Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
This is weird, right?
I've been dating a guy for about two months now. We get along well and enjoy spending time together. One thing is bothering me though - I've never really met any of his friends. Granted, we do have some mutual friends that we spend time with but my issue is that before we were together, he used to go out all the time with different people and now, nothing. I've never been to his house either (he has roommates so I can see where maybe staying over is a little easier at my place). Even if I go to pick him up he just runs out. It just seems odd to me that I seem kept out of his life like that.
Am I making something out of nothing or is it a cause for concern? I'm starting to get serious about him and it worries me that maybe I'm being kept at a distance.
Re: This is weird, right?
I'll go with "maybe" on this. He could be embarassed of his living situation (if he's living with guys maybe it's really messy) hence the running out of the apartment. Maybe he's just focusing on you and he's one of the kinds of people who sort of drops friends to be with a SO.
Or maybe he's hiding something....wife/girlfriend, he's a hoarder, lives with his parents, he's got human skulls throughout the apartment....you know, the usual
Have you talked to him about it?
Yeah, I think that's a little weird. One issue or the other I can totally understand but the two together raise some flags. I'd probably call him out on it. Ask why you never go to his house. There *could* be a reasonable explanation but nothing particularly good comes to mind. I'd also express that you'd love to meet some of his friends and see what he says. The friend thing could be that they're all very into the single life or something.
ETA: Ok, the messy roommate thing makes a lot of sense. It could also be that his place is a bachelor pad and not well put together so he might be embarrassed about it.
I agree about his house - he could just be embarassed.
But the rest of it? Definitely talk to him.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
The only thing that I think is a bit weird is that he runs out of the house when you pick him up for dates. I would want to be welcomed inside for a few.
I think it's weird you've never been inside his house. I just always go with the intuition feeling. If it's bothering you (which is obviously is) then I'd try to get to the bottom of it. I'd say something like "I really enjoy our time together but I have to admit it feels strange that you are keeping a lot of your life closed off to me". Or something like that.
I've addressed it almost in the same way that you said it above. He said that there's no reason particular just the way it's worked out.
His roommates are NOT his parents. His dad passed away a few years ago and doesn't speak of his mom much.
I guess I'm probably being paranoid.
thanks for the insight!