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Question about Africa
Has anyone ever lived there? Specifically Malawi? I don't think any of us are there now, but just wondering if anyone has any insight into life in Africa. Basically our time in London is drawing to an end and we don't know what to do next. DH was hoping to take a position back in the US because we would love to be close to family and friends. The job position was something that he would probably really enjoy and would be challenging. The problem was his CEO wants him to go work at one of the banks in the field. The one they offered was Malawi. I've never been to Africa and really want to think that I'd like living there, but unsure!
Honestly I've been a bit unhappy here (in London) but really think its seasonal depression, rather than homesickness. Some of the things I really dislike about London would be completely different in Africa - I really don't like living in a big city. I much prefer open spaces and smaller towns. I find people here really "unfriendly" - just quiet and difficult to approach. That would also be completely different in Africa.
I'm hoping that we could take a trip before we made a decision. DH wants me to have more of an opinion, but I really don't know! It would be nice to be by family, but at the same time we probably wouldn't live abroad again. It would be a fun adventure for a year or two, but at the same time with a toddler and hopefully a baby soon, I don't know how living in Africa would be! Any insight or advice?
Re: Question about Africa
Sorry, I wish I had insight... I just wanted to say that I'd be so excited! A scouting trip sounds like a smart idea, especially because you have a child and making sure the place feels right for her would be my major concern.
Good luck deciding! I'm looking forward to reading all the suggestions
I think that would be a really great opportunity, but that a scouting trip would be good to do first.
I don't know anything about Malawi myself - I recall hearing something about Madonna funding an orphanage there and that pineapple is a strong export - something like that. Off to google I go.
Anyway, I'd imagine that living in a country such as Malawi in Africa would be an adventure but also quite a struggle as well and if you're prepared for the experience then why not? I was terrified when I first moved to China and in the end I hated to leave.
I'm sure that in Malawi there will be more close knit expat communities than there are in London as the expats would be fewer and more desperate to cling to eachother like rabid koalas.
What didn't you like about London? ( I'm not a fan of London myself - and am really looking forward to moving a bit further out into Zone 5 later this month!)
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
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I don't know much about Malawi, except that it's supposed to be very pretty and lush. Also, I know Cape Town is certainly not Africa in all its glory, but I'll try and give some perspective:
1. The distance is hard. Mainly because it's so hard to get anywhere. Even from Cape Town, you can never find direct flights to anywhere easily so the journeys are LONG. It makes you feel pretty isolated, especially if you're coming from a place like London.
2. Like Tofu said, I'm sure the expat communities in Malawi will be strong and supportive. You find each other and help each other as much as possible. You find a network.
3. It seems to be that in many of the African countries, foreigners live pretty well. Friends of ours have had personal drivers, chefs, housekeepers, bodyguards...etc. Your H's company will certainly be providing a lot of that.
4. You need patience. Customer service and efficiency are not things that come easily. People are relaxed, time is relative, standards are a bit lower. Don't try to beat 'em, just join 'em.
4. Because Malawi is so green, malaria will be an issue. Look into that, especially with your LO and if you're TTC. A couple friends of mine have traveled while pg (one went to Malawi) and not had any problems (they also had a 1.5 year old). But you'll want to know your facts before you go, even just for a short visit.
In the end, anything for a year or two isn't a bad deal. You get the adventure and the taste of culture but you can leave when things start to lose their novelty and charm. And if you love it, you can negotiate to stay longer!
There's a couple things: I really am not a city person. I'd much rather live in a small town in the midwest than in a large city. Even though we're in zone 4, its still too much of a city for me! Along those same lines, because we have a child getting into the actual city is very difficult and not very fun, when we do go in - I'm worried about her missing naps, its not easy to navigate the tube, and I'm just exhausted and don't enjoy seeing things then!
Another thing is that I really think I have seasonal depression. Last winter we went back to the US (sunny California) the end of February/beginning of March and my hormones were all over the place anyways from having a baby, so I don't think I realized how much I dislike the dreary weather. We don't have a car, so doing everyday activities like grocery shopping, and meeting up with people seems really difficult, especially on rainy/cold days.
The last thing I really dislike is the size of our house! I cannot wait to have a larger house
I know this makes me sound spoiled.... but.... its really difficult being home with a toddler in a 700/800 sq. ft house all day long (especially when the weather is bad and we don't want to leave). Its not an open-floor plan, and I can't see her when she's playing and I'm in the kitchen.... it sort of feels like a prison at times.
What's your problem with London?
Well, I'll give you the tube issue with a kid. Try doing it with a giant twin stroller. It's enough to make you contemplate suicide. Absolutely brutal.
I'm not a fan of big cities, and museums and things don't appeal much to me - so going into London on the weekend to do touristy stuff is not something I would enjoy. However, I did find that we started to like London a lot more when we got a car here and could go out to the country on weekends, which we love, but don't do often enough.
I worry about the economy in London and feel that I would enjoy my job a lot more if we were somewhere outside of London and not paying ?280,000/year for rent, plus outrageous rates, etc. We're looking at Cambridge because it would be a lot less stressful and a lot more relaxed financially and competition wise. I hate that I pay ?2000/month in rent for a 4 bed bungalow in zone 2 and it's rubbish - carpets from hell and mold throughout - we're moving to a cute place in zone 5 but for a 3 bed house it's ?1350 - but a good friend of mine just saw a cute place down south with views of the ocean for ?650/month. Ridiculous.
There are a lot of things that I do love about London though - online shopping for the win with next day delivery, online grocery shopping, the tube is great even with the twins if you have at least 3 strong adults going with you... we've been to loads of shows of comedians that we love and even DH's favourite band has played here twice now. I love the multiculturalism here, though I do find it hard to make friends here. I love how I'm still at the office at 7:30pm and am waiting for my vegetable masala (holla!) to be delivered along with my boss' chinese food. Fantastic. I love the diversity of food in stores and that when ordering with a credit card online I have to put on an accent to be understood, and I love being a foreigner here, though it's nice to be a secret foreigner and not stand out as much as I did in China.
I love the access to education here and the learning opportunities that have presented themselves, although I hate the UKBA with a burning passion. (bastards).
I love that if you walk out the front of my house all of my neighbours are wealthy Japanese and if you go out the back you've somehow been transported to a pakastani ghetto. My direct neighbour on my right is a feisty Irish woman and the neighbour on my left is Australian but we don't talk to him much - we're pretty sure he has a rape basement and that the bars on his windows are to keep people IN.
I love that in London if I take a look at our closest friends they are American, Canadian, Chinese, British, Australian, Kiwi, Russian and Scottish. It makes things interesting.
The weather blows, but hey. I'm from Canada. I try not to moan about the weather because hey, it's not minus farking 52!
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
The best advice!!! Have known quite a few people who have worked stints in East Africa and it's quite life changing - and there are always surprisingly big and friendly expat communities. Also, East Africans are some of the nicest people I've ever met!
Good luck with your decision, defo do the scouting trip!
Lilongwe - have you been there?
Yeah. There are a good number of expats there. It's super sleepy when compared to London but compared to where I stayed for a summer it's a booming metropolis. IIRC it has a couple museums and a nature preserve and according to one of the South African guys in H's company who lives there with two smallish children, an excellent international primary school.
There's a chance we'll end up there in the future and I'm not adverse to the idea. From what I remember and what I hear from other people, it's got a really vibrant expat community.
I have absolutely nothing to contribute on Africa, but this made me laugh
and start to wonder - do rabid koalas actually cling? Or would they just bite each other? Although that may also be an apt analogy if a group of strangers feel like they have to depend on each other in a foreign country even if they may not like each other very much...
I have nothing to add to Africa, but based on my expat experiences - the harder the location, the more tight-nit the expat community....speak English in London? blah, so what? Speak English in Siberia? You're worth your weight in gold!
Difficult locations just by virtue of being what they are weed out A LOT of people. So usually you get pretty easy going, open minded folks....and sometimes the random stray who thought they were open minded *cough*Jetur*cough*
I certainly wouldn't do it without a look-see trip though. Could be exciting or your personal version of hell - never know.
I have absolutely no advice but I think it's absolutely an amazing opportunity. I would consider almost anywhere in the world now (DH is the one who loves it in Scotland so much) and I think somewhere that different would be a fabulous experience.
I would really want to go first to check it out and meet a few people though.
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I'd want a really kickass expat package to live there. DH is from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia (so "Africa" as you put it in your subject line...I'm sure you didn't mean any offense, btw, but it really irks me when people imply all of Africa is more or less the same like that). Now that we have a child I would be really nervous to be there for the long term, because they drive like maniacs and don't use seat belts or car seats.
Healthcare is also hit or miss. Some of the private hospitals in Addis Ababa are quite good, but a friend of mine who got bitten by a dog there had to be flown to London for the rabies shots because no one in the country had them. I take 2 common (in the US) prescriptions and neither is available--in brand name or generic or any form--in Ethiopia at all.
Prices are quite low, so that's nice. Sometimes the lack of convenience, decent customer service, and my favorite products (Diet Coke!) plus being constantly followed around, asked for money, pointed at and stared at, made me really hate it there though. Remember that as a white person you will stick out like a sore thumb and it's basically like you're wearing a sign that says "I'm super rich!"
But then again, that's Ethiopia. I've never been to Malawi. It might be totally different.
I have lived in Africa, but not in Malawi though I have been to Malawi. Lilongwe is kind of boring to be honest, but I don't think it's very similar to a Midwestern small town either--it has a population of like 800,000! It's just kind of there...all of the expats I know there are either really into the expat drinking scene (shocking for a bunch of aid workers, I know) or really involved with the International School because they have school aged kids. When I've been their for periods of 2-3 weeks I was bored out of my mind. It's no Nairobi or Accra.
I also wouldn't necessarily assume that people will be more friendly there than you've found in London. I've always found it particularly difficult to make friends with locals and long time residents because it's assumed that you "will be gone in 18 months" and the difference in lifestyle is hard to bridge. I think Malawians can be a bit reserved to be honest.
I know you've mentioned your husband's work here before and I work for a similar organization so I have a lot of friends/colleagues raising kids in various African countries. Lilongwe does have some excellent private clinics, so I wouldn't be too worried about health care, though I would want details of what kind of insurance package the offer includes...I wouldn't want to have to be medevaced to Joburg to give birth, for example!
Having lived in a variety of places, I think moving from the US to most of western Europe would be easier than moving to most of sub-Saharan Africa. In the UK you will have a much greater access to American and American-like goods, whereas in Lilongwe there are a couple of western style supermarkets where supplies of these goods are inconsistent and egregiously marked up. I think there is a Mr. Price and a Woolworths, but you would probably want to bring lots of kids clothes with you as the imported ones at Woolies will cost you a fortune. Or you could buy used clothes, which is what most Malawians do.
You'll have a bigger house for sure, though electricity supply is inconsistent and with the recent fuel shortages it may not be feasible to run a generator 24/7. Television and internet service will come and go with little explanation. You will be able to have household help--gardeners, guards, a nanny and a housekeeper are pretty normal for expats. This has obvious upsides, but also downsides as it can get costly and it can be uncomfortable to have a bunch of "strange" people hanging around your house all the time.
Things will be done on "African time" especially when dealing with the local government. I think this is the biggest shock to most people who are living in Africa for the first time. There often seems to be zero logic to how ANYTHING happens, but it always does get done, just when you've completely given up hope of it happening
Having done the expat thing in sub-saharan Africa and now regularly hiring people into those positions I agree with Publius. A lot of it comes down to the compensation package. Will your husband be paid enough to import/purchase a vehicle? Will you be comfortable driving in Lilongwe? Or would you want to hire a personal driver? What types of homes are available--does the employer OWN homes and slot expats into them? Or do you have some freedom to choose one on your own? Will you get a furnishings allowance? Or will you have to wait 6 months for your shipment to arrive in order to have whatever couldn't be carried on a plane? I can't answer any of these questions but the expats who work for your husband's employer in Malawi will be able to speak very specifically to the lifestyle that their compensation package permits.
If you send me a PM, I can discuss this in some more detail. That said, your husband's colleagues are likely to be a better source of info as we don't work for the same agency, and different agencies have very different ideas about expatriate compensation and benefits.