons and it is amicable, so far at least. We are about the start the mediation process and I am not sure what to expect. Does anyone have any insights? We do not have a lot of assets other then the house. Unfortunately the way the market is we cannot sell right now. He wants to keep the house, which I am ok with, but I want to make sure I protect my rights before I make the decision to move in with my parents as a stepping stone. I guess a consultation with a lawyer is in order.
Has anyone been in a similar situation with a house they cannot sell? What did you/are you doing? I cant live in limbo here together for too much longer, even though its peaceful it is still super awkward. I know moving in with my parents with soften the blow for my daughter, since she will be really excited to live with my mom for awhile.
Anyway, sorry to ramble on and on. Any other tips/advice/insights would be greatly appreciated.
Re: New here
Welcome! Sorry you are going through this, but at least things so far are amicable. That makes things a little better at least.
You said your STBXH wants the house...is he in a position to refinance it and get you off the mortgage and deed? XH and I own a house that we are unable to sell and we currently have it leased out to make the mortgage payment. Although its not ideal since if they move out we have a lot to figure out, it at least helps as long as they are there.
We have considered renting it, and will still keep that as an option. I guess we will look into him refinancing, I guess I am wondering if I am just out of luck in that case since we dont have any equity at the moment. Would he just pay me more in alimony? I have no clue how this works but I guess the mediator will have some ideas for us.
In the meantime at least my parents have the room for us and are more than willing to take us in. I was against it at first but after spending some weekends there recently, it was actually pretty nice!
Sorry you find yourself here! But the girls here are very supportive.
I am guessing you are a SAHM, if you are then you may be entitled to alimony, that will depend on what state you are in. (I am in Canada so I have no advice on this one).
You mentioned that you are going to get a lawyer, I would do this before you go to mediation.
You also said that things are good with you and your STBXH but I would pack an emergency bag with stuff for you and each of your children before you go to the mediation and either leave it at your parents house or in your vehicle. That way if anything goes wrong you wont have to go home and deal with him. That way it can keep you and your children safe. There are many people on here that didn't think their ex was capable of hurting them, emotionally or physically like they did.
Good Luck!