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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Worried about diabetic Husband
My husband is type 1 diabetic and on the insulin pump. He is 34 years old.. He was diagnosed at 10 y/o.. he has had major psychological issues with this disease his entire life and has never really accepted his illness. He pretty much told me that he has barely tested or taken care of his health his entire life. WE have a 5 year old which he promised and swore he would take care of himself for the day she was born.. That never happened.
He is finally beginning to test over the past 3-4 months. His dr has stated that he is brittle. His sugars are all over the place.. 380, later on it might be 40. He runs super low in the night (even after having a snack) The other day, we went to the store and he felt shaky. tested and it was 75.. he ate a luna bar and half a banana.. not much longer after he tested again and he was 27 There are times before dinner he is 145 and hour or two after eating he is 40.. and this is without bolusing! His dr says he has to be bolusing but I watch and ask him if he is and he is not.. Is this just brittle diabetes?? Does it ever go away?? He has had two virectomies in his left eye and has had laser on his right eye for floaters.. he is so young for all of this as am I to be living it. It is sad and depressing.. And so scary.
His sugar is up and down literally all day long.. no matter what he does or eats. he says that is why he never tested.. he would let it run high instead of dealing with it. what do I do?? I feel like he is dying.
Also, he has talked about seeing spirits. Seeing and hearing voices and ghosts. This is not only during low episodes. I am concerned that maybe there is neurological damage.?
He is finally beginning to test over the past 3-4 months. His dr has stated that he is brittle. His sugars are all over the place.. 380, later on it might be 40. He runs super low in the night (even after having a snack) The other day, we went to the store and he felt shaky. tested and it was 75.. he ate a luna bar and half a banana.. not much longer after he tested again and he was 27 There are times before dinner he is 145 and hour or two after eating he is 40.. and this is without bolusing! His dr says he has to be bolusing but I watch and ask him if he is and he is not.. Is this just brittle diabetes?? Does it ever go away?? He has had two virectomies in his left eye and has had laser on his right eye for floaters.. he is so young for all of this as am I to be living it. It is sad and depressing.. And so scary.
His sugar is up and down literally all day long.. no matter what he does or eats. he says that is why he never tested.. he would let it run high instead of dealing with it. what do I do?? I feel like he is dying.
Also, he has talked about seeing spirits. Seeing and hearing voices and ghosts. This is not only during low episodes. I am concerned that maybe there is neurological damage.?
Re: Worried about diabetic Husband
Hey Ducky, I'm pretty sure I remember you from a post on TIP and it looks like things haven't changed except that you're living with your H again.
Unfortunately, my answer hasn't changed either. You can't make someone get healthy. It is a decision that he will have to make for himself. I'm really sorry that you're being forced to watch his willful decline.
Are you going through with the divorce? Is that part of what is prompting this behavior?
From reading your last post, you need to DTMFA.
You sound like his mother and this relationship sounds unhealthy on SO many levels. You need a spouse that is your equal, not somebody you have to take care of and treat like an invalid. Cut and run.
This is not so much about his diabetes but about him being a totally childish, manipulative a-hole.
two years!
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I'm not going to comment on your marriage because that is not what you asked for.
He needs to see an endocrinologist like yesterday. He also needs to see a diabetic educator and learn what he can eat and when and how to work his pump so that it does what it was designed to do. It is not healthy or safe for his blood sugars to be where they are. There are plenty of resources available to him to get his health under control...he just needs to take advantage of them and use them.
Hi Ducky. I'm mostly a lurker around here, but I've posted occasionally. I wanted to offer up my two cents (for whatever it's worth) since I also have had type 1 diabetes since I was a child.
The initial thing I want to say is that I'm sorry you're in this position. Unlike with type 2 diabetes, there are not "levels" of type 1 diabetes. It's a disease, and it's the same for everyone (for the most part). Your body stops producing insulin. Period. I'm sure you already know all of this, but your husband's health is completely in his control. I'm 27 years old, and while I'm not perfect, I don't have any health complications due to diabetes yet.
Also, no, it will never go away. The only way he'll get better is to test his blood sugar more and adjust his insulin levels accordingly. If he's going low in the middle of the night, he needs to set an alarm for 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. every night for a week so he can test his blood sugars. It's not fun, but it's something every diabetic has to do occasionally to understand what's going on in their body.
I agree with other posters though. You cannot make him change. He needs to want to do it on his own. I'm terribly sorry you're going through all of this. I'm sure it can't be easy.
P.S. Sorry for the book! This ended up longer than I thought it would.
I would second this. My H has been a Type 1 Diabetic since he was 8 and is now 34. His has been well controlled since diagnosis and as a result he lives a healthy (as healthy as possible with a chronic disease) normal life. The key to being healthy with type 1 diabetes is controlling it. It sounds like maybe he could benefit from re-education as this poster suggested. Provide him with the resources (diabetes educator, endcrinologist and nurse educator) to get him on track. Obviously, it will be up to him whether he chooses to use these resources. Good Luck!
Tritto! He needs re-education and support.
MH is also T1 and is super anal about controlling it. Now I am hoping some of the other ladies can chime in on this, but I was wondering if losing the pump and starting from scratch would help? MH was diagnosed at age 33 (weird, I know), and his endo. did NOT want him on the pump until he had a firm grip on his diet, his insulin needs, his reaction to insulin dosage, and how to recognize highs and lows. He actually likes being in control and has not gotten a pump yet.
Good luck!
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ITA with pp's. He needs to see a TEAM of diabetes experts. Eating a Luna bar and a banana will get his sugar up, but a diabetic should have been educated that he needs protein to KEEP it up. I hope he gets some help soon.