Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Allow me to be shallow for a moment....
It's Just Lunch.
I had never heard of it until you mentioned it on here. Once I realized you had no clue what the person looked like I cringed. I saw it as a way for a poindexter or a troll to assure themselves of a date. Society is very image driven, so people who arent "stylish" or dont possess "good looks" likely have a difficult time finding dates. Sure enough you spent $$$ and 75 minutes with an uber dork who couldnt hold a conversation with a cat if he needed to.
I would run from this method of dating BK. Just my two cents.
Re: Allow me to be shallow for a moment....
We're kind of going out.
The thing is, sometimes I think this is the beauty of it. I've never done IJL but I like the idea of having ZERO expectations about your potential date. I think the expectations (based on a fuzzy, sometimes old picture) can really lead to disappointment. And the idea is, it's only an hour out of your life so how bad could it be?
I disagree with you jm.
I don't think you are being shallow regarding to IJL method. Assessing how the other person looked, dressed and hold him/herself says a lot about themelves. I don't want to date a man who is not comfortable in his own skin.
With that said, I turned down a really awesome man in the past because he was "too skinny". I never came across another guy with his awesome personality and happy disposition. His skinniness would not bother me at all today. It is one of my biggest regret and lesson I learned about maturity and shallowness.
Everyday? Really? You must have something better to do.
You hate me because I made a shallow comment, yet you have a picture of yourself seated next to Ryan Gosling...a man considered by many to be one of the hottest men on the planet. LMFAO!!!!!!
Me too.
No worries Achase!! Difference of opinions is what makes boards like this interesting.
Yea, I am about as shallow as they come too... I figured I've been doing a pretty shitty job of picking dates maybe I should give someone else a chance. Didn't really work out that well. Hmm... other suggestions?
I like your punny... although I don't think you even intended it... lol
I love you more every day, JM.
I do disagree on the IJL thing though. People say online dating (or fraternities and sororities for that matter) are for people who need to pay to date or make friends. I think it's just a different avenue for meeting people. There are socially awkward people in all walks of life that we may or may not find attractive. I like the idea of IJL to be honest and would consider it in the future.
JM, you bring up an interesting point. How many people here that do online dating won't talk to someone who doesn't have a picture on their profile? I have read of a lot of people doing that.
Flame me if you want, but I agree with JM. I was REALLY busy when I was dating and so I didn't waste time (mine and theirs) if I wasn't attracted to you in any way. If a picture was iffy I would still go on the date but if it was a no way, why waste anyone's time?
I get that everyone is different. IJL may work for some.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I agree JM. Pictures are a must before I meet anyone from online. Looks matter. A person doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, but there's got to be some sort of physical attraction there. Anyone who says otherwise is a lying liar who lies.
I wish I did BK. Been on at least 15 dates from Match and only a couple ever made it to 2nd date, so I am not the dating guru. Just feel that IJL wouldnt be for me. The last couple women I dated I met through my wellness center and friend of a friend.
I agree and disagree. I don't think a picture really tells you much. When I was online dating I tried really hard not to dismiss people just because of a photo if their profile and emails were engaging. I know from past experience, physical looks don't matter much to me to be honest. The person becomes physically attractive to me as I get to know them, although I can objectively see they are not in fact attractive if that makes sense? This is why I dislike online dating. It's too easy to dismiss people.
You can also put me in the agree with JM category. When I was dating after my divorce, I was very selective about who I went out with because I know the complete package I'm looking for and didn't want to waste my time.
LOL. I can sip whiskey with the best of 'em.
My radical other suggestion is to stop meeting men on the internet, and just go up and introduce yourself to any attractive men you see oot and aboot (who aren't with a woman, or wearing a ring). That way, you get both the looks and initial impressions as far as mannerisms and whether or not they carry an aura of douche. I don't know why so few people do this.
I can't remember the last time I saw an attractive man in public.
Great idea! I'll get right on that. TIA