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? for those divorced w/kids- re: last name

Papers were filed on Monday and I am requesting to go back to my maiden name. My married name is difficult to say and spell and my maiden name is much easier.

I am not concerned about having a different last name than my daughters, afterall, it is just a name and doesn't mean I am no longer their mother. However, a few people have brought up situations that might be awkward. I.E. school meetings with teacher and introduced as Mrs. DaughtersLastName. I am ok with that an plan on making the correction if and when that happens.

Have any of you run into situations that were awkward or uncomfortable because of this? How did you handle it? Thanks!

image image Our Angel baby 6/10/08 @ 6w6d

Re: ? for those divorced w/kids- re: last name

  • I don't have any personal experience, but I feel like this might be one of those times where it's only as awkward or uncomfortable as you make it.  Yes, your kids' friends and teachers are likely to start with "Mrs. DaughtersLastName," and if you know that you'll politely correct them and not get all butthurt over it, then it's no big deal.  If you think there's any chance that it will offend you being called "Mrs. DaughtersLastName," then you have a potential to run into issues.
  • I kept my married last name, mostly because I am lazy but also partially to have the same name as my son and bc my married name is easier.  I wouldn't think it's a big deal though to correct people when they assume you have the same last name as your kid.  I mean, at school, they always assume I am a Mrs. and I used to correct people and say it's Ms but I don't really care any more.  It's weird too b/c they all know I am a single mom (I have frequent school meetings b/c my son is in special ed) but they still call me Mrs.  Whatever
  • My son is not yet in school so I have not had the experiences yet.  I am sure some people will say my name wrong because of DS's name but at the same time, it is very common for parents to have different names.

    More than half of my married friends did not take on their husband's last name; they too share the same situation even though they never divorced.  I never really heard them complain about this topic.

     

  • imageHeavenlyExcitedBride:
    My son is not yet in school so I have not had the experiences yet.  I am sure some people will say my name wrong because of DS's name but at the same time, it is very common for parents to have different names.

    More than half of my married friends did not take on their husband's last name; they too share the same situation even though they never divorced.  I never really heard them complain about this topic.

    Yes, I thought this exactly and this is one of the reasons I don't see it being a big deal.

    image image Our Angel baby 6/10/08 @ 6w6d
  • imageHeavenlyExcitedBride:

    it is very common for parents to have different names.

    More than half of my married friends did not take on their husband's last name; they too share the same situation even though they never divorced.  I never really heard them complain about this topic.

    This. 
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I have a different last name than my daughter, she is 7.  Most of the teachers and school administrators refer to me by my last name.  However, there are times at school and doctors appointments that I am called Mrs. Daughter'sLastName, I do not correct them.  I don't see a point, I know that they are referring to me.  Also, My daughter's friends ALWAYS call me by her last name and I never correct them.  If she were in high school I may feel differently but at this age I don't think it is necessary. 
  • AudgAudg member
    Hmm this post has got me thinking now.. I was not planning on changing my last name for the sole reasons of having the same last name as my son, but the points made here are so valid that now I'm thinking I'll change it back to my maiden name...thanks for this question.
  • imageAudg:
    Hmm this post has got me thinking now.. I was not planning on changing my last name for the sole reasons of having the same last name as my son, but the points made here are so valid that now I'm thinking I'll change it back to my maiden name...thanks for this question.

    Same here.

  • imagejaime ma famille:

    imageAudg:
    Hmm this post has got me thinking now.. I was not planning on changing my last name for the sole reasons of having the same last name as my son, but the points made here are so valid that now I'm thinking I'll change it back to my maiden name...thanks for this question.

    Same here.

    YW Big Smile

    image image Our Angel baby 6/10/08 @ 6w6d
  • I kept my maiden name, and my kids have dh's name. No one has ever questioned why, or suggested that I was not their mother. I have never been made uncomfortable by the 'issue', which I think is a nonissue. They're my children, I'm their mother. We're close.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • So many families have so many different situations with names that I think you should just do what you are most comfortable with.  Correct them if you want, don't if you don't care.

    So my deal is this:  My mom married my step-dad when I was 10.  I kept my bio-dad's name and my mom took my step-dad's name at that point.  The funniest situations were when someone would call my step-dad Mr. MyLastName.  We still laugh about those.

  • It is a personal choice. I know most women have no trouble with it, others get annoyed because in places like schools or hospitals you may have to "prove" you are the mother through documentation.

    I was seperated at the time of my daughter's birth and I gave her my maiden name, then changed my name back. In my situation I did not want my child to share the last name with my X because of his actions/reputaion.

    Like I said I do not think most people have a big issue with this. Personally I think it is slightly easier to have the same name.

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