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Q about DH when in uniform & on base
So I'm reading a book about being new to the military life, trying to prepare for a totally new way of life!
One thing she mentioned is when DH is in uniform and on base be prepared that they're not allowed to (or at least it's frowned upon) have any PDA, which includes holding hands, etc. I can deal with that if holding hands is against the rules. But my question is, does that fall down to children too? I think it would break both LO's and DH's heart if he wasn't able to carry him is LO wanted him to, or hold his hand.. Especially knowing there may be times DH has to go a long time without seeing LO, I'd want them to be able to bond and be together as often as possible. So yes, my question is, while in uniform and on base can DH hold DS or hold his hand?
Thanks
Re: Q about DH when in uniform & on base
Homecomings and send-offs are the exception to the PDA and hand holding rule, but you should still be respectful. Honestly, I don't know how strict they are about it with kids, and it really depends on who sees you and who decides to make a big deal about it.
How often do you really think you'll be on base with your H in uniform though? Especially with the kids with you? Other than homecomings and send-offs I think I may have been on base with H in uniform like 3 times. Either way though, I don't think it's ever going to be often enough that your kids are going to miss out on bonding time with their dad if they can't be holding their hand at that moment.
Well our hope is to live on base. So I guess I was thinking if we met up for lunch then LO would be sad if he couldn't run to his Daddy and be picked up. Obviously never done this before, so maybe we won't be able to meet up often while he's in uniform.. It was just something that stood out to me when I was reading last night.
The PDA isn't a big deal to me, DH and I aren't really into it. We do normally hold hands, but it's no biggie if we can't while he's in uniform.
Thanks!
I'm an over thinker in general.. I normally need a slap back to reality :-)
I read somewhere that the service member's hands need to be free in the event of needing to salute an officer (the spouse should stand on the left, no pushing a stroller, etc). I'll have to run off to the Google machine to find it...but my husband has held our daughter plenty of times while we were on post in the presence of his superiors but they never gave him a problem. They're usually distracted by how cute our daughter is.
(I'm not biased at all.) I doubt most people will give you issue when it comes to kids though...most people understand parenting is a two person gig these days.
As far as the PDA...like others have said...just don't make out on while he's in uniform and you're good.
Lol
The bold is true. But it should be second nature for a SM to carry things in their left hand so they can salute with their right.
Instead of holding hands, sometimes I would slip my right hand into the crook of his left arm. And, I try to dress nicely (or at least nicer than my daily "mom uniform" of yoga pants and a comfy shirt) when we go to have lunch with DH at work. And, when we've been at work with DH, he carries LO with no problem. Heck, after DH's promotion ceremony, his boss gave us a tour of the building, including the impact site (DH worked at that five sided building)--and he (DH's boss) carried our LO, while the SGM pushed the empty stroller!
Getting prepared is good, but military life, for dependents, is not like it was 50 years ago. Be respectful, polite and supportive and you'll do great!!
In the Army you shouldn't show PDA while in uniform except at traditional special occassions (wedding, commissioning, change of command or responsibility, retirement, receiving an award,at a social event like a ball, etc.). I'm not sure about the other services but generally speaking It's not professional to show PDA in the workplace. In addition, many places are cracking down on this through official policy letters because of the recision of don't ask don't tell. I advise that you refrain from holding hands or kissing in public while he's in uniform. I would also recommend that you not visit him at work during normal duty hours overly often. Maybe one or twice a month at most. Even though people won't necessarily say anything about it, it will not be seen as professional or appropriate if you're at his workplace during work hours too often.
This doesn't apply to children. He can hold the child's hand, pick the child up, etc. without worry.
This just reminded me of a story that I know you are all dying to read about.
So, when DH was graduating from AIT, I was already permanent party on that base. (We enlisted after being together for lots of years) but his AIT was ridiculously long. We were walking to his company and there was a couple in front of us (one SM and his wife). They were holding hands. Someone yelled at them from somewhere "No PDA!"
The guy seriously looked around, looked at us, and said "I don't have a PDA!?"
Personal Data Assistant.
LOLZ
LOL.
His version of the "What is your example of the perfect date?" scene in Miss Congeniality.
I love it.
*snort*
No walking and talking on your cell phone!