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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
my husband says "NO" to vacations
So we have been together going on five years now and I have asked for a few years now if we could go on a real vacation. He stated that we could and we packed up some clothes and we got in the car and we ended up at his parents house. This happens more often then I would like to even admit. All "Vacations" that we have been on since we started dating and even since we got married have been to a family members house or to one of his friends house, who I believe are still children. I have asked can we go somewhere stay at a hotel, do sight seeing and have a romantic time just the two of us. He has said no because hotel's are too expensive and why would we spend money on a hotel if we didn't have to, there is always family around to take care of us he says. He isn't graspping that I need a vacation, I need to feel important and loved and that we are the only two people in the world. He is not getting that and honestly I don't think he cares very much either. Its making me resent him, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Re: my husband says "NO" to vacations
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
How does this happen.
Are you blindfolded? Does he tell you you're driving to Hawaii and you end up in Toledo?
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
I asked my H for years for a vacation. After him saying yes, he wanted to go, but then never doing anything about it..... I decided to go on vacation with my friend.
We leave this week and I am so excited. Sometimes, if you want something, you have to be prepared to get it for yourself. And you have to listen not only to his words, but his actions. He doesn't want to go...unless it is to stay with family. So, you can either accept that, go on vacations without him, or get divorced and find a new dude who will vacation with you.
He did this before you were married. Why did you think he would change when you got married?
In what other areas is he cheap? Does he scrimp on presents or other luxuries or anything *he* doesn't think is essential?
It's not just up to him if YOU go on vacation. It is however up to him if HE goes on vacation. Go on a vacation with your girlfriends. It is obvious IMO that he doesn't want to go on vacation....that doesn't mean you shouldn't.
We visit friends because it's fun, but then we take a few days in a nearby, interesting place with a hotel. All in all its not that expensve to extend our trip to a few nights beyond the weekend hospitality of friends/family.
But, yeah, why does the entire vacation trip begin and end with your husband's ability to plan?
You packed, got into a car and didn't realize you were visiting his parents?? How can you be so out of touch? And if that happened once, how can you ever let it happen again? Just use your credit card to book 2 nights at a reasonable place. If money is that tight, budget it when you set your yearly budget up. If you don't set mutual financial goals - start.
This does not make any sense. Why do you have the impression you are going to a specific destination? Does he tell you that you are going to a particular location and have you pack a bag and then you end up at his parents? Or are you just assuming you are going some place else? Either he is lying to you or you are not asking enough questions. Either way you need to communicate better.
Solution: move to an area where the airport doesn't look like your in-laws' house. That way, you won't be fooled like this again.
You're right. Every single person that takes a girls trip or goes on vacation without their SO doesn't love them or want to spend time with them.
Again, why can't you plan the damn vacation?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
WOW..... so I came on here looking for advice and help, not to be slammed and spoke down too. I understand that I CAN take a trip without him, I don't WANT to. I also never stated that anyone who take a trip without their husband doesn't love them, what I am saying however is that I personally would prefer to take a trip with my husband and enjoy HIS company. I have take trips with my friends, but I would like him to PLAN and EXECUTE a vacation. I don't know if everyone on this site is just rude and catty because everyone is PMSing, but seriously I obviously have choosen the inncorrect site to ask any questions. I will make sure to never make this mistake again.
Why do you want him to plan and execute something he's clearly not any good at? Have you told him you don't want to vacation at someone's house? How about opening your mouth? Or is he supposed to read your mind? I hope his day job isn't being a psychic.
You weren't being slammed really. You just have really poor communication skills with your husband and Internet strangers. Your originally post doesn't really make sense. The whole scenario just doesn't make much sense. I don't vacation without my husband because we don't have the time or funds to take separate vacations. But if we were to go away it would be a discussion between us. Not like an SVU episode Chung Chung where I'm blindfolded and end up at my MIL's for a week.