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Poor SIL
T's youngest sister is getting married at the end of the month. She sent her invites out months ago and the reception is adults only. The invites were addressed to the adults only.
T's aunt and cousin live with his grandmother. The cousin is 12. SIL sends the invites addressed to aunt and grandmother only. The grandmother takes the reply cards for both and sends them back with a plus 1 for the cousin. SIL makes it known cousin is not invited...it's 18 and older. SIL tells FIL to make sure grandmother (she's his mother) understands this. No more was said other than if cousin could stay with my mom during the wedding. We thought it was the end of the drama.
Last night SIL gets an email from grandmother that reads the following:
"Subject: WEDDING NEWS
I am just letting you know that since cousin can't come I will not be attending your wedding either. I am just sorry that I spent $1,000 to get there. i could have used it in other ways. More than likely since I will not be attending I doubt if Aunt L and Uncle B will be attending either.
Have a nice life.
Grandmom"
I'm flabbergasted.
This is the grandmother that pretends I don't exist when she's in town and ignored me at my own wedding because we didn't invite the same cousin because she was 8 years old at the time and also had an adult only reception.
Re: Poor SIL
Hammer meet nail.
I hope your SIL doesn't back down and sticks to her guns about this. I really think weddings can bring out the worst in family members.
I'm a biitch though and would probably email back saying "well you're welcome for the money I'm saving you for not paying for aunt and cousin to travel now too."
What a b*tch.
This. It's not as if the "Adults Only" choice is a personal attack on anyone. Why some people choose to turn even the most simple things into an issue and make it about themselves, I'll never understand.
Adult only weddings make me kinda sad. But, I understand that there are lots of folks who prefer them, for a vast variety of reasons. (I actually didn't know this until I first checked out the knot.)
But, even though I'd be sad about it, I'd suck it up and either attend, or not attend, and simply RSVP one way or the other. The message from the grandmother was downright cruel and manipulative, and I'd guess from it that she is used to getting her own way.
Hopefully, your SIL can be the bigger person, and simply reply to the grandma along the lines of "I'm sorry you feel that way. We'll miss your company at the wedding. I'll update the numbers I need for the caterers accordingly."
TBH, I wish some of my family would not have come to our wedding. We had a ton of kid crashers.... we made it clear they were not invited and they just showed up anyway.
Their wedding sounds like it's better off without crazy grumpy Grandma.
My Blog
I get that it can be a little disappointing that an event such as a wedding is "adults only", but really? Respond that way? No. That's really immature in my book. Of course she's wanting your SIL to respond saying, "Oh, Grandma! We could never imagine not having you there, please, if that's what you really need, please please, bring cousin. We'll make it work for you"
*throw up*
I'm sorry she's having to deal with this. A wedding is stressful enough on its own, and now add family drama=not cool.