Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
**Simplyinpenguin**
Can we get an update, please? How did it go?
I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
Re: **Simplyinpenguin**
It was in yesterday's confessions. It was a different poster that DD'd.
Ohhh right, sorry. I hadn't had my coffee this morning when I couldn't find it. Even after I responded to it. Doh.
I did update on that thread but here's another:
So I told H about the cheating thing. I had my bag filled with clothes and my papers ready to go in case he told me to leave. It wasn't like that at all.
He went to me, put his arms around me, told me he loves me and that he already knew...well suspected mostly. He didn't yell, get angry, or call me names.
So we talked pretty much all night about what's wrong with us, what to fix (I did bring up the making out with girls and other things that I've griped on here), and how we're going to fix it.
It also came out that my underlying root of my desire to be free from H, was because I never got that independent streak most women get. I went from the familial home to a married home. Never got the living on my own, serial dating, not answering to no one phase most get to enjoy. I need to work on that and get over it because all that may have its perks but I'm at where it takes people years to get to. Does that make sense?
Cool. I feel like when you care about a person so much, sometimes you forget to care about yourself. You should be living for yourself and not for him. If he is a good partner and a positive influence in your life, so be it. If you think to yourself, If I met this man knowing what I know now I would never never ever go for him, that's an enormous red flag.
I wish you the best of luck as you work this through. Stay in counseling. Find someone new if yours isn't working out. Let us know how you are doing. Based on what you have posted here, you both have your faults. Your H has plenty of things to work out on his own, his addiction being one. You just need to decide if this is worth working on or a waste of your time. It sounds like you are leaning towards working on it. Please please give this up if it turns out that you are the only one working on it. Or if he can't/won't help you reach your goals. And, of course, listen to your gut and respect your dealbreakers.