Trouble in Paradise
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Two neighbor WWYDs

This one is from the local morning radio show:

A lady wrote in because her neighbor left a note on her door complaining about her child.  The neighbor basically called her out for not having any rules in place because her 10-yr-old plays outside until about 9 pm every night.  Does the neighbor have a point or should the neighbor STFU?

This one is my own personal question:

As you know, BF recently bought a house.  We've met a few of the neighbors and they are very nice.  Everyone around us are "dog people" - yay!  However, the couple next door have been noticeably chilly to us from the first day we moved in.  I get the feeling this is their issue and has nothing to do with us.  They like to keep to themselves, so whatever.  Well, they recently had a baby - and have kicked their dogs out.  They live outside 24/7.  It rankles me that people like this exist (instead of being responsible pet owners and training the dogs, they just give them the heave-ho), but I recognize that their decisions are theirs alone.

However.

Because these dogs are unsupervised for much of the time, and obviously untrained, it has become impossible for us to quietly let our dogs out into the backyard.  Everytime they go out, the neighbors' dogs are at the fence barking and snarling.  At first, one of my dogs wanted to engage at the fence, but with some supervision and training, she's good about staying away from the fence now (though will lob a few barks their way).  The commotion the neighbors' dogs cause is really not of any my concern (though BF hates that our dogs' presence contributes to it).  There is real concern though that these dogs are going to bust through the wood fence one day.  They are large animals and they throw themselves at it.  BF wants to build a secondary fence on our side of the yard just in case the first fence doesn't hold them.  The very idea that we have to spend money to mitigate someone else's negligence pisses me off.  WWYD?  

 

This is my siggy.

Re: Two neighbor WWYDs

  • Situation #1 the neighbor should STFU. I agree with the neighbor about having a kid out that late on a school night HOWEVER it isn't her place to say anything UNLESS the child is destroying property, being loud and/or bothersome. 

     

    Situation #2 I would talk to the neighbors about the dogs.  They may be chilly to you but I would just explain that you are afraid that the dogs will get out and its not safe.  If they don't respond well to your convo I would build the damn fence and never speak to them

  • 1) Neighbor needs to butt out.  I'm proud of that mother for getting her kid outside!  There are way too many children being raised by electronics.  And if he's out until 9 PM who cares, that's his bedtime and it's not her business.  If he's running around banging on neighbors' doors or something then he needs to be taught about appropriate behavior but he absolutely should not be locked inside because his neighbor is crotchety.

    2) I would probably build the second fence, honestly.  It would make me every bit as angry as I'm sure it's making you.  I'd also try to make it taller and more solid so maybe the neighbors' dogs don't see your dogs out?  It could cut down on the noise.  I don't know what the rules are in your neighborhood, but I DO know that my MIL's psycho neighbor built a deer fence with canvas over it so my MIL's crazy dogs can't see her crazy chickens and bark anymore.  (I swear to you I don't actually live in the middle of nowhere, people here just act like we do.)

  • #1 - unless the kid is dribbling a basketball for hours on end, or ridiing his bike wrecklessly in the road, who cares if the kid plays outside all day. Thats what we did when we were little. Who's to say the kid doesn't come in at 9, hit the shower and is in bed by 9:30? Lady should MYOB.

    #2 - Are the dogs out there night and day, cold and hot? Anything you could file with the town/city/village? I wouldn't spend money until I'd exhausted all other efforts to talk to the owner, file complaints, etc.

  • Situation #1 - Unless the kid is being loud or destructive and he's being safe (playing in his own yard, etc), the neighbor should STFU. We had a neighbor b!tch once... my BFF and I would practice our color guard stuff outside, late in the evening. The neighbor complained about the noise that we were making (we had a radio out that really wasn't loud and occasionally a flag pole dropped). Dumbass didn't realize that we were the girls who hung out with the drum line. We invited the entire drum line over one night to practice; 5 bass drums, 4 snares, 4 quads and 2 sets of cymbals. The neighbor never complained about noise from our little flag poles again.

     

    Situtation #2 - I'd probably knock on the neighbors door and tell them about their dogs. Are they out alone all day? That's not allowed in our neighborhood... dogs have to be supervised. Is there anything you can complain to?

  • #1 - I think it's absolutely AMAZING that there are still people who let their kids play outside. It's utterly depressing how many kids don't. Fock that neighbor.

    #2 - I'd go with whoever suggested talking to the neighbors and then putting up another fence. 

    - namaste mothafockaaaas - image
  • imageMotzie:

    #2 - Are the dogs out there night and day, cold and hot? Anything you could file with the town/city/village? I wouldn't spend money until I'd exhausted all other efforts to talk to the owner, file complaints, etc.

    They're there every time we let our dogs into the backyard (morning before work, immediately after work, right before bed).  I have no idea if they are there overnight.  If it's raining or super cold, they'll put them in the screened-in porch.  Since we have to live next to them I'm not too keen on filing a formal complaint with the city, though I'm highly skeptical that us talking to them will go over well either.  The one time I tried to say hi to them (we were both in our front yards), they literally looked right through me, turned their backs, and ignored me.  I have a feeling that our presence has interrupted their status quo and they dislike us for it. 

    As an FYI, we don't have a HOA, so we don't have a "lesser" body to elevate the issue to, but on the other hand, we can build a solid brick wall there if we wanted to.  Maybe free-stacking some cinderblocks would work (and wouldn't be too expensive).

    Oh, and Muddled, these are the LSU neighbors.  Shocking I know. 

    This is my siggy.
  • imageBowiesInSpace:

    Oh, and Muddled, these are the LSU neighbors.  Shocking I know. 

    Bwahahahahaha!! Why am I not surprised?

    I think I would go with the, "I'm worried about the state of the fence" argument. 

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • Well, it's dark here at 7 pm. So yes, I'd be worried about a 10 yo outside in the dark at 9 pm, but I'm not sure what I'd say to the parent. I'd be more likely to call CPS than confront the parent (who doubtless is aware that it is DARK outside).

    As for the dogs, I'd be pretty unhappy about that too. I'd put up some kind of a privacy fence so the next door dogs cant see into the yard, but I'm not sure that'd help either. Talking to the dogowners might help.

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • about the dogs: If they are outside all day with no supervision...I'd call animal control. The owners clearly aren't interested in them anymore. That is no quality of life for those dogs. 

    You could put up another fence...but that doesn't really solve the bigger issue IMHO.

     Good luck!

     

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