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Sex question...I refuse to post on S&R
So...something a little strange is going on with me, and I wondered if anyone had any insight.
J and I have been sleeping together for a month, and he's definitely up there in the top 4 best I've ever had. Most likely the best, but it's been so long since I've had great sex that I can't really compare individually, so I just consider them all a tie ;-)
I haven't been able to "let myself go" enough yet to have an orgasm through oral sex, although he's really good at what he does. I know it's a mental block on my part, so I'm not worried. It usually takes a little time with me.
But here lies my problem. I usually don't have any trouble having an orgasm by myself when my partner isn't around. Now? It's much harder than usual. I'm wondering if it's because even though I'm not having orgasms with him, the sex is so great that I just don't have anything left to give myself? I know it sounds stupid, but you know how when you use vibrators a lot you have a hard time orgasming without it because it's desensitized you? This is the only thing I can think of that's the problem--the great sex has desensitized me to...myself!
Is this totally ridiculous, or even possible, since I'm not actually having orgasms with him yet?
I started noticing this a week or two ago, and I'm not taking any new medications or anything that could cause a problem. I feel pretty stupid even asking this, but hey, we're all friends here, right? lol
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Re: Sex question...I refuse to post on S&amp;R
When you are flying solo do you think about this issue? You might be pressuring yourself.
Maybe when you are taking a solo hike you can switch things up and watch some porn to distract yourself?
1) No, even though I noticed it a week or so ago, I didn't really start thinking about it as a problem until yesterday.
2) Already on it, boss.
I mean, I *can*, it just seems like it takes a little longer than usual, and a little more effort. It's not something I've ever dealt with except when I was on Effexor and Cymbalta a few years ago. I'm on Welbutrin now, but I've been on it for over a year now with no issues. This has just started since we started sleeping together.
I don't have any advice really, but maybe you just enjoy being around him so much, flying solo just isn't as satisfying as having the warm body next to you. I know I prefer the intimacy of just being close to someone over flying solo any day.
I had this problem when I first started being intimate with F. It took much more effort and much longer than usual to reach an orgasm when flying solo. I also just wasn't into it as much. I didn't worry about it too much at the time because I chalked it up to the newness and frequency in which I was having orgasms with him.
I think around month 6 or 7, it began to get easier to bring myself to orgasm alone. I think it had something to do with me not having had really great sex with another person for years, so it was all new in the beginning. It's still great now, just not as much of a novelty.
I'm glad I'm not the only one! And while orgasms would be nice with him, I honestly don't even need them! It doesn't bother me one bit to not have them, because it's all just so good otherwise, physically AND mentally.
Thanks everyone!
Oh shut up now lol! Think of us here who would love to have sex but don't have anyone to do it with. sigh. I am kidding of course, enjoy but have a though for your sexless SOers, ok? lol
The same thing happens to me. When I have really good sex I can't O on my own. It's super frustrating. I've found that after a while with no sex that I go back to being able to take care of business myself. It's just like the vibrator thing for me only backwards. lol.
I think for me it's a combination of things but mostly I much prefer being with a partner. I like the connection, having someone who wants to please me, and being able to please someone else - none of which I get by myself. Hence it is much harder to O after I've experienced that.