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Age difference equal
no sex drive at all?
I'm new here and have a question. My DH is 7 years older, and has no sex drive at all. Its hard because mine is on overdrive lol His doctor has suggested he start working out more and eating better, and he will re-evaluate and se if he needs to be treated for low testorone.
Now its to the point to where sex is non-existent. He says he doesn't want to have sex because he has to get up at 4:30am. ANYHOW, since he has found he has talked to his doctor, he just assumes that no sex is ok. We have talked about this until we are blue in the face. But he still seems really wrapped up in me me me me. And is taking no consideration about my feelings/needs anymore.
Ugghhh anything more you can suggest me trying/doing/suggestions??
Thanks!
Re: Age difference equal
If he is flat out refusing to have sex, then this is not a "he has no sex drive" problem. It is more or less a him problem.
It would be a real and bona fide problem if he was having problems maintaining or holding an erection and if that was happening constantly or fairly often. That is not what's happening to you and to him.
What you need to do:
Sit down and talk to him -- do not do it while you're in the sack -- do it at a time when the both of you can discuss this issue and at length.
It isn't 4:30 am all the time --- he's refusing to have sex with you; that's the problem, right? So this is down to no sex at all?
What is disturbing here: he will not work on this to please you and meet your needs; this is a complete lack of regard for you and your happiness.This is a character problem and it is also more or less a lack of respect for you, being he won't bother to make sure you're happy and your needs are met.
If he's refusing to have sex with you:
He's decided the sex department is closed, (it happens), he is emotionally withdrawing from the relationship or he is having an affair. As a long shot, he's gay and he's on his way out of a dark, long and deep closet.
Talk to him.
He needs to have it hit home that you are unhappy and that you have sexual needs and he has to start meeting them.
If he refuses to ante up after talking to him -- I'd go as far as to give him a deadline to start getting busy again --- or he tells you that he'll meet your needs and then does not, you decide where you want to go from here. Good luck.
All of this. Tarpon, I'm mostly a newbie/lurker, but every time I pop onto this board, you have given very excellent and detailed advice- are you a therapist? You always hit the nail on the head!
It doesn't seem like his age has anything to do with it.I agree that you need to have a very serious talk with him. It's not fair to you that he is content not having any sex. Either something needs to change or you should move on.
Unless you agreed to a sexless marriage, he needs to do something.
Why is he indeed content with not having sex with his wife?
Maybe because he's getting his from another source.
The OP has not been back. Pity.