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I knew DS would say this eventually...

Last night XH had his time with P.  They went to the zoo and then drove go-carts and then he brought P back to the house.  As he was saying good-bye P said "no don't go Daddy!  Mommy and Daddy!  Mommy and Daddy, mommy and Daddy!"  He didn't want XH to go.  It was really sad.  I just kind of ignored it and said "well Daddy has to go now". 

XH, being the gem that he is gave me a pointed look and then proceeded to sulk off.  Because, of course it was MY fault he made the choices he did and we're not together as a result of it.  ::sighs:: I knew that would probably come sooner or later but I was hoping it would be later.  I just never want P to feel as if he is different because his parents are not together.  It was a difficult moment but I tried not to let it get to me too much. 

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Re: I knew DS would say this eventually...

  • Oh, that's rough.  I'm sorry.

    :::Hugs:::

    You know you made the right decision for you and DS.  Part of the problem is that SD seems to be the good time dad, always taking P to do things and constantly entertaining him.  I'm sure that has something to do with it.

    Don't let it get to you.

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  • I know it's hard for him to understand at this age but as he gets older it will get better. I have a hard time with this as well. DS is the only child at daycare with a single parent. There are several parents that are divorced but all he sees is that each child has  a mommy and a daddy picking them up or dropping them off. DS longs for the day he can say he has a daddy too and "fits in" with the other kids.
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  • Hang in there, AChase!  You've made the right decisions for you and P.
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  • DS did that at first when his dad moved out and would come to visit. He was about 3.5 at the time. It's hard to explain to a kid that age, and there aren't a lot of kids his age in a similar situation.

    However, I can tell you that as he gets just a little bit older, he will understand it better and there will be more kids in his elementary school who are in a similar position.

    Hang in there, lady.

  • imageFormerlyAK:

    DS did that at first when his dad moved out and would come to visit. He was about 3.5 at the time. It's hard to explain to a kid that age, and there aren't a lot of kids his age in a similar situation.

    However, I can tell you that as he gets just a little bit older, he will understand it better and there will be more kids in his elementary school who are in a similar position.

    Hang in there, lady.

    This! It sucks, but you have to make it his norm, you know? My DS's biodad was MIA from 2 weeks on, so we always had a running dialog about different types of families.  I always worried about him feeling unloved because his biodad was absent, but he never really knew it was a big deal because we talked about differences whenever we could throw it into conversation.  ("so-and-so lives with his g-ma, isn't that cool?" "so-and-so's dad lives in an apartment" "so-and-so's has two moms", etc). 

    My DS was lucky enough to be adopted by my XH and we make a big deal out of that too.  Most kids are stuck with the dad they had from birth, DS was chosen by XH to be his kid and that's pretty cool!

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    imageturtle1120:

    Oh, that's rough.  I'm sorry.

    :::Hugs:::

    You know you made the right decision for you and DS.  Part of the problem is that SD seems to be the good time dad, always taking P to do things and constantly entertaining him.  I'm sure that has something to do with it.

    Don't let it get to you.

    This is exactly what I was going to say.  Hang in there!

  • I am so sorry.  I am going through the same thing myself. 
  • That is hard.  My DS looks at pictures of XH and I and says, "that's why you use to be friends."  It makes me feel very guilty. 
  • This stuff sucks, but you know you did the right thing. ((hugs))
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  • Ugh, I'm sorry A.  You know that you did the right thing though. P might not get it now, but there's no doubt that you are raising him to be an amazing person who will one day sing your praises of what an awesome mom you are.  Hang in there ((hugs))
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  • Thats rough.

     

    I don't think P will feel different because his Mommy and Daddy aren't together.  Growing up I was in the minority with my parents still being married.  I am sure their will be plenty of kids around him with divorced parents.

    "You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."
  • I wanted to just say that I am sorry that it happend sooner than you had hoped and that, well it sucks you are going through that right now and I'm sorry for that.

    It is scary to think about when they can talk and say things like that or even the dreaded "I don't want to go" and you have to send them anyway if ordered. A sad reality.

    I did just read your blog the other day, so try and remember what your friend told you about YOU being the one responsible for what/who P is!

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